A Little Humor For Your Day – ’21 Reasons Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex, lol!’

Twenty Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex

1) You can GET chocolate.

2) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

3) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

4) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

5) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.

6) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won’t mind.

7) The word “commitment” doesn’t scare off chocolate.

8) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.

10) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.

11) You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.

14) With chocolate there’s no need to fake it.

15) Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant.

16) You can have chocolate at anytime of the month.

17) Good chocolate is easy to find.

18) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

19) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.

20) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.

21) With chocolate size doesn’t matter.

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A Little Humor for Your Day – ‘Just Unearthed, THE Chocolate Files’

Chocolate File

… Any religion that rejects chocolate worships a false god.
… Chocoholic:  Blood Type M&M Positive!
… Chocolate, champagne, a large waterbed, and thou…
… Chocolate cures all.
… Chocolate is self-consecrating.
… Chocolate is serious business!
… Chocolate not found: (C)ry (W)himper (D)espair?
… Dark chocolate at the North; milk chocolate at the West!
… I love a woman with chocolate on her breath.
… I have a chocolate chip in MY computer.
… It’s Saturday?  Are you alive or did they drown you in Hershey’s?
… Lead me not into temptation…unless it’s chocolate!!!
… New and Improved…Now in chocolate and leather flavors.
… No no no, chocolate goes in the East.  Massage oil goes in the West!
… Only one thing can top good sex:  Chocolate sauce.
… Philosophy is just a set of rules for people without chocolate!
… Rule 5: Everyone must buy the moderator chocolate.
… Take with sufficient quantity of chocolate.
… This is your brain. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CHOCOLATE!
… Unless it affects the price of chocolate, it has no bearing on my life.
… Upload some chocolate and nobody gets hurt!
… What’s my blood type?  …Hershey’s!
… Wrappers are futile.  Chocolate will be assimilated.

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Daily Feng Shui Tip for Nov. 7: ‘Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day

Today’s ‘Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day’ is one that I can really wrap my head around. After all, dark and sweet chocolate has been often called ‘the food of the gods.’ And dark chocolate is ranked as a superfood. Native to South America, the trees of this delicious delight were brought to Mexico by the Mayans before being cultivated by the Aztec and Toltec civilizations. Those cultures believed that chocolate in any form can be used to increase the ability to give and receive love and to help with money concerns. And then we have almonds. Old wives’ tales tell that eating five almonds before drinking alcohol can prevent intoxication. Middle Eastern cultures use almonds to cure insomnia while nursing mothers around the world have been told that eating almonds can increase lactation, reduce headaches and guard against the evil eye. And then there was Edgar Cayce, the famous ‘Sleeping Psychic,’ who maintained that simply eating three whole fresh almonds a day could keep cancer and other diseases at bay. So whether you add some almonds to your chocolate or the other way around — enjoy!

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com