There was an interesting comment in the back and I figured when I started talking about the Goddess I would open up a can of worms. It’s not a bad comment or a rude comment but we being humans are curious and this individual was curious. They wanted to know if I had seen the Goddess what did she look like, can you describe her, they would like to know.
Yes, I can describe her and I can also describe the circumstances leading up to my seeing her. I can also describe how she healed me and made me whole again. I hope you are ready for a boring story up to the point where I do meet the Goddess. But let me say one thing, I can describe to you how the Goddess looked and appeared to me but I don’t believe you will see her the same way. We all have our own set of beliefs on how the Divine looks. We grew up with that embedded in our brains. You could have been influenced by your parents, if you are coming to the Craft from another religion, you could have been influenced by that religion. I sincerely believe that no two people will see the Divine in the same matter or form. We all have a preconceived idea of what the Divine looks like. For the men, the Divine might not appear to them as female instead the Divine might appear to them as a man. No matter how many times I tell you my story, you will never see the Divine as I did. I am not saying I am special or anything like that, I am going back to the preconceived idea of how the DIvine would look and appear. Is she/he real? Very much so.
Now on with my boring story……I believe everyone knows I have an all metal back. I don’t know what I had done or how it had even happened, but I had a very large chunk of bone floating in my back. That fragment had floated over to my spinal cord. I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t move the lower part of my body. My mouth still worked because I has in horrible pain. The bone was in a very unusual spot. If they operated, I might not ever walk again. If they left it, it was for sure I would never walk again. I would live in torment and pain the rest of my life. I have been active all my life and the thought of being in a wheel chair, killed me. The pain was getting more and more unbearable and I started to pray for the Goddess to take me home. Let me die, I didn’t want to live if the life I faced was to be my new reality. I repeated it over and over again, let me die, please, let me die. The pain medicine wasn’t working and I made my mind up I was going to be a vegetable. I passed out from the pain while I was being put on an MRI table. I don’t know if I died or what happened. All I remember is the darkest, nothing but sheer black. It was as if I was floating, just gently drifting along, so peaceful. As I slowly drifted along, the pain started to ease and I thought I had got my wish to die. I do remember seeing blue such as in the sky. Then out of the corner of my left eye I could see a hug tree, till this day I assume it is the World Tree. In front of the tree appeared a beautiful lady. She had a blue flowing gown on, one which the end of it went on and on forever floating and swaying in the sky. She had long blonde hair, some of it was braided and from around her head was rays or more like an aura shining brightly. Her skin was glowing, she looked like she had star dust glistening on her face. She was purely magickal and you could feel her power. It was her power of love I felt. I tried to speak but I couldn’t. She put her long, slender fingers to her lips and made the hush sign. I had so many questions but I couldn’t speak. But she did speak and it was as if she read my mind. She told me she was my Divine Mother. My pain had ended and I would now be at peace. I thought I had died but she told me no, it wasn’t my time. I would be sent back and I was to remember the gift she had given me and remember the commitment I had made to her. I remember her gently gliding her hands over my eyes and I drifted off to sleep. When I woke, the doctors has been trying to revive me. So apparently I did pass. I woke with tears streaming down my face. I didn’t want to leave her. Her essence was the purest form of love anyone come ever feel. The safety and comfort of just being in her presence, why would anyone want to come back?
After all the drama had settled down, the doctors brought in a portable X-ray and took images of where the bone fragment was suppose to be. I thought something strange because they brought in another one. The doctors compared the before and after images of my spinal column, there was no fragment to be found. It was gone. It wasn’t a small fragment either, it was one big enough that had to be removed by surgery or by other means. No scar could be found, no fragment, no nothing. How do you explain that? I believe some might call it a miracle. I call it being healed by the Goddess’ good graces and love for me.
What I described was my own personal experience. When your time comes, you will have a totally different experience. The Divine does not want to scare us, that is why they appear to us in images we are familiar with. I had imagined what the Goddess would look like since I was a child and she appeared to me in that image. It was an image I was familiar with and associated with love, kindness and goodness.
I know certain religions has images that are their image of the Divine. Everyone imagines their Divine looking one way. The Divine is the Divine and will appear to us in any form they like. The Goddess shaped and formed us our of star dust in their image. Deep in our subconcious, we recognize these Divine Beings as being just that, Divine. But the seed for us to recognize them was planted a very long time ago.
I can’t convince anyone of their being a Higher Power than ourselves. All I know and can tell is what I experienced. Now if you want to talk about seeing my Deity, that might take a while.
Lady of the Abyss