Good morning, my dear sweet brothers & sisters of the Craft! As you have probably guessed by now, we are off the internet today. Yesterday took a very heavy toll on all of us. I didn’t realize how heavy the toll would be till the names of the victims were released this morning. One I already knew had been killed at the school, her aunt called me. The other, a fifteen year old young man, my ex-husband worked with his father and knew him also. This area is a tight-knit community and it seems everyone is kin to everyone else or else we know each other.
The girl’s aunt called me and I know she was looking for words of comfort. I tried to console her as the best as I could. But that school shooting had opened up old wounds for me and the words became very difficult to find. She asked if I could come and spend some time with her today and I am going. Her aunt is a good friend and you don’t desert your friends in their time of need. The story for her aunt only gets sadder. A little over a year ago, her husband passed away. I comforted her and consoled her during that. She told me that I was her rock and she couldn’t have made it through her husband’s passing without me. This rock is crumbled. I know there will be questions and I don’t know if I have the answer for those questions.
The biggest question will be, why did this happen? Why was my baby girl taken from me? How do you answer those questions. These are all good people, why did it have to happen to them, that is the question that keeps going through my head. I know you have probably seen the candle light vigils on TV but the people who lost their children and those in critical condition are in a way angry at God right now. I can understand that completely. If I was in their shoes, I would be angry at the world.
Most of the times the words come easily for me but not today. I dread going to the aunt’s house. I dread going to the prayer vigil. I dread the moments the aunt will turn to me for comfort. The only words I can think of is that there is pure evil in this world. The Divine creates us in Her own image and gives us freewill. Freewill is one of the greatest gifts she gives us. But there are those among us that cannot handle freewill. How some people use that freewill is different from others. I don’t know if they are born with an evil seed or something in their environment pushing them towards evil. But when that evil is released no good can come from it. When the evil is released, killing like we saw yesterday occur. We must mourn the lost of our loved ones and then we have to stand strong against that evil. For that is the truest test, standing strong when the world seems it has taken everything from you. If you don’t, the madman who took your loved one wins. You have to stand strong so that doesn’t happen, you mourn, you miss them but you must go on with life as they would have wanted you too. You have to live your life in their memory and their honor.
The pain will be unbearable at times and I don’t lie, I have lost too many. But it does ease some. You have good days and you will have bad days. On those bad days, imagine your loved one, how they loved you and they wouldn’t want you to be upset and crying over their loss. I believe the answer to that question is no, they wouldn’t. Even though they were taken in such a violent way and before their time, they would want you to continue living your lives in their honor and their memory. Most of all remember, they are no longer on this plane but they are now in a much better place. A place were there is no pain, no suffering, just love. Love of the purest form. We all have the promise of one day we will be reunited with the ones we have lost. Think of that day, live for that day. When you are at your lowest, call their name. They will come and you will feel their presence. Their love for you will last an eternity and as long as you keep them in your hearts, they will always be with you.
You never know what to say, sometimes words are not needed, just being there is enough. I am sincerely hoping that is the case today. I would ask that you say a prayer for the Holt family and the Cope family as they go through this very difficult time. Pray that the Divine gives them comfort and strength. Pray for those at Vanderbilt Hospital, that they will make a speedy recovery. Pray for all those who had to witness the horror of yesterday. No one should ever have to witness a thing such as those young people had too. Help them deal with every emotion they are feeling. Pray for us all in the days ahead. Pray that I can find the words to comfort a grieving family.
Remember my dear, sweet family, hug your children and your loved ones tight and long every day. For in these days and times we ever know.
I love you,
To The Holt Family
To The Cope Family
Our deepest condolences, love & prayers
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.