A Little Humor for Your Day – “Why Men Are Just Happier People!”

Why Men Are Just Happier People!

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

They can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell them the truth.

The world is their urinal.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress – $5000; tux rental – $100.

People never stare at their chest when they’re talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

They know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

They can open all their own jars.

They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Their underwear is $6.95 for a six pack.

Everything on their face stays its original color.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

They don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

They almost never have strap problems in public.

They are unable to see wrinkles in their clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

They don’t have to shave below their neck.

Their belly usually hides their big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

They can “do” their nails with a pocketknife.

They have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

They can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

Source

JokesWareHouse.com

Astronomy Picture of the Day – Orion’s Belt and Sword over Teide’s Peak

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer.

2016 March 28

Orion’s Belt and Sword over Teide’s Peak
Image Credit & Copyright: Cesar & Carlos Tejedor

 

Explanation: The southern part of Orion, the famous constellation and mythical hunter, appears quite picturesque posing here over a famous volcano. Located in the Canary Islands off the northwest coast of Africa, the snow-peaked Teide is one of the largest volcanoes on Earth. Lights from a group planning to summit Teide before dawn are visible below the volcano’s peak. In this composite of exposures taken from the same location one night last month, the three iconic belt stars ofOrion are seen just above the peak, while the famous Orion Nebula and the rest of Orion’s sword are visible beyond the volcano’s left slope. Also visible in the long duration sky image are the Horsehead Nebula, seen as a dark indentation on the red emission nebula to the belt’s left, and the Flame Nebula, evident just above and to the right of the Horsehead.

Earth Sky News for March 28th: Moon, Saturn, Mars on March 28-29

Moon, Saturn, Mars on March 28-29

Late night Sunday and before dawn Monday morning, the moon was close to Mars on the sky’s dome. Late night tonight – and before dawn on March 29, 2016 – expect to see this lovely waning gibbous moon closer to the planet Saturn and star Antares, brightest light in constellation Scorpius the Scorpion.

If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, look southward. If you live in the Southern Hemisphere, look closer to overhead.

Mars is the brightest of the three starlike objects, and you’ll have no trouble spotting it. If you don’t already know Antares, whose location within the constellation Scorpius makes it very noticeable, you can distinguish Saturn from Antares by color. Saturn shines steadily with a golden hue, while Antares sparkles more and appears redder in color.

If the bright moon makes it hard to discern color, try looking with binoculars.

Mars, Saturn and Antares will make a triangle in our sky for months to come.

And what of Antares, the bright star near the planets?

This bright red star is considered the Scorpion’s ruby heart. It’s a red supergiantstar, located roughly opposite in the sky from another famous red supergiant star,Betelgeuse in the constellation Orion the Hunter. In skyline, it’s said that the Scorpion and the Hunter never appear in the sky at the same time. And indeed … they don’t! As a rule of thumb, when you see Antares in the sky, Betelgeuse will be below the horizon. Why? Simply because these two stars are located on opposite sides of Earth in the grand space of our Milky Way galaxy.

Still, Antares and Betelgeuse provide an interesting comparison. Both Antares and Betelgeuse can clearly be seen as reddish stars.

Both Antares and Betelgeuse are near the end of their lifetimes. Massive supergiant red stars are expected to explode as supernovae. The supernova could happen tomorrow or millions of years in the future. Astronomers don’t really know for sure. These stars are far enough from us (hundreds of light-years) that the deadly radiation probably won’t harm Earth.

Antares is truly an enormous star, with a radius in excess of 3 Astronomical Units (AU). One AU is the Earth’s average distance from the sun. If by some bit of magic Antares was suddenly substituted for our sun, the surface of the star would extend well past the orbit of Mars!

Antares is classified as an M1 supergiant star. The “M1” designation says that Antares is reddish in color and “cooler” than many other stars. Its surface temperature of 3500 kelvins (about 5800 degrees F.) is in contrast to about 10,000 degrees F. for our sun. Even though Antares’ surface temperature is relatively low, Antares’ tremendous surface area – the surface from which light can escape – makes this star very bright. In fact, Antares approaches 11,000 times the brilliance of our puny sun, a G2 star – but that is just in visible light. When all wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation is considered, Antares pumps out more than 60,000 times the energy of our sun!

Bottom line: The planet near the moon on the morning of March 29, 2016, is Saturn. The star Antares – Heart of the Scorpion in the constellation Scorpius – is also nearby and so is the planet Mars. Antares is a red supergiant star, destined to explode someday.

 

Source

Larry Sessions

Article published on EarthSky

Your Daily Influences for March 28

Your Daily Influences
March 28, 2016

 

Seven of Swords
Plans may fail. Distrust and dishonesty are possible. Success will not be complete.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dagaz
Dagaz represents the fresh light of a new day. You are close to making a breakthrough. You have the will to change whatever you deem necessary. You may see the world with absolute clarity at this time.

 

 

 

The Buckle of Isis
Someone will, or has told a lie about you regarding this aspect and damaged your reputation in ways that may not become apparent to you for many weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Daily Influences represent events and challenges the current day will present for you. They may represent opportunities you should be ready to seize. Or they may forewarn you of problems you may be able to avoid or lessen. Generally it is best to use them as tips to help you manage your day and nothing more.

Your Charm for March 28th is Aries The Ram

Your Charm for Today

Today’s Meaning:
This aspect of your life will be strongly influenced by a person who is adventurous, energetic, pioneering, courageous, enthusiastic, confident, dynamic and quick-witted. This person is probably somone you already know and respect.

General Description:
First sign of the Zodiac, March 21st to April 20th. Mars the ruling planet, and Iron the correct metal. Those born under the influence of Aries were supposed to be brave, ambitious, optimistic, confident, and fond of adventure. The Aries gems are the Diamond, Jasper, and blood stone. The Diamond was always regarded with much veneration in olden times, and was worn to make its wearer bold and daring. Napoleon Bonaparte had the celebrated Regent or Pitt Diamond (136 carats, valued at about 500,000 lbs) set in the hilt of his sword. At one time it was believed that the wearing of very large diamonds brought ill-luck and misfortune on the wearer.

Shuffling the Cards, Your Past, Present & Future Reading for March 28th

Your Past, Present & Future Reading for Today

 

Past Influence whose impact on your life is waning.

The Hawk

High flying and courageous Hawk uses his sharp vision to see all aspects of the world below him in minute detail. He is gifted at taking in all he sees and quickly creating a powerful plan of action. The Hawk suggests that while a broad view of the situation should be taken, the details cannot be overlooked. The Hawk calls for authoritative action based upon a thorough understanding of the circumstances.

 

 

 

 
Present Influence whose impact on your life is very strong.

Chance

The Chance card denotes a period in which taking risks may produce positive results. This doesn’t mean head off to a casino with your life’s savings! What is suggested is that you should make gains by taking a well calculated risk. For the power of Chance to be fully realized it is essential that you pick your risk carefully, move forward with conviction, and above all else don’t get greedy!

 

 

 

 

 

Future influence whose impact on your life is growing and will be very strong in the future.

Wisdom

A very very few of us are fortunate to be born wise. For most of us our Wisdom evolves, grows as we move through life gathering experience and knowledge. Wisdom denotes your thoughts and feelings derived from the melding of your life experiences with all that you have learned. Our Wisdom can get us through the difficult moments in our lives as well as provide the mental and spiritual tools we need to succeed.

Your Ancient Symbol Card for March 28th is Venus

Your Ancient Symbol Card for Today

Venus

 

Venus represents those qualities we commonly associate with the female/yin persona. Venus traits include fertility and the drive to create, unblemished beauty, love, passion, and togetherness. The occurrence of Venus denotes the dominating presence or need of the qualities listed above. While often very subtle, Venetian influences may have a negative impact unless they are balanced with an influence that can temper the drive of Venus.

As a daily card, Venus suggest you should allow your more feminine traits to guide your actions through this period. Subtlety, efforts to bring people together and allowing your creativity to run free are likely to serve you well at this time. However, like Mars, the powers of Venus are very strong and can do more damage than good if not balanced by other influences.

Your Daily Witches Rune for March 28th is The Ear of Corn

 

Your Witches Rune

The Ear of Corn

Meaning: This rune represents abundance, success and happiness. This is considered a lucky rune and if leading, it is very positive about your query, whether the query is about finance, business, friendship, partnership or spirituality. In conjunction with the Rings, it indicates a happy and prosperous marriage. With the Sun, it means success in your career, and with Waves, success abroad.

Your Crowley Thoth Tarot Card for March 28th is The Chariot

Your Crowley Thoth Tarot Card for Today

The Chariot



The Chariot is the representation of Victory and the personality traits required to attain victory. The Chariot indicates self-awareness and control. Courage—the ability to overcome fear and confront the unknown head on–is a primary ingredient of any victorious campaign and is denoted by the Chariot. So too is force of will. Often success is as much the product of will power and a refusal to surrender as it is anything else. The Chariot also represents the healthy personality of someone who believes in themselves; someone who can take control of the situation and bring events to a positive end. His successes come in competition with others.

Unlocking Secrets with Tarot

 

 

 

 

Unlocking Secrets with Tarot

The Tarot guides you toward truth

By Tarotcom Staff  Tarot

 

Article provided by AskNow

Are important secrets about your future, past and present life lurking in the shadows? Find out what they are quickly and easily with the help of the Tarot!

The deck of Tarot is an incredible tool, which can shed light onto the darkest corners of your life. These amazing cards make it possible to illuminate and bring to light what you have never been able to see before.

What do you want to know? Does something irk you but you can not seem to find the source? Are you ready to shake that nagging suspicion that something is not quite right under the surface. Unseen secrets can be uncovered by using the all powerful Tarot.

This could be your opportunity to no longer feel afraid to the unknown. It is not so hard to figure out what is really happening in your life. The missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle may be just the flip of a card away.

Listen to your gut and ask yourself a difficult question. Is there a person or people in your life who you suspect of keeping secrets from you? Aren’t you tired of sorting through shady behavior, half-truths, deception and disloyal words and actions for evidence and kernels of truth?

Consult the Tarot for honest answers. Remove the wool from your eyes so that you can see what your situation really is like and become more in tune with the reality around you. You need to know the whole story, not just the version others want you to know.

When it comes to knowing what is up in your world, you are not just left to your own devices. No one can be everywhere, all the time. Even with today’s modern technology, the Tarot is still the best private investigator. Why? Agendas, motivations and plans become clear and easy to spot with the cards.

With the Tarot acting as a skeleton key to the closet that holds all the secrets in your life, you never have to worry, wonder or feel powerless against the unseen energies of the universe. Like a honing device, the Tarot can help pinpoint the true, honest aspects of your concerns so that you can focus on solutions.

Does anyone in your life speak to you as though they are censoring what they say? When they share things with you does it sound as though they are using security software for their words? This is a red flag indicating a hidden wealth of secrets, carefully woven into a web of exclusion.

When you consult with the Tarot you have a chance to get the most privileged information about the people in your life: employer/employees, friends, family, lover, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, landlord, accountant, roommate and anyone else who might be keeping an impactful secret from you!

Who knows what vital tidbits you can get your hands on with the enlightenment of the Tarot? Just imagine having the ability to peer into the secrets you deserve to know! Ask the Tarot about your job, your love life or anything else that is on your mind.

Are they being faithful to you or are they cheating? Are you about to get a promotion or get fired? Are your kids telling you everything you need to know in order to keep them safe? Has an ex been thinking or talking secretively about you?

Furthermore, hard facts about your secret life may be on the verge of coming out. Find out who knows what! All the effort you have taken to skirt around the truth for fear of consequences, judgment or loss may be unearthed during a Tarot card reading. Be prepared to both accept and deliver full disclosure.

How does the Tarot reveal the concealed murky depths? Like a Cryptologist decoding an encrypted message, a Tarot card expert is able to receive messages from these ancient cards so you can put an end confusion and mysteries with trustworthy answers. Even the most enigmatic, classified and confidential events are not stealthy enough to hide from a covert operations specialist like the Tarot.

No matter whether they are trying to keep secrets from you because they love you and think it is best for you to be left in the dark on a particular matter or because they are wishing you ill-will or want to put you at a disadvantage in life, the fact of the matter is they are still hiding a secret from you.

Is whispering in the other room and their hush-hush attitude got your sixth sense tingling? Is cloak and dagger behavior leading you to wonder what is so private and under wraps? It is human nature to be curious!

It is time to expose the truth and unlock the answers. Ask and you shall know with the power of the Tarot!

 

Part of the Daily Insight Group