A Little Humor – Signs That You Drink Too Much Coffee

Signs That You Drink Too Much Coffee


  • You answer the door before people knock.
  • Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
  • You ski uphill.
  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  • You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
  • You lick your coffeepot clean.
  • You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there.
  • Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • You chew on other people’s fingernails.
  • Your T-shirt says, “Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.”
  • You can type sixty words per minute… with your feet.
  • You can jump-start your car without cables.
  • No-Doze is a downer.
  • You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.
  • Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
  • You don’t sweat, you percolate.
  • You buy half-and-half by the barrel.
  • You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
  • You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
  • You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
  • You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
  • Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
  • You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
  • People get dizzy just watching you.
  • You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table.
  • The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
  • Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
  • Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
  • Instant coffee takes too long.
  • When someone says “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”
  • You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
  • Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
  • You’re offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.
  • You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
  • You can thread a sewing machine, while it’s running.
  • You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
  • You short out motion detectors.
  • You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
  • Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
  • You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.
  • You don’t tan, you roast.
  • You can’t even remember your second cup.
  • You help your dog chase its tail.

 

Turok’s Cabana

6 thoughts on “A Little Humor – Signs That You Drink Too Much Coffee

  1. I know this is late, decafe is for those who don’t drink enough coffee and can’t tell the difference. Those of us who are serious about our coffee don’t even mess with it. 😀

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  2. Omg, I go to PTA meetings for free coffee, and get really mad when they don’t have any. I do not remember my second cup today. And I have a mug that says “Decaf is the Anti-Christ.”
    –Julie

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    1. Can I get an “Amen” up in here, lmao! I couldn’t resist! You sound just like me, lol! I have to have my coffee and that “Decaf” stuff just don’t cut it. I am wondering who the heck thought up “Decaf” anyway. Did they really think that decaf could be passed off to us coffee fiends as really coffee?

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    1. I am glad you enjoyed it, sweetie! I hope all your friends enjoy it also. Have a super day, Mari!

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