A Warm Refuge
by Madisyn Taylor
Our best friends are a warm refuge in which we feel free to be fully ourselves.
By the time we reach adulthood, many of us have had the good fortune to have at least one best friend. If we have moved around or changed our life situation repeatedly, we may be lucky enough to have had several. The best friend relationship is often our earliest intimate peer relationship, and it can be a source of great warmth and connection throughout our lives. The details of best friendship change as we grow up and grow older, but the heart of it remains the same. Our best friends are a warm refuge in which we feel free to be fully ourselves, to share our deepest secrets, to rest when we are tired, to celebrate when we are happy—a place in which we feel utterly welcome to give and receive that most precious of all gifts, love.
Most intimate relationships hit bumps from time to time, and one of the hallmarks of an enduring best friendship is its ability to ride out the turbulence and remain intact even as it faces changes. Our best friends are those who manage to love us through all of our transitions, as we do the same for them. We find ways to embrace and appreciate the differences that set us apart and offer love and support no matter what. We allow each other to be exactly as we are at a given moment, even as we allow each other to change over time. In this way, best friends sometimes feel like family. We know we will stick together regardless of where our individual paths lead.
We may be on the phone with our best friends every day, or we may not have spoken for a year, yet we know that our bond will be strong and immediate when we do connect. This bond ties us together even when we are apart and draws us blissfully back into the warm refuge of each other’s company when our paths bring us together again.
Hey, it’s Saturday! I am like everyone else. I don’t like to work anymore than I have to on Saturdays, lol! So I thought what should I do, what should I do??? Hmm, share one of my favorite quotes with you. It is about friendship and it is oh, so true! I hope you enjoy it.
Have a great weekend, my loves!
“Making a thousand friends a year is not a miracle.
The miracle is to make a friend who stands by you
for a thousand years.”
Elder’s Meditation of the Day April 13
“Once you make a friend, a friend never leaves you, even to death. So a friend is really hard to find.”
–Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA
Once, an Elder told me he made a decision to be my friend. He said this friendship wasn’t based on my behavior or how I acted; he said the friendship was based on his decision. He decided to be my friend. This friendship has happened like he said. Even if I don’t see him for a long time, or if I get mad at him, he has never changed his decision. This is true friendship.
Great Spirit, I’m glad you are this kind of Friend.
August 12 – Daily Feast
Time and space mean nothing to friends. They find each other again and again, to share the things that are important – and a great many things that are ordinary, everyday events. Tsu na li I, friends or close ones, forgive us whether we deserve it or not. They know how easy it is to get off center. But they have high hopes for us – maybe even higher than we have for ourselves. We are at our best when someone chooses to be that kind of friend, to make allowances for our lapses of memory – for no other reason than precious, loyal friendship. It is a quiet, peaceful and dear relationship that never grows old and never ends. Being such a friend is a sweet and blessed responsibility.
~ The Great Spirit has smiled upon us and made us glad. ~
‘A Cherokee Feast of Days’, by Joyce Sequichie Hifler