Spell To Get Your Boss’s Job
Could you do a better job than your boss? Let magick help you get the promotion you deserve.
Best time to cast:
- During the Waning Moon
- When the Sun or Moon is in Leo or Capricorn
- On Thursdays or Sundays
Items You Will Need:
- A camera and film
- A picture of yourself, looking happy and confident
- A pen
- One (or more) of your hairs
!. Photograph your boss’s office or workspace when she/he isn’t there, then paste a picture of yourself on the photo. Or have a trusted friend photograph you seated at your boss’s desk.
2. On the back of the photo, write your name and new job title.
3. Focus your attention on the photo first thing every morning and last thing every night for one week minimum.
4. When the opportunity arises, hide the photo in your boss’s office in a spot where she/he won’t find it.
5. Tie your hair to the doorknob or sprinkle a few hair clippings in your boss’s desk drawer.
6. Say aloud:
“This office and job are now mine. (Boss’s name) now take another job for which she/he is better suited. We are both very happy and successful in our new positions.”
7. Continue visualizing yourself performing your new job until you receive your well deserved promotion.
How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace
1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.
3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha.”
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you’re doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven’t lost them as much since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it “IN.”
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there’s free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.”
15) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
Today we recognize ‘Bosses Day,’ and with these tough economic times, giving the boss their due might also attach a little job insurance to those efforts. But what if you feel like your boss doesn’t recognize your contributions to the workplace as much as they should? A specific Feng Shui action step promises vast opportunity for garnering recognition and reward on the work front. Position a small brass bell in the middle of the right hand side of your desk and ring it nine times in succession whenever possible. Ringing a bell is believed to affect a complete space clearing around your immediate office environment while attracting new customers to you and your business. Simply by tinkling you can expect increased exposure to lead to increased profits! Use smaller bells if you’re the boss since the slighter sounds of little bells hung above doors or on door handles creates ‘prosperity Chi’ that brings a bigger, better bottom line. And what boss wouldn’t love to hear that ka-ching sound ringing throughout the workplace?
By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com