*Joke Alert* *Joke Alert* Mail Order Witchcraft

Last time, I posted this I caught all types of grief. No one realized it was a joke. That’s why all the “alerts!”

Mail Order Witchcraft

National Enquirer runs my advertisements Even though last week the revoked my license Hexes and Love Spells, for $9.95 It’s this kind of garbage that keeps me alive

(Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot)

I’ll sell you crosses and religious icons I buy them wholesale, I get them in Taiwan Copy my spells from off bathroom walls Write them in Latin, my fans are enthralled

Mail Order Witchcraft, it’s a living, and I’m doing well I claim tax exemption because of a religion and then I just sell, sell, sell

)O( )O( )O( )O( )O(

Crowley’s the author of my favorite spell For summoning demons up out of Hell Wasn’t poetic, I changed it a pinch… Last one to use it has not been seen since

(Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot)

I’ve written a book about spells and their uses Catching familiars in spell-woven nooses Changing your husband into a small pup It’s all quite authentic, I made it all up

Mail Order Witchcraft, it’s a living, and writing is not hard I’ve written booklets and pamphlets and novels, I’m thinking of greeting cards

)O( )O( )O( )O( )O(

I’m quite advanced, I’ve even made Elder Though at the seminar they made us swelter Took me three days but I got my degree For a nominal fee you can get yours from me

(Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot, Doot-Doot-Doot)

My Wiccan acquaintances cause a sensation Claiming that I’ve ruined their reputation I think that’s nonsense, just jealous I fear What I learned in three days has taken them years

Mail Order Witchcraft, it’s a living, my clientele is large I’ll accept cash, money order or Visa, I even take Master Charge

3 thoughts on “*Joke Alert* *Joke Alert* Mail Order Witchcraft

    1. Thank goodness you have a sense of humor. The last time I caught nine kinds of hell from posting it. I thought it was cute but that time apparently I was the only one.


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