Source:
“Today’s Cartoon by Randy Glasbergen”
A Little Humor for Your Day – ‘Redneck Tips, lmao!’
Redneck Tips
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to “bruise” the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table…no matter how good his manners are.
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman’s jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
DATING (Outside the Family)
1. Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you’re interested: “I’ve been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago.”
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it is the man’s responsibility to get her to school on time.
THEATER ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can’t hear you.
WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
5. Do not burn rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
Source:
Your Daily Feng Shui News for May 12th – Isn’t it ironic that ‘Fatigue Syndrome Day’
Isn’t it ironic that ‘Fatigue Syndrome Day’ immediately follows a day honoring mothers? If you or someone you know suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome then you’re probably already taking medications to alleviate symptoms of this disease. Holistic treatments include taking ginseng, an Asian herb known to increase energy and combat persistent fatigue, as well as supplemental L-carnitine, found in nearly all body cells, especially those that produce energy. Coenzyme Q-10, DHEA and essential fatty acids, like those found in avocado or fish oil, are all considered critical to the treatment of this condition. Of course, you should always check with your physician before beginning any alternative forms of treatment, but if you’re always low on energy, you might just want to put that appointment high on your priority list.
By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com
Advice from Your Friendly Psychic for May 12th – Chaos Effects
Psychic Tip of the Day
Monday, May, 12 2014
CHAOS EFFECTS
The shakeup you feel at home and on the job is from the chaos that still lingers. Your personal life will be back to normal in a day or so. Do you want to get back on track?
Crack the Cookie
Your Charm for Monday, May 12th is The Menat
Your Charm for Today
Today’s Meaning:
A few prayers to your deity of choice would serve you well when dealing with this aspect. Your questions or requests stand a better chance of being answered in the next few days if you do so.
General Description:
This elaborately ornamental charm, worn by Egyptian women, was supposed to bestow upon them all the blessings of their powerful Hathor, goddess of the sunrise, whose worship was universal in Egypt. Health, strength, happiness – all these were the gifts of this their goddess of love. She was regarded as a loving, protecting mother, both of the living and of the dead; was the deity who filled both heaven and earth with her beneficence, and the dispenser of all the blessings of life.
Your Animal Spirit for Monday, May 12th is the Coyote
Your Animal Spirit for Today
Coyote
Taking yourself too seriously? If you are, Coyote will throw a banana peel in your tracks just to see you take a silly spill. Coyote medicine is Trickster medicine—the practical joker, the chaos maker. If Coyote appeared in your reading today, be ready for a curveball thrown in your direction. Remember, though, Coyote uses the bizarre to help us learn lessons we just can’t seem to get any other way.
Your Ancient Symbol Card for Monday, May 12th is The Sword
Your Ancient Symbol Card for Today
The Sword
The Sword is a a call to action. It indicates challenges are before you and to attain your goals you will have to address them. The Sword does not suggest rash or underhanded behavior on your part. Indeed, while actions indicated by The Sword are decisive, they are based on the power of your wisdom and ethics. The strength of The Sword lies in the moral purity of your actions.
As a daily card, The Sword suggest a time in which you will face external challenges to attaining your goals. These trials are likely to come from a person or persons who stand to gain from your loss or delays in you moving forward. You can expect underhanded play and surprises. Fortunately your position is far stronger than those who scheme to usurp you. Address challenges as they arise and all will be well.
Your Rune For Monday, May 15th is Othala
Your Rune For Today
Othala
Othala represents a solid, immovable home, prosperity and safety. Good fortune based on your heritage and character is yours to enjoy.
Tarot Cards and Moon Phases
Tarot Cards and Moon Phases
The Tarot archetypes sync up with the eight phases of the Moon
Isha Lerner on the topics of tarot, moon, insight, blogs, astrologyYour Tarot Card for Monday, May 12th is Justice
Justice
Monday, May 12th, 2014
Traditionally, what has been known as the Justice card has to do with moral sensitivity and that which gives rise to empathy, compassion and a sense of fairness. Since the time of Solomon, this image has represented a standard for the humane and fair-minded treatment of other beings.
Often including the image of a fulcrum which helps to balance competing needs against the greater good, and a two-edged sword to symbolize the precision needed to make clear judgments, this card reminds us to be careful to attend to important details. It’s a mistake to overlook or minimize anything where this card is concerned. The law of Karma is represented here — what goes around comes around.
Get A Jump on Tomorrow, Your Horoscopes for Tuesday, May 13th
There’s a feeling of optimism in the air, even though we’re still moving through some tricky emotional territory. The intensity of the passionate Scorpio Moon can draw us into conflicts that stir up issues of control. But a sweet trine between buoyant Jupiter and healing Chiron empowers us to strike a healthy balance between being consumed by our own personal dramas and shifting our focus to supporting the goals of the larger community.
Aries Horoscope
(Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Your finances are on your mind today and you may feel more driven now than ever to take positive action. However, you might not respond well to the stress that comes from having to make big decisions at this time. But don’t lose sight of your long-term goals or you could act impulsively for all the wrong reasons. Taking the time to observe the intensity of your current feelings is smarter than reacting to them out of fear. Developing your strategy before jumping in is your quickest route to success.
Taurus Horoscope
(Apr 20 – May 20)
Relationships are fertile ground for growth these days and they can teach you a lot about yourself. But you could run into familiar obstacles to your happiness today even with the best of intentions. Be careful about being too rigid, for you might set yourself up for disappointment if you have too many expectations now. Pay attention to how your memories influence your current reactions. Remaining open to future possibilities is healthier than unconsciously replaying events from the past.
Gemini Horoscope
(May 21 – Jun 20)
You’re tempted to set aside your chores in search of exciting experiences, but the real growth opportunities come from making a commitment now and integrating your goals into your everyday routine. However, fulfilling your obligations might require you to decline an enticing invitation. Don’t stress about what you may be missing; setting priorities and acting responsibly brings longer lasting satisfaction than a few hours of pleasant distraction.
Cancer Horoscope
(Jun 21 – Jul 22)
You finally feel ready to express feelings that you have been keeping to yourself. You might be worried about how others will respond to your disclosure today, but something keeps pushing your fears away just enough so you can speak your piece. Although starting the conversation may seem awkward, don’t back down. Your words could be the catalyst for a discussion that ultimately demolishes the emotional walls and establishes the foundation for a closer relationship. Take a risk and share your heart.
Leo Horoscope
(Jul 23 – Aug 22)
Deeply-rooted fears might rise to the surface today, but don’t let your worries prevent you from having a well-deserved good time. There’s no reason to deny yourself a bit of pleasure if you have been putting in long hours and extra effort to achieve your goals. Residual negativity from a previous hurtful experience doesn’t have to hold you back any longer. If it seems like reality is giving you no for an answer, make sure it’s not really coming from you. Celebrate the little victories while you have the chance.
Virgo Horoscope
(Aug 23 – Sep 22)
You may cherish your friends and family even more these days, but your dependence on them also causes you some concern. It’s not that you’re unwilling to show your vulnerability; it’s just that you might want more time alone. If so, let others know what you need as kindly as possible so they don’t feel rejected in the process. Setting healthy limits ultimately strengthens relationships as long as the wishes of everyone are heard and respected.
Libra Horoscope
(Sep 23 – Oct 22)
You are no stranger to catering to other people’s demands, but you may need to be very firm about stating what you want now. You could be tested today by a self-centered acquaintance who expects more from you than you are willing to give. Don’t fall into the trap of questioning your own intentions. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have much to offer anyone else. Establishing healthy boundaries is critical to your physical and emotional well-being.
Scorpio Horoscope
(Oct 23 – Nov 21)
It’s time to reexamine your relationships now that the evocative Moon is visiting your sign. Your emotional intensity has been known to scare some people away in the past. However, this is not a good reason to hide your feelings. It’s better to know if someone is afraid of your passionate nature before you grow more entangled. Nothing is gained if you’re downplaying your own inner strength just because it makes others uncomfortable. Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are, instead.
Sagittarius Horoscope
(Nov 22 – Dec 21)
There is a lot more going on in your world now than meets the eye. You may be playing for big stakes and your next moves are crucial to your success. Fortunately, you don’t have to share your inner process with everyone you meet. However, if you are captivated by someone — or by a new idea — don’t push to get closer. Give it time; your perspective might change along with your feelings over the next few days. Wait and see what happens before you act in ways you can’t undo. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Capricorn Horoscope
(Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Even if your friends and coworkers are usually supportive of your behavior, they may withhold approval today for no obvious reason. Nevertheless, you’re pretty sure that you’re doing the right thing and you’re willing to wait for others to come around to your point of view. There’s no need to waste energy trying to convince anyone to join your cause. Your actions don’t have to be bold to be successful; they only need to be well-considered and effective for everyone to take notice.
Aquarius Horoscope
(Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Although you might run into a complicated emotional web today, it’s advisable not to get involved in any sticky business that isn’t yours. Steering clear of confusing situations and political undercurrents demonstrates that you can be conscientious and productive at the same time. Instead of wasting time on the telephone or gossiping at the water cooler, set a quiet example by taking the higher road and focusing on the work at hand.
Pisces Horoscope
(Feb 19 – Mar 20)
You may finally be in a position to be acknowledged for your contributions today, even if you aren’t standing on center stage. The appreciation you receive now for your previous efforts could be long overdue, but this doesn’t make it any less real. Just make sure you don’t let the accolades go to your head, or you might lose the respect that you worked so hard to gain. It’s wonderful when your talents are recognized, but it’s your kind and humble heart that makes you truly shine.
Your Horoscopes for Monday, May 12th
We had our fair share of excitement over the past month yet now we feel the earth solidifying under our feet. Thankfully, the graceful Libra Moon helps us to manage our erratic energy and appear more balanced than we actually are. Although our anxiety settles throughout the day, the Moon’s entry into passionate Scorpio at 9:06 pm EDT can be like a burst of emotional intensity. Nevertheless, it’s the small reactions that have the most impact.
Aries Horoscope
(Mar 21 – Apr 19)
You may feel as if you must explain something you did recently, but don’t say you’re sorry until you reexamine your motives. Of course, a sincere apology is in order if you actually stepped over someone’s boundaries. But don’t just go through the motions today, pretending to regret your behavior if your intentions weren’t clear. Remember, you are not responsible for how others react to your direct approach. Nevertheless, an extra dose of kindness goes a long way to smooth over ruffled feathers.
Taurus Horoscope
(Apr 20 – May 20)
Even if you encountered a few rough spots at work last week, you will likely feel more optimistic about what happens today. Unfortunately, your change of heart could be motivated by your current eagerness to sidestep any more trouble. Make sure that you don’t slip into denial so you can try to float through the day without worry. It’s best to tackle stress directly and handle the situation calmly rather than acting like everything is fine when it’s not. Others are depending on you to hold up your corner of the universe, so don’t let them down.
Gemini Horoscope
(May 21 – Jun 20)
You’re in a generous mood when sharing what you want today, enabling you to use your charm to your advantage. But you could go overboard in your desire to be accommodating to those you like. Nevertheless, don’t be afraid to acknowledge your own desires, even if you can’t rationalize them at this time. Although operating in the realm of logic is naturally easier for you, it’s not healthy to detach from your passions. Listening to your heart takes extra effort now, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Cancer Horoscope
(Jun 21 – Jul 22)
Your search to find balance between your inner and outer worlds today may fall short of your perfect scenario. Your direction at work might be changing yet you still are tempted to hang onto your old long-term goals. However, you’re tired of fighting off the upcoming shift; surrendering to the larger wave now enables you to successfully ride it, instead of having it pull you under at the last minute. Making lots of small adjustments works better than trying to fix everything all at once
Leo Horoscope
(Jul 23 – Aug 22)
You are observing your life through a new pair of eyes today and what you see is different than ever before. A strange attraction could lure you to take the first step on an incredible journey but don’t worry if you cannot envision a clear path yet. For now, any movement is better than none. Your destination will be revealed to you in due time. Follow your intuition and enjoy the scenery along the way.
Virgo Horoscope
(Aug 23 – Sep 22)
You are growing tired of handling one surprise after another and may be craving a return to a simpler life. Fortunately, the fast pace could finally begin to slow down this week. In the meantime, pursue your interests but don’t wear yourself out. You can’t control anyone else’s emotions, but you can change the way in which you react to unexpected events. Practicing flexibility is your smartest strategy for a while longer.
Libra Horoscope
(Sep 23 – Oct 22)
Your emotions are running all over the place now and they become less manageable as you try to rein them in. Instead of attempting to stop your moods from changing, just go with the flow and express what you feel in the moment. Remember, there’s no need to take action on any single thought today. Let your extreme reactions simmer over the next few days so you can gain clarity about what your heart really wants.
Scorpio Horoscope
(Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Although others may be placing pressure on you to make up your mind today, it’s their sense of urgency and not yours. Don’t accept anyone else’s arbitrary deadline as your own, for it could prompt you to make a foolish decision. Take your time and consider each possible choice. Wait until the reflective Moon enters your mysterious sign this evening to see your path in a brighter light. Follow your heart and don’t look back.
Sagittarius Horoscope
(Nov 22 – Dec 21)
You may have an emotionally detached view of your future and you don’t really care which way the wind blows now as long as you’re moving forward. Paradoxically, your perspective on the past is more complicated. Your strong opinions and desires might be projected on to your personal history, especially if you are retelling stories from your childhood. Reminiscing is a liberating exercise today, giving you a chance to recognize old patterns. Just don’t attempt to rewrite the facts to support your current fantasy, or your sentimental journey will be for naught.
Capricorn Horoscope
(Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Decisions in the workplace don’t come easily now, for you can see both sides of most issues. But just because you can sympathize with multiple points of view doesn’t mean that all choices are equally good. Continue weighing your options today, but put off your final answer until the Moon enters transformational Scorpio later tonight. There’s no stopping you once you know which mountain you want to climb.
Aquarius Horoscope
(Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Complex circumstances pull you off track today so it’s pointless to think you’re going to make noticeable progress toward your goals. However, you can still do amazing things as long as you don’t waste energy fighting the inevitable. Everything is moving fast, so focus on the immediate events in the present moment instead of worrying about the future. By narrowing your attention, you will be able to experience the full power of now.
Pisces Horoscope
(Feb 19 – Mar 20)
There’s currently so much going on in your life that you might want to coast through the day. Of course, you must do a certain amount of work just to get by, but you intuitively know that it makes more sense to conserve your energy today than to expend it. Believe it or not, even more will be required of you soon enough. It’s going to be a whole new ballgame, so you might as well rest up while you can.
Current Moon Phase for May 12th is Waxing Gibbous
Gibbous Moon
(waxing/95% of Full)
Distractions from the outside begin pressing into your world. Analysis is favored, reevaluating all the various factors you are dealing with. It’s a time to process information and effectively integrate your aims with the people in your immediate environment. This is a good time for organizing things. This Moon phase is suited for synthesis: coming up with a practical plan for getting from point A to point B. Adjustment is required.
Daily Cosmic Calendar for Monday, May 12th
The last four New Moons — before the one last night — have all occurred under duress, caused by the conflicts associated with unruly planets. Monday’s Taurus New Moon happened just after Mercury and Mars conducted another skirmish while Saturn attempted to add a dour note to Mercury’s harmony of the spheres. There are at least four sour sky tones that can make today’s melodies sound off-key as Juno forms a frictional, 45-degree tie with Chiron (12:56AM), Pallas makes the same kind of abrasive, 45-degree aspect with Mars (4:01PM), Venus contacts Pallas via an off-kilter, 150-degree liaison (8:31PM), and then the Moon in Taurus makes its monthly opposition to Saturn in Scorpio (8:58PM). While this quartet of naysayers is not nearly as contentious as other four-fold discordant aspects on other days, it could interfere with your ability to utilize the potency of the New Moon to take several giant leaps ahead. Neutralizing the apparent obstacles to forward progress are the monthly Moon-Mercury union in Taurus (7:08AM), the Moon forming a supportive, 60-degree sextile with expansive, optimistic Jupiter (9:57AM), and a splendid, research-promoting trine of 120-degrees between Mercury and Pluto in earth signs (10:31AM). Therefore, despite some of the disagreeable sky patterns occurring throughout the day, you should be able to be a winner when it counts the most and when people are depending on your wise judgment. [Note to readers: All times are calculated for Pacific Daylight Time. Be sure to adjust all times according to your own local time so the alignments noted above will be exact for your location.]
The Witches Magick for May 12th – A Spell To Call Hecate To Aid Your Magick
The Witches Magick for May 12th – A Spell To Call Hecate To Aid Your Magick
This spell calls the Witch-goddess Hecate, goddess of the crossroads and witchcraft, to aid you in your magick. Use this spell just before casting a spell.
You Will Need:
Your voice.
Your intention to cast a spell.
Your love for the Witch-goddess Hecate.
1.) Close your eyes and mentally say:
“I call the goddess Hecate,
To guide my magick on its way.”
2.) The open your eyes and say out loud:
“I Call the goddess Hecate,
To guide my magick on its way.”
3.) Cast your spell.
4.) Thank Hecate for all of her graceful and nourishing help.
Source:
Spells of Magic.com
WOTC Extra – Hecate Chant for Swift Justice
Hecate Chant for Swift Justice
The chant below brings swift justice to those who treat you unfairly. Take caution in using it, though, especially if you have also behaved inappropriately. Hecate’s justice knows no bounds. She sees to it that all involved get precisely what they deserve.
“Hecate, Dark One, hear my plea,
Bring justice now, I ask of Thee!
Right the wrongs that have been done,
Avenge me now, oh Mighty One.
Turn misfortune back to those
Who cause my problems and my woes.
And heap upon them karmic debt
Lest they all too soon forget
Their wrongful actions, words, and deeds
Don’t let them get away scot-free.
Bring them forth from where they hide,
Bring swift justice ~ wield your knife.
Hasten, Dark One; hear my plea ~
Do what it is I ask of Thee.”
Excerpt from
Everyday Magic: Spells & Rituals for Modern Living by Dorothy MorrisonLet’s Talk Witch – Hecate, the Goddess of Witches
Let’s Talk Witch – Hecate, the Goddess of Witches
Today, I want to talk about some of the lessons that Hecate’s temple teaches. In the temple of the Dark Goddess Hecate we learn of what many people call our shadow selves. Hecate is the Goddess of the passage into the underworld, of death, of change, and of our shadows. She stands at the Crossroads of life’s journey and holds a torch (or lantern) and provides for us some understanding of the road ahead. She is often depicted as a bent over hag cloaked in black and hooded. One of her methods of teaching is she removes her hood and reveals to you your own true shadow. This is not meant to frighten or scare you but only so that you may be aware of it and overcome its hideousness. She does this because she knows that only once you have released your shadow and your fear you are then able to move on past her into change. Effectively dying, or leaving your old self behind and immerging transformed into the light. She is not necessarily the goddess of the underworld, but rather the Goddess of slef-transformation.
To apply or acknowledge Hecates lesson we must first identify our shadow selves. We bring back the symbolism of Hecate’s veil. When she lifts her veil what you are seeing is not her but rather your true self. No matter how horrifying it seems. To identify our shadow selves look for what annoys you in other people. What is it that you get so negative about? What about that certain somebody can you completely not stand? This is our shadow selves. From personal experience one of the things I couldn’t stand was certain friends being to controlling. It seemed like no matter what someone did they would always get annoyed. The lesson I learned from this is simple. I was really being to controlling. I was really passing judgment of people that did not deserve it. In truth, we were both being far too judgmental and negative of issues than was necessary. I know now that one of my personal issues that I work to overcome is to not be so judgmental of people.
Don’t get the lesson wrong. I’m not saying that the people who don’t annoy you aren’t the problem, because the qualities that annoy you are still present in them. Hecate’s temple teaches that these qualities are not only in them but in you as well. So yes, that one person on your mind right now is exactly what you are thinking they are, but have you ever stopped to say “Hey, maybe I’m to blame as well”. Accepting the fact that we are not all perfect people and we do make mistakes and have flaws is not only necessary to Hecate’s teachings but also essential. Acceptance and acknowledgement is what Hecate truly teaches at the fundamental core of her lessons. The power to over come our fears and shadows is a spiritually profound phenomenon. However the power to accept ourselves in EVERY aspect of who we are, be it light, dark or in between is where the true enlightenment comes from. Hecate’s lantern is just that, one of enlightenment. The road that she travels on with you may be dark, but she teaches us that from this darkness we learn acceptance and we turn it into enlightenment.
To bring the energy of Hecate’s Lantern into your life, I would suggest several things. Keep a journal someplace where you can write and learn about yourself. Make notes of traits in people that annoy you and see if you can find that issue and flaw within yourself. Every once and a while, sit in a dark room with nothing but a single candle or lantern lighting the room and meditate on the dark side of yourself and thing about how you can acknowledge, accept, and move past it into enlightenment. Learning about the Darkness of ourselves is how we find within us the true light.
Source:
Stories from a Witches Cabinet
Home & Hearth Magick for Monday, May 12th
Home & Hearth Magick for Monday, May 12th
Cast for matters concerning the home, emotions and nurturing
Planetary Influence: The Moon
Household Symbols: Silver platters and bowls, moon shapes
Color: White and silver
Kitchen Spices: Lemon rind and wintergreen
Source: Cottage Witchery Natural Magick for Hearth & Home Author: Ellen Dugan
Monday Is Ruled By The Moon
Monday Is Ruled By The Moon
Archangel: Gabriel
Candle colour: Silver
Incenses: Jasmine or myrrh
Crystals: Moonstone or opal
Use Mondays for spells for fertility, protection especially while traveling, for home and family and to increase psychic and healing powers.
Where possible, work close to any water and, as a bonus, by moonlight.
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