Yesterday was very bittersweet. Not only was it the day my mom crossed into the Summerland but my oldest granddaughter turned 21 years old.

Through different mediation sessions and dream walks, I received forgiveness from myself as well as my mother for the guilt I had been carrying for the past year thinking I did not visit her often enough and that I gave up on her living too soon. In other words, I felt that maybe the brain swelling and damage it caused her brain would go away if I had just left her on the respirator longer, even though the doctors had told us she would not be herself if she ever did come out of the coma. My mom was very clear to my children and I that she would never want to live as, in her words, “A useless vegetable.” My mom assured me she was very happy to be reunited with my dad that she had loss so many years before and my siblings who did not make it because of miscarriages or being stillborn. She showed me a beautiful feast where ancestors from many, many generations past were sitting to eat, laughter, love and get to know one another. There was an empty chair at the table between her and my dad that she explained was for me in the far future. She told me to embrace life, live it for all it’s worth. Enjoy my grandchildren, love my children even when the were not speaking to me. My mother through example while living and now in the Summerlands saw and taught me what unconditional love really is.

So starting today I will embrace the words she left me with and live my life to its fullest, forgive and love my family even when not forgiven for some type of wrong done to one of them (even if I do not know what I did wrong to the other person). I will not say I have shed my last tear for my mom or dad or other ancestors, but I will do so with joy in my heart knowing they are all together, happy and have not forgotten me. I was assured that some ancestors guide me and my descendants while others protect me and my descendants. In my opinion, no one could ask for anything more. I am not through crossing the veil into the Spirit realm as I am one who can speak for the dead and bring messages back for other families as well and I look forward to visiting with my family from time to time.

The hurt I feel from the loss of my mom and dad won’t magickly disappear ever but I think the hurt will now come down to something I can deal with easier.

If you have lost a loved one and want to talk to someone that has been through it too please email me (ladybeltane@aol.com) I’ll be happy to “listen.”

Blessed be dear ones.