A Little Humor for Your Day – Smart Retorts

SMART RETORTS

  • I clean house every other day. Today is the other day! So this isn’t Home Sweet Home… Adjust!
  • Ring bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!
  • If you write in the dust, please don’t date it!
  • I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!
  • My house was clean last week. Too bad you missed it!
  • A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.
  • I came. I saw. I decided to order take out.
  • If you don’t like my standards of cooking…lower your standards.
  • Apology. Although you’ll find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse. It doesn’t always look like this. Some days it’s even worse.
  • A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious. Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!!
  • If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.
  • A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  • Help keep the kitchen clean. Eat out.
  • My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines.
  • Don’t pick up that mess!!! It’s Saturday…relax and have a great day!
  • Don’t tell me that…I shouldn’t have Arachnophobia? I’ve enjoyed my fear so much and I also have that fear of combustibles…which is such a pleasure for me…it takes a lot of my time so I don’t have to do the things I really need to do or think about anything else…
  • And finally my kitchen is complete, I’ve turned my oven into a flower pot!

anonymous

Oh My Aging Funny Bone