- Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
- Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
- Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.
- When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.
- Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets, and nine suicide bombs.
- What you thought was “heat” is actually a four-legged goose step.
- Well, *somebody* subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
- Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals “tattoo” to be blueprint of the UN Building.
- Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
- Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out “Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head.”
- Then — dead mice in the kitchen. Now — dead third world dictators in the basement.
- Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of “land mine” technology.
- Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.
- Has recently been acting somewhat… aloof.
- What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.
- Somehow, you’re now subscribed to “Pussy of Fortune” magazine.