Laugh-A-Day for Sept. 18: You might be a redneck if…

You might be a redneck if…

You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade.

You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

Your brother-in-law is your uncle.

You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You go to the family reunion to pick up women.

Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You can’t tell what color your car is because of the dirt.

I’ve Learned

I’ve Learned

  • I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
  • I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
  • I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.
  • I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”
  • I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
  • I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
  • I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
  • I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
  • I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
  • People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
  • I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.
  • I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Oh, My Aging Funny Bone