Confessions of a Church Going Witch
Author: Leandra Blue
I grew up in the south. Right smack dab in the middle of the “Bible belt”. Christianity was just assumed. I mean, the second question you get asked when meeting someone new is, “Where do you go to church?” My family didn’t go to church. Religion and church was never really something that was discussed in my house. But as I got older, I did go. All of my friends went to church, so when I stayed over, I did as well. I went quite a bit, in fact.
However as often as I went, I was never comfortable. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. I tried. I really did, because not going or admitting that you didn’t believe was to commit social suicide. And no self-respecting small-town teenager would do that.
Finally, I went away to college. There I began experimenting. Oh, not with drugs, I was nowhere near that daring, but with religion. My grandpa had once told me, “There are so many different religions out there, but only one of them can be the true right one.“ I was determined to find that right one.
At first, I was pretty sure I was, in fact, Christian. I just didn’t know what kind. But as I researched deeper and learned more, I was no longer certain of that fact. I took several religious studies courses, but soon grew bored, as they concentrated mainly on Judeo-Christian religions with a couple doses of Hinduism and Buddhism thrown in.
Religioustolerance.org became the base of my religious wandering. It gave a great concise rundown on every religion I had ever heard of, plus many, many more that I hadn’t. I would pick one, read about it and research from there.
The problem with finding the “right” religion was the more I learned about all these different religions, I found something beautiful and resonate in each that just made me lean back and smile and say, “Yes, yes, yes.” But then there was always also something that would make me shake my head and wonder, “Why? I just don’t get it.”
For a short time, I flirted with Baha’i, an offshoot of Islam that stresses the equality of men and women and the underlying unity of all the world’s major religions. However, it also shuns politics and, like many others, homosexuality. While I’m not that crazy about politics, I can’t help but wonder, why are homosexuals always picked on and left out? Why does it matter so much the sex of the person you love? One thing this journey was hammering into my head and heart was tolerance. I was looking for a religion that supported my tolerant views towards other’s lifestyles.
Finally, my research brought me to Wicca/Witchcraft. I say it like that because that’s how the link to this particular section was presented. I remember hesitating to even click on the link, thinking “Magic? What, like abracadabra?” and “Witchcraft? What, like bubbling cauldrons, pointy hats, and black cats?”
I had waited so long to research this religion in part because it started with a “W” and was therefore towards the end of the list, but also because of preconceived notions linking Witchcraft and Satanism. And while I no longer considered myself Christian, the idea of Satanism gave me serious pause.
What I found inside spoke to me like no other had before. I found myself clicking on every website I could find, and buying several books on the subject. One of the main things that drew me in was it allowed me allowed me to keep my tolerant beliefs. There is no ostracizing someone because of their sexual preferences or their personal or religious beliefs.
I spent a lot of time sitting back and chanting, “Yes, yes, yes, YES!” After months and months of research, I realized that while my original journey was over, a new one had begun. That was the first time I ever called myself a Witch.
Okay, okay, I know now you’re saying wait a minute, the title promised a story about a church going Witch. What happened to that? I’m getting there, I promise.
After college, I met the man who would soon become my husband. He was on his own spiritual journey, trying to find not only his spirituality, but trying to re-find himself. It was a dark time for him, and he had moved completely away from his Christian religion, for reasons that were very different from my own. Over the years that we have been together, my husband has grown so much as a man and as a spiritual human being.
When he first learned that I was a Witch, he sputtered a bit, asking about blood sacrifices and black masses.
I said, “Wow, man, you’ve been watching waaay to much TV.”
He came to accept my religion and even join in, sometimes helping energize candles for candle spells. He has flirted a bit with the idea of becoming Wiccan, as a lot of it does appeal to him. We’ve also researched Shamanism, as he has some Cherokee blood. But I don’t think he has ever completely turned away from Christianity. He, like me, is able to see the value and validity of other religions.
Recently, my husband began attending church. At first, I was shocked. “Honey, seriously, you can tell me. Are you becoming a Christian?” He just smiles and says maybe. But I see a new kind of peace around him, and that makes me so happy for him. So I decided to take the next step and support him as he has supported me.
So here it comes, the moment you have been waiting for. Drum roll please… This Witch goes to church! *gasp* I really only go about once a month, and you’ll definitely find me there on potluck Sundays. I’ll never turndown a good meal, no matter what religion it comes from!
Church has had an interesting effect on me. It actually helps me reaffirm my faith.
First and foremost, my husband going to church has brought Wicca back to the center of my consciousness. The past couple of years, I’ve let my religion fall to the wayside. I’ve concentrated on caring for my son, working, cooking, paying bills, household chores, you know, everyday life.
I was shocked to realize how far off to the side I’ve pushed my religion. It has literally been years since I have opened a circle, called the quarters and communed with the god and goddess. Oh, I’ve been vaguely active, sort of, but nowhere near as much as I should be. My husband’s new found faith has brought mine back into focus.
It has also helped me reaffirm my beliefs about individual ideals. My husband happily admits that there are things about Christianity and ideas the pastor preaches that he does not agree with or believe in. But he is able to take the things he does like and be happy with that. He just ignores the rest. This is something I could never do.
In fact, church a few weeks ago went something like this: After listening to the pastor give a particularly interesting and simplified version of evolution, designed to prove creationism, I just couldn’t help myself. I sidled closer to my husband.
“But that’s not really what that…”, I whispered
“Sshhh”, my husband whispered back.
“But, really, that’s not…”
“I know, baby, I know” he replied patting my hand.
“Will you help me set up my alter for Samhain when we get home?”
“Of course, ssshhh…”
It’s interesting the many references to life and circles we have. There is the ‘circle of life’ and ‘what goes around, comes around’, to mention but a few. Most eastern cultures view time and life not as a straight line, but as a circle looping endlessly round and round. I feel as though I have come full circle in my spiritual journey, away from church and, oddly enough, back again.
I am remembering exactly what drew me to the craft in the first place: tolerance. Tolerance for others regardless of their background, ethnicity, sexual preference or religious beliefs.
It’s just one of the many, many things that makes my religion so beautiful.
Witches Of The Craft® 