Day: July 13, 2012

Your Lunar Love Horoscopes for the Weekend of July 13 – 15

Weekend Love: Lunar Love

 by Jeff Jawer

Pursuing Pleasure

July 13 – 15

 

Expect surprises this weekend with shocking Uranus turning retrograde on Friday and verbal Mercury making a similar reversal on Saturday. But life might feel relatively calm at first with the Moon’s presence in stabilizing Taurus until Saturday morning. The zodiac’s Bull is like Ferdinand: a sweet, gentle sensualist who stops to smell the flowers. Taking time to sample life’s simple pleasures is a wonderful gift of the Taurus Moon. Familiar comforts are extra tasty in this habit-bound sign.
Saturday’s cosmic energy is much sassier, starting with a lunar leap into bouncy Gemini in the morning. The chatty Twins make it easy to talk to anyone about anything. Words of love and affection flow like poetry thanks to a flirtatious Mercury-Venus connection. Yet the retrograde turn of Messenger Mercury and a stern Sun-Saturn square provoke careless speech that can put a chill on relationships. Tempering high hopes and avoiding grandiose promises are ways to escape a sudden cooling trend.
Being patient with personal demands pays dividends on Sunday morning with a lunar conjunction to amorous Venus. There’s romance in the air; get up early to make a special breakfast for the one you love or head out into the world to see who might catch your eye. A friendly attitude and a playful approach are nearly impossible to resist.

New Moon Report for July 13 – Uranus Retrograde

New Moon Report for July 13

by Jeff Jawer

 

Uranus Retrograde

Friday, July 13

The revolution starts within. Radical Uranus turns retrograde and starts freeing us from the inside out. Liberation comes by stepping out of our assumptions and viewing our lives from a new perspective. Breaking an outmoded habit is one small step we can all take to start changing the world.

the daily humorscopes for friday, july 13

          the daily humorscope          

Friday, July 13, 2012

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

You will find solace, and it won’t look at all like you expected.

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

Beware of Poles. Particularly dark-haired women of Polish extraction. Due to an oddity of genetic significance, they will all be intensely silly for a few weeks.

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Good day to start learning the violin. Interestingly, your neighbors will volunteer to pay for lessons. It’s selfless gestures like that which really help friendships blossom.

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Today you will be seized with the urgent desire to buy a harmonica, which you will take everywhere with you, on one of those coat-hanger thingies around your neck.

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

You might have that mole on your back checked out. It may actually be a gopher.

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

You will be in a somewhat ornery mood when you go out to an Italian restaurant tonight. You will insist on chopsticks.

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

You will call someone today, who will insist on calling you “Sven”. Humor them — act impressed that they know your “real” name.

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

You will have trouble with the telephone, in which, no matter what number you call, you reach “Mo’s Leather Emporium”. Don’t take it lightly.

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

You will join the ranks of the hipster cognoscienti. It’ll be fun at first, but later you’ll start secretly craving casseroles, and it will eventually become such an intolerable pressure that you’ll abandon your pale, pierced friends with the clever haircuts and move to Minnesota.

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

Soon you will find yourself at another dull party, where the only person you know is who you came with. You’ll need to use Tip #39 of my book “101 Ways To Break The Ice”: Ask someone who they are, after introducing yourself. When they say their name, repeat it back to them as “YOU’RE Bill Smith???” “Uh, yes” “Well, you sure can’t believe everything you hear, can you?” “What do you mean?” “Well, it’s just that you don’t look at ALL like a weasel, you know? Or at least, hardly at all.”

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

You will come up with a theory about people – that you can learn a lot about them, simply by removing the first letter of their name. For example, Ron -> On. That’s why I’m on-line. That also explains why Hugh acts so primitive, sometimes. And if I were you, I’d avoid Alice.

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

What fun! You’ll be called in to a special meeting at work soon, where someone will have a “pink slip”. Sounds like party attire to me!

Daily Cosmic Calendar for July 13

Handle all your relationships with kid gloves today. As mentioned in this calendar for the past few days, the outer planet Uranus – now located at 9 degrees of Aries – halts its forward progress in the zodiac (2:50AM PDT) and begins a retrograde cycle that lasts until December 13. Uranian themes and keynotes – intuition, revolution, radical change, flashes of genius, iconoclasts, eccentricity, jesters and jokers, the multi-media, high technology, advances on the cutting edge of science and metaphysics, surprises, shock waves, topsy-turvy conditions, the nervous system, rebellion and anarchy – are emphasized today and over the weekend.  While uncertainty is in the catbird seat, the universe tries to placate you with a flowing trine from the Sun to Juno (3:48AM PDT) as well as a supportive, 60-degree alliance from the Sun to the Moon (12:47PM PDT). While the Sun-Juno tie can assist you in improving the quality of primary partnerships, the Sun-Moon connection actually starts a void lunar cycle that lasts until 5:28AM PDT tomorrow morning when the Moon shifts gears from Taurus to Gemini.  Therefore, the hours after 12:47PM PDT today suggest a need to go with the cosmic flow and not push any personal agendas with tenacity and force. A frictional, 45-degree contact between the Sun and Jupiter (4:07PM PDT) is also a reminder to avoid overdoing a good thing and to inject levity and good humor into social and business proceedings. Don’t worry over things you can’t change. Keep overnight decision-making to the bare minimum.