A Little Humor for Your Day – “Psychic Advice”

Psychic Advice

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.

His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled, “This is great!

“Will I meet her at a party?” he croaks.

“No,” says the psychic, “in biology class.”

Source

JokesWarehouse.com

Astronomy Picture of the Day – A Transit of Mercury

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer.

2016 May 12

A Transit of Mercury
Image Credit & Copyright: Howard Brown-Greaves

 

Explanation: On May 9, the diminutive disk of Mercury spent about seven and a half hours crossing in front of the Sun as viewed from the general vicinity of Earth. It was the second of 14 transits of the Solar System’s innermost planet in the21st century. Captured from Fulham, London, England, planet Earth the tiny silhouette shares the enormous solar disk with prominences, filaments, and active regions in this sharp image. But Mercury’s round disk (left of center) appears to be the only dark spot, despite the planet-sized sunspots scattered across the Sun. Made with an H-alpha filter that narrowly transmits the red light from hydrogen atoms, the image emphasizes the chromosphere, stretching above the photosphere or normally visible solar surface. In H-alpha pictures of the chromosphere, normally dark sunspot regions are dominated by bright splotches called plages.

The Planets Today: Jupiter Direct

 

 

 

 

 

Jupiter Direct

Have your cupcake and eat it, too

Jupiter, like every planet, flows in and out of direct and retrograde motion. While certain planets (Mercury, Venus or Mars) tend to disrupt our vibe here on Earth with great fanfare when out of phase, Jupiter has a more subtle effect. Still, it can be just as potent.

As the energy of this giant ball of blessings turns inward for the duration of the retrograde (about four months per year) I see this as an extra special gift. Even if you feel teased by the universe, if used correctly, the Jupiter Retrograde months can help you solidify your inner conviction, faith and optimism for a brighter world and future, both personally and collectively. We all get to cash in on this amazing gift as soon as Jupiter turns direct. Lucky us!

Use Jupiter Direct’s power wisely

Here’s an analogy that might help you understand the significance of Jupiter’s power when he turns direct on May 9, 2016 — and how to make sure you use it wisely.

Think of Jupiter as your favorite cupcake. You haven’t had this treat in ages and the craving, when you see the cupcake in front of you, is intense. You know that if only you could take a bite out of it, every inch of you would fill with joy.

This cupcake catches your eye as you walk past the bakery because there are dozens displayed, sumptuously, in the window.  Your mouth begins to water and you feel yourself turning towards the door to enter the bakery. You simply must indulge.

But then, your imminent cupcake heaven is interrupted when your hand twists to open the door and is met with resistance. It’s locked.

The door represents the Jupiter Station.

When it’s locked, of course, Jupiter is retrograde. You see the cupcakes displayed in the window, but all you can do is press your nose against the glass and dream about them. This initial disappointment forces you to turn the Jupiter energy inward. You meditate about how much better you and the world might be once you can enjoy the yummylicious treat.

Days turn into weeks and the bakery never opens. You discover that the owners took an extended vacation to the Mediterranean and there are no more cupcakes to gawk at in the window. But there they remain, tattooed inside your mind’s eye.

Make your own cupcakes

Jupiter Retrograde begins to work his magic when your vision becomes so intense for that cupcake that you consider whether you have the capacity to make them yourself. Do you? You sit and wonder.  As you look deep within for the answers (the point of Jupiter retrograde) you finally realize that yes, you believe enough in yourself to at least try. You have faith.

You spend another few weeks in solitude experimenting with ingredients and recipes until you hit the jackpot. When the day finally arrives and you’re staring at luscious cupcakes made in your very own kitchen, with your bare hands and positive mind, the moment is pure heaven. Tasting those cupcakes is the most incredible gift you’ve ever given yourself.

That day, Jupiter turns direct.

You pass by the bakery later that afternoon and notice that cupcakes have filled the window again. They’re open! Ahhh, but your craving is gone.  Still, you want to see what happens if you open the door. Much to your delight, you glide right into the store and the owner greets you with a wide smile.

“Would you like to sample one of our signature cupcakes?”

You consider for a moment and then decline. “Thank you so much, but I’ve had my fill. While you were away I had such a craving for your cupcakes that I decided to create my own recipe. I must say, they are incredible. Everyone who has tasted them says they’re the best they’ve ever had.”

The store owner’s eyes twinkle with interest. “You don’t say? Well, I have a proposition for you, my friend. Would you like to sell me the recipe for your amazing cupcake? We’ve been looking for something new and tasty to offer our customers.”

Your wheels begin to turn and you accept the offer.

Within a month of Jupiter turning direct, your cupcakes are a best-seller. You develop new recipes that continue to please even the most discriminating cupcake palette. Sales at the bakery have doubled. The owner offers to make you a partner and you accept.

You remember those darker months when Jupiter was retrograde and all you wanted was a cupcake that seemed out of reach. You recall how just as soon as you started to have faith in yourself and your inner gifts, everything began to fall into place. The answers were inside of you all along … you just had to believe.

Life is good, my friends, life is very good. After all, Jupiter is finally direct. So go ahead, have your cupcake and eat it too.

 

Part of the Daily Insight Group

Your Daily Influences for May 12

Your Daily Influences
May 12, 2016

 

Seven of Swords
Plans may fail. Distrust and dishonesty are possible. Success will not be complete.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Berkano
Berkano is the Rune of birth and rebirth. This may symbolize a time when you are capable of great personal growth. Love may be in the air as well.

 

 

 

 

Libra the Balance
This aspect of your life will be strongly influenced by a person who is diplomaitic, urbane, romantic, charming, easygoing, sociable, idealistic and peaceable. This person is someone you know socially.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Daily Influences represent events and challenges the current day will present for you. They may represent opportunities you should be ready to seize. Or they may forewarn you of problems you may be able to avoid or lessen. Generally it is best to use them as tips to help you manage your day and nothing more.

Casting the Tiles, Your Daily MahJong Tile Reading for May 12

Your Past, Present & Future Reading for Today

In Chinese Culture the Dragon is generally considered a sign of great luck and power.  The Dragon Reading creates a relationship between sets of tiles to each Dragon to explore how the Three Dragons will influence you now and in the near future.

 

 

The Red Dragon represents success, achievement and fulfillment. The three tiles under the Red Dragon tile will influence the power your Red Dragon currently has in your life.

 

 

 

 

Orchid
Symbol: Refinement

The Orchid tile suggests there may be rare and refined experiences coming into your life. Enjoy them!

 

 

 

 

South Wind
Symbol: Fire

The South Wind tile is considered to be a very good sign in a reading. It almost ensures a satisfactory end to any problem.

 

 

 

 

Wan 2
Symbol: Sword

The Sword tile indicates a decision must be made before attainment of your goals can be reached.

 

Your Charm for May 12th is Pisces the Fishes

Your Charm for Today

Today’s Meaning:
This aspect of your life will be strongly influenced by a person who is imaginative, sensitive, compassionate, kind, selfless, unworldly, intuitive and sympathetic. This person could be merely an acquaintance who has influence with people in your circle.

General Description:
Twelfth sign of the Zodiac, Feb 19th to March 20th. Ruled by the planet Jupiter; correct metal, Tin. Those born under the influence of Pisces were believed to be highly emotional, imaginative, observant, artistic, musical, precise and prudent. The gem for Pisces is the Amethyst, whose occult properties were firmly believed in by the ancients. The Egyptians wore these stones as amulets against witchcraft, and for success in their undertakings. The Amethyst is also called The Bishops Stone from its supposed soothing influence, imparting a pious calm in time of danger. The stone was believed to confer happiness on the newly married.

Your Ancient Symbol Card for May 12 is The Peacock

Your Ancient Symbol Card for Today

The Peacock

 
The iridescent emerald plumage and spectacular broad tail of The Peacock make it the ideal symbol of both justified pride and vanity. It denotes the right for one to be proud of themselves for being who they are and for letting others know. In short, its okay to strut a bit. At the same time The Peacock reminds us that while pride and high self esteem are essential components of a healthy psyche, becoming too full of one’s self makes us vain, and vanity is never attractive in anyone.

As a daily card, The Peacock is reminder that you are inherently valuable, and have a right to be proud of who you are as well as let others know you are proud of yourself. It is also a warning to not allow you pride and sense of self worth grow to such grand proportions that you become vain and conceited.

Your Crowley Thoth Tarot Card for May 12th is The Tower

Your Crowley Thoth Tarot Card for Today

The Tower



The Tower is perfect card for the revolutionary or iconoclast or anyone who flourishes in rapidly changing environments. What The Tower brings to the mix is sudden, usually unexpected change. With that change there will be a period of disorder, and there may be loss. However, the loss is probably not yours, since you may well be the agent that created the change to begin with. Many positive things can occur from the change The Tower indicates: Truths will be laid bare, revelations and breakthroughs are not just possible but likely, and nothing spurs creativity like a good dose of chaos and confusion. In the end it is likely that what replaces what was lost in the fall of The Tower will be worth the loss.

Your Daily Witches Rune for May 12th is Harvest

Today’s Witches Rune

Harvest

Meaning: This is a very positive rune, related to abundance, rewards, growth and benefits. But it’s important to not mistake this rune for mere luck… while luck may help, the Harvest rune is usually related to the blessings that you have brought to yourself and to others, through your actions and investments.

“Reaping what you sow” is the message of the Harvest rune, but with a positive connotation. All that you worked and fought so hard to get will finally come to you, and you’ll be able to enjoy a time of tranquility, optimism and expansion. As the obstacles that were (or still are) in the way become smaller, you have a solid ground to reach out for your dreams.

Thus, the Harvest rune is a positive sign, telling you that you are in right path. However, it’s important to know that this symbol is always attached to personal responsibility… it’s what you do with your tools (whether they be mental, emotional or physical) that determines what you’ll get back in the end. Use them wisely, and luck will serve you well.

On a more negative side, this rune can make one sleep on their laurels and cling to past victories. One can become too reliant on “what works” and refuse to try new things (specially if the Crossroads rune is near). The Harvest runes should inspire you to take some risks and keep evolving, and not to crystalize yourself in one position because it proved to be successful.

In relationship readings, this symbol is connected to more practical aspects than emotional ones. Usually it represents couples who grow together, financially, socially and/or professionally. Security becomes an important factor when the Harvest appears. It represents the moment in which the couple begins to build their nest together, and think about starting a family. This rune tends to be very positive for all relationships, but doesn’t always inspire much passion.

Shuffling the Cards, Your Daily Pyramid Reading for May 12

Your Daily Pyramid Reading for Today

 

Today’s Theme

Ace of Wands

A new venture is on the horizon. This new venture may be anything from a journey or business to a family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Challenge

The Eight of Wands Reversed

Delay seems probable. Jealousy may become a problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Ally

Six of Swords

The future looks brighter. Success will be known.

Best Tarot Cards for Money

 

 

 

 

 

Best Tarot Cards for Money

See which Tarot cards have the most important messages about money!

 

Money. When we don’t have it, we need it. When we have it, we just want more. Money may not be able to buy love and happiness, but it can provide a sense of security, luck, and freedom — and that’s a start!

From surprise windfalls to tough, emergency expenses, it’s easy to feel like your life and options depend on the money you have. So how can minimize financial stress and make choices with your money that you feel comfortable with? With the Tarot of course!

From the Major Arcana to all suits of the Minor Arcana, there are cards throughout any Tarot deck that hold important messages about your fortune — in fact, the suit of Pentacles (also known as Coins) relates directly to your finances, abundance, and stability.

Will one of these cards show up in your next money reading?

 

Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune reminds you that nothing is permanent — including your financial situation. If you’re at a high point with your cash flow, this card is a sign to be careful and wise with your money, or else your situation could change in an instant. If you’re at a financial low, the Wheel is a reminder that you will not feel financial stress forever, that money comes and goes, and it will come back to you — but it may take time and effort.

 

 

 

 

 

Ace of Wands

The Ace of Wands is a card of action, potential, and positivity. It’s full of energy and power, and looks to the future instead of the past. The Ace of Wands may appear when you are unsure of a new financial situation — a new job, newly jointed finances, or starting up a business — and encourages you to be confident in your endeavors. Your natural talents will take you far when the Ace of Wands appears.

 

 

 

 

 

Four of Pentacles

Money means security for many people. So in order to maintain that secure feeling, we hold on to dollars for dear life. Or in order to obtain that security, we may go about getting money in malicious or greedy ways. So, the Four of Pentacles reminds you to loosen your grip on money — to diminish the control it has over your life. Stability comes from many sources. Money does matter, but it’s time to look beyond your finances for comfort.

 

 

 

 

 

Five of Pentacles

When the Five of Pentacles appears, you’re likely at a low point in your finances, and it’s affecting you on an emotional level. You may feel helpless, and that you’re alone in your struggles. This card, however, reminds you that help is out there, but you may have to reach out for it.

 

 

 

 

 

King of Wands

The King of Wands is a card of intention, action, and creativity. This card encourages you to be hands-on with your finances, and to maintain a confident state of mind. Money — or the lack of it — isn’t a problem for the King of Wands — it’s a challenge that he’s ready and willing to figure out. When this card appears in a money reading, you’re reminded that when you put real effort and energy into your job and finances, you will see real growth — it’s all in your hands.

 

 

 

 

 

Part of the Daily Insight Group

Your Daily Tarot Card for May 12 is Judgment

Your Personal Daily Tarot Card

Judgment



Judgment embodies those forces which require us to be accountable for our actions. With Judgment truths are revealed, mysteries are unraveled and responsibility is assigned. Judgment unveils outcomes and marks the ends of things. While it is a time to properly place guilt, it is also a time for atonement and forgiveness. Ultimately the process of Judgment should lead to freedom from errors made in the past and a fresh start with a clean slate. To that end Judgment actually promises the start of a new journey on which we can apply what we have learned from our past.

Get A Jump On Tomorrow, Your Daily Horoscopes for Friday, 13th

 

 

 

 

Get A Jump On Tomorrow…..

Your Daily Horoscopes for Friday, 13th

by Rick Levine

 

A pragmatic approach to love increases our chances for success today. But too much inflexibility makes it tough to get our emotional needs met now that vulnerable Venus harmonizes with unrelenting Pluto. Although issues of control can test a relationship, retrograde Mercury nudges Venus, prompting us to discuss the same feelings we normally keep hidden. However, the proud Leo Moon demands that we hide any weakness by going on with the show.

Aries Horoscope MAR 21 – APR 19

A whole new level of reality is available if you tune into the previously unseen world that exists beyond the obvious distractions. Although you may be itching to move on to your next experience, you’ll miss the magic if you acquiesce to the latest flashy temptation. Don’t let the noise lure you away from your heart. Even if you are fearful of what you may discover, pushing through your uncertainty brings love closer to you now. The only way you can find peace is by facing the truth.

Taurus Horoscope APR 20 – MAY 20

You are not satisfied with a simple solution to your unfulfilled needs. You want more now and are willing to run an obstacle course for your reward. Ironically, your non-negotiable desires, coupled with your unflappable determination, could actually lead you to the goodies you seek if you know when to ease up on the gas. Unfortunately, placing too much pressure on someone might stir up a hornet’s nest instead of creating a love nest. Surprisingly, expressing your feelings in a flexible and gentle manner offers the best chance for finding happiness.

Gemini Horoscope MAY 21 – JUN 20

You have a rare opportunity to deepen a relationship now by using your wit and charm. But employing humor to sidestep your inconvenient feelings will only add anxiety to the day. The key to your satisfaction is making people more comfortable with the emotional intensity. Nevertheless, it’s a tricky balancing act; if you are too easygoing, you might lose the potential potency of the moment. However, holding firmly to your agenda while modifying your approach could be an unbeatable combination.

Cancer Horoscope JUN 21 – JUL 22

Bringing your feelings into the discussion at the right time leads to a successful power play at work while earning you a new wave of respect. Nevertheless, you must tread lightly because your friends and allies might resist your plan if you arouse their anger. Unfortunately, you may end up wasting valuable resources dealing with an unnecessary drama if you push your luck. Thankfully, sharing control is not as complicated as it sounds and is a great way to strengthen your support network.

Leo Horoscope JUL 23 – AUG 22

Playful flirting can suddenly turn serious today, so don’t send out the invitation unless you are ready to give one hundred percent to your romantic gestures. On the other hand, revitalizing a long-term relationship might be more rewarding than starting up a new one. Just exercise caution; you won’t be able to cool the passion down as quickly as you fired it up if the feelings grow hot. It’s fantastic if both of you are on the same page, but don’t trifle with anyone’s heart if you’re not.

Virgo Horoscope AUG 23 – SEP 22

Unexpressed feelings intensify relationships in unforeseeable ways today. You might try to avoid the uncertainty of emotional conflict, but the outcome could be more fruitful than you expect. A power struggle may come out of nowhere, especially if family memories are triggered by current circumstances. Keep in mind that your fears are more problematic than what’s actually occurring now. Taking a risk and sharing your concerns with someone special can result in a memorable experience.

Libra Horoscope SEP 23 – OCT 22

A casual interaction with a coworker can be enough to lift your spirits now. Potent Pluto and your key planet Venus join in a marriage between power and beauty today, emphasizing the best parts of any type of relationship. Unfortunately, lasting pleasure won’t come without sincere intentions and hard work; desire is simply not enough. Be brave and reveal your feelings to start the ball rolling in the right direction. Opening your heart inspires others to do the same.

Scorpio Horoscope OCT 23 – NOV 21

Disclosing your feelings is less of a struggle now if you acquiesce and go along for an emotional ride, no matter where it takes you. Your key planet Pluto is on the receiving end of a delectable kiss from romantic Venus, motivating you to take a nominal risk in love without being overly attached to the outcome. However, everyone seems to be concentrating on a different agenda. Rise to the occasion by shifting your focus from personal satisfaction to global compassion. Choosing the high road expands your heart.

Sagittarius Horoscope NOV 22 – DEC 21

You are graced with a natural ability to shine your love light into the darkness, creating a more meaningful experience without appearing overly serious. Still, there are weighty matters on your mind and you should take them to heart today. Luckily, your thoughtful actions now will begin to resolve the emotional tensions that have plagued the past few weeks. Adopting an I-can-do-it attitude is the first step toward lightening your load.

Capricorn Horoscope DEC 22 – JAN 19

Although passionate feelings about your relationships intensify today, you might be reluctant to share your likes and dislikes with your friends. Unfortunately, your inner resistance to expressing your needs may reveal that you’re not ready to open up to someone special. Even if you prefer to be the strong and silent type, showing your vulnerability can be a sign of courage when you telegraph your availability. Take a chance now and make sure your message comes from your heart.

Aquarius Horoscope JAN 20 – FEB 18

Confining a professional relationship to strictly business is an understandable tactic, but an unexpected opportunity to share your feelings is intriguing, nonetheless. Of course, it’s absolutely crucial to respect appropriate boundaries, but you still can let the other person know what’s occurring in your inner world if they seem sincerely interested. Establishing a genuine heart connection reinforces the bonds of friendship and cultivates an atmosphere of teamwork.

Pisces Horoscope FEB 19 – MAR 20

Your fascination with a piece of jewelry, furniture, clothing or artwork might tempt you to make a significant purchase today. A burning desire in your heart enchants you with the idea of owning something beautiful, leading you to compulsive behavior now, whether or not you actually acquire anything. Keep in mind that this attraction could simply be a reflection of your growing sense of self-worth. Acknowledging the substantial value you bring to the people you love is worth more than anything money can buy.

 

Part of the Daily Insight Group

If Today is Your Birthday: May 12

happy-birthday-cake

If Today is Your Birthday: May 12

Personable, friendly, caring, and charming, you are a thoughtful person and can put yourself into almost anyone’s shoes. Funny and witty, you have a true way with words and can be quite excellent at writing, promotion, advertising, and the like. You are also good at managing money and coming up with money-making ideas. You are versatile, yet stable and secure. Famous people born today: Florence Nightingale, Katharine Hepburn, Tom Snyder, Yogi Berra, Tony Hawk, Mary Kay Ash, Emilio Estevez.

Your Birthday Year Forecast:

Your birthday occurs around a First Quarter Moon this year, and you are reaching an important turning point in terms of personal growth. You may be more emotional this year, and should watch for unnecessary conflicts and making hasty decisions as a result. Otherwise, this is a year of great energy, motivation, and growth. You are more ambitious and desirous of action in the year ahead. This should be a busy, dynamic period in your life.

Pleasing circumstances surrounding your love life, finances, and creative pursuits are in store this year. You are more generous, and others return the favor. You might receive financial backing or special gifts in the period ahead. You seek a little more from your love life and you are likely to receive it. Some of you could fall in love this year, or existing relationships are enhanced. Adventure-seeking is a theme.

 You tend to be looked upon favorably by others. You have the chance to shine, largely because you are projecting yourself with self-respect and modesty at once. You are especially appealing and charming just by being yourself. Opportunities—both personal and professional—are likely to present themselves as a result. Teaching others may be part of the picture, informally or formally.

Mercury conjunct Venus adds charm to the way you present your ideas this year, certainly helping to smooth over differences in your personal relationships. This influence also helps you to express yourself more creatively. You are more cooperative than usual, and attract the same kind of energy with others.

You are likely to form new relationships or connections that further your spiritual growth, or to enhance existing relationships with a spirit of camaraderie. People in authority regard you favorably. Events take place in which you feel that you are moving forward and growing into a new phase of your life.

You might also renew and deepen love commitments or social connections. Strong and stimulating–even motivating–attractions to others are likely. Secret loves or attractions may develop and existing relationships tend to rise to a higher level of insight and understanding.

This is an excellent year in which to advance projects revolving around communications – writing, speaking, selling, and so forth. Your reputation may be enhanced through word of mouth. Making new contacts through learning and mental pursuits figures strongly as well.

There may be a project, idea, or person that demands much of your attention or occupies much of your thoughts. It’s a strong year for any project or studies that require concentrated effort. You are especially resourceful. You are willing to put in the effort and dedication to a mental interest or project.

It’s a good period in your life for taking necessary steps towards making yourself feel more secure and safe, and for family or domestic activities. This is also a period when you more readily support or defend others. Taking charge of nutrition, health, and domestic organization can be in strong focus and can be quite successful.

This can be a strong year for enjoying friendships and connections with others. It’s a strong period for teaching and learning, and is excellent for seeking advanced training or for furthering your education. You may be making good contacts with others, particularly through career, shared interests, or schooling. Positive plans and lifestyle changes can be made at this time in your life. Your popularity soars this year.

2016 is a Number Eight year for you. Ruled by Saturn. This is a year of power and accomplishment. Actively seeking to expand, taking educated risks, and moving forward are highlighted. This is a year of opportunity, particularly in the material and business world, and opportunities need to be seized. It’s generally not a year to find a new love partner, simply because the focus is on the material world and your place in the world. This is a problem-solving year in which you can expect real, tangible results. Advice – take action, plan ahead, seize opportunities.

2017 will be a Number Nine year for you. Ruled by Mars. This is a year of completion and transition. It is a time when we need to let go of things that no longer serve their purpose, and hold on to things that have a future. It is a time of cleaning out dead wood, not necessarily for new beginnings. It can be a time when a burden has been taken off your shoulders, and it can be a year of giving of yourself. Advice – let go of things that are holding you back, give of yourself and express your sympathetic, compassionate side.

Courtesy of Cafe Astrology