There are lots of books and resources on psychic abilities. There are many different guides to expand your skills and increase your inner sight. However, many of them neglect a most basic aspect: when NOT to use it! That’s right… not how to see more clearly but how to not see at all.
There are times when being able to see is a great gift, but where do you draw the line? How do you keep yourself from becoming the spiritual equivalent of a peeping tom? As a tarot reader, dream walker, and clairvoyant, this is a line I have had to learn to walk very carefully but it worries me that so few places cover this fundamental subject. So I have compiled a list of some basic guidelines for those who want to learn to use their psychic gifts to the fullest.
1) Be specific! When you are trying to see for someone, be very specific in what you ask for. Don’t just aim to see their lives in general, but; instead make sure you are narrowing your focus on the particular issue and only on that issue. If you ask for guidance before you use your gifts, then ask Spirit to show you only what you need to answer the question.
2) Never do a third party reading. In other words, never read for someone regarding someone else. Generally the motives for asking you to pry into the other person’s life are far from pure. If you do not have the consent of the other person, then using your gifts to see into their lives is an invasion of privacy. I do however have two exceptions to this rule: First, if it is parents asking about their own minor child. As the guardian for the child, they have the right to ask. Secondly, relationship readings… and even then I am very careful to ask to see only things that directly impact the client.
3) Find a test subject! I get a lot of people asking me how they are supposed to practice if they can’t “look in” on anyone without their permission. Easy. Find friends who don’t mind you practicing on them… or join an online/local group and ask for volunteers. You will be surprised how many people will be happy to let your practice on them.
4) If the subject makes you uncomfortable, don’t look into it. If you would feel wrong discussing the situation in person, then it definitely is not proper to use your gifts to see into the situation from afar.
5) Never use your gifts to see purely for curiosity’s sake. These gifts come with responsibilities; too many people treat them as if they are some sort of game. You have the very real potential to cause a lot of harm to a person by seeing into things that are none of your business.
6) Never use your gifts to see into the lives of others with the intention of using that information against them in any way – even if it is just to “help”. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
7) Be wary of those who would use you. There are people out there lacking a clear-cut sense of ethics who would love to get their hands on someone with the ability to see.
This is just a basic set of guidelines. You will have to discover your own more personal rules as you go along. There is another set of considerations that also must be taken into account. What happens when you do see more that you need to? What happens when something comes up in a reading that you are not sure should be brought into the light of day?
As an example, I once did a reading for someone on a relationship problem. Everything went along just swimmingly until I looked into where their issues were coming from. Then I got more information than I needed, and a lot more information than I wanted. It was a tarot reading and the cards screamed of an abusive childhood and more traumas than I knew how to deal with.
I didn’t know what to do. Do I mention what I was seeing? Do I risk bringing up something so painful and potentially damaging? The trauma is at the heart of their relationship problem, and they are asking specifically about the cause of the problem… do I have the right to NOT tell them part of their answer? Do I have the right to bring that up at all?
In the end, I very carefully spoke of what I was seeing in the most general terms I could think of. I felt that I needed to tell them something, to at least point in the general direction of their childhood but I didn’t want to go too far into it for fear of opening wounds. So I sort of glossed over it and hoped they would pick up the hint. Not perhaps the best solution but the best I had at a moment’s notice. As it happens they did pick up the hint – and gave me permission to gently tell them in more detail what I saw.
I hadn’t really thought of it before that event – but during a reading we are often put into the position of counselor. This person has come to you for guidance, often with very personal problems and you need to treat it as such. The problem is that we ARE NOT THERAPISTS.
Few people who go into doing readings of whatever type for people are also licensed counselors, and when something truly painful appears in what we see, often referring them to someone who is, is the best that we can do. Yet we deal with much the same issues, and often we end up put into that position whether we like it or not. So walk carefully, and err on the side of caution. Just by the act of looking into that person’s life, we are altering it. Treat your gifts with the respect and caution that they deserve.