I Remember My Roots
Author: Morgan Tzaddi
I tread a fine line I think. Between adulthood and childhood, I mean. I’m 22 years old so I’ve been an adult for four years by society’s standards. I’ve been a Witch for six years. If you’ll notice, there is an overlap of two very scattered, very confusing, very arduous years of study.
It was apparent to me during childhood and seems to be the case even now that once the age of majority is reached, people tend to put on their rose colored glasses in looking back over their childhood. They don their ‘forgetful cap’. Having realized what seems to be a gap in the actuality of growing up and what is remembered during my childhood has helped me to retain the memories of the hardships of being a minor. It is from this position, looking back over a very subjective, short bridge into my minority that I shake a finger at us all.
I stumbled across Witchcraft at the formidable age of fifteen. One fateful day, I ran across an encyclopedia of Witchcraft and I was off! I cracked books and scanned bbses and sparsely spread web pages and became further involved, I became even more convinced I needed some help sorting through it. Everything contradicted the next, oaths of secrecy be damned! Personal books of shadows made public were fascinating but might as well have been written in another language for all it meant to me.
I lived with my father – who although he wasn’t the most available parent in the world was certainly available enough to make known that no daughter of HIS would fancy herself a Witch! I kept photo copies and notes in a three ring binder under lock and key in a chest at the bottom of my closet. I worked a job on weekends that afforded me minimal spending money and finally one day, I sent off for ‘To Ride a Silver Broomstick’ by Silver RavenWolf. I bought it from an online vendor at a time when shopping online was anything BUT mainstream or regulated. The check for the book went through my bank account containing my meager savings, but the book never arrived. I digress.
I made a few ‘Witch’ friends in my age group. They all more closely resembled the typical teen Witch image though. They wanted the glitz and glamour. I, on the other hand, wanted to feed that hunger that gnawed through my very core. Even with the internet at such a young stage in its life, the computer was the only way to make contact with folks outside of my realm. I e-mailed ‘elders’, I frequented bbses, I grasped past the shallowness of the “Glamour Witch” teens I knew for real contacts. I consistently ran into a brick wall. I’m too young. I’m only fifteen… sixteen…. seventeen.
So now I’m an adult. That magickal age of majority has long since been reached. Do I see the mysterious sense behind not helping out someone who hasn’t reached that age of magick on the mundane plane yet? No. I feel like I starved during those years. I feel like someone could have helped.
The Christian church wasn’t sued when they recruited me into their youth department. I never even asked for their religion and it was spooned down my throat. I dare say the courts would have laughed in my father’s face had a case been brought against the Baptist church who invited me to Bible School without his consent.
So, I stumbled through, rather well, if I might say so myself. In the eyes of a teen seeker, I am an ‘experienced’ Witch now. A mysterious magickal person full of arcane knowledge and crafty thoughts. That’s how I saw the mildly experienced not so many years ago. I can assure you that’s how they see us now.
Perhaps, you say, it’s not such an issue these days. Teens have access to countless sources that we have catered to them. They have kits, they have books, and they have web pages. Let them seek elsewhere!
Let’s talk about these ‘sources’. Granted, some of them are genuinely fine, complete, upstanding sources but I draw a line in the sand here. These days, we have ‘Witchcraft in a Box’ and books that take even the most esoteric concepts and spell it out in elementary words that get the point across but don’t begin to relay the true essence of the mystery that is the subject. It’s insulting. Rather than take the risk of teaching them, we spoon feed them a main-streamed, over commercialized, well worn copy of what should be a mystery religion.
If you want to see an example of the outcome, search the net. Go to your favorite search engine and search for ‘witchcraft pagan’. Notice how many web pages quote the very same popular passages from the same books and authors. See just how many web pages have nothing genuine or original to say about their spiritual path. Barring the creatively challenged folks in that group (it happens to all of us), these people are one-book wonders! These people are a product of what we call ‘training’ these days. Can you imagine an entire generation of Witches that know nothing but these popular sources? Who have never had the advantage of guidance and knowledge that only a teacher can give? Can you imagine trying to base your spiritual path upon what these web pages are sparsely trying to convey?
If our religion has a frontier, certainly this is it. We fight so hard as a community to be accepted along with the ‘Good ‘Ole Boys’ – to ‘roll with the Big Dogs’ but yet we shy away from guiding our next generation because we fear the very thing we rebel against. Being judged unjustly. The next generation IS our future. If we end up with a generation of one-book wonders who really believe that popular authors are the forefathers of our religion, I don’t want to be able to point the finger at myself.
Goddess knows I don’t have the time to be a full time teacher so it’s doubtful I would take someone under my wing but if someone has a question, I will answer it. If I feel I should expound on a subject, I will. I don’t ask their age. I give information as I feel lead to give it according to Spirit. If I’m to give them knowledge and mundane action is taken against me, I did as Spirit directed and all is as it should be. I haven’t forgotten where I came from and in looking forward to where I’m going, I won’t forget those just barely putting their feet upon the path beside me.
Unnecessary martyr? Necessary. The mundane world has never held my final word and it’s laws will not bind my greater path. If it helps to kindle or build the flame of someone else’s spirit, young or old, then Onward, Pagan soldier! 🙂