the daily humorscope
Saturday, June 02, 2012
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Good day to be callously indifferent to the plight of the masses. You have larger things on your mind than whether the peasants are happy. Oui?
Today you will rush around in a tizzy. It will be sort of fun, actually, since the tizzy handles well, and has more than enough power to make an exciting ride.
Privacy will be an issue today. This may possibly be because a group of foreign tourists will follow you everywhere, smiling and nodding the entire time.
Yesterday’s bathtub mystery will be explained today. Still, you’ll have no idea what to feed the penguin. Pizza might work, I’d think.
Stay out of the Cheez Doodles today.
In one of those amusing mix-ups that happen so frequently in modern life, a friend of yours will have mistaken your reference to “her suit” and thought you said “hirsute”. Still, this may prove a little awkward.
This might be a good time to refer to your roommate as “Watson” and say things like “The game’s afoot!”. Eventually, you’ll be able to reconstruct an entire evening’s events from a spilled drop of raspberry vinaigrette.
Today you will lose your marbles. Fortunately, someone will find them and return them to you.
You will find a biography of some famous dead person, at a garage sale, and buy it on a whim. It will change your life. You will also soon take up bricklaying, as a hobby.
You haven’t been sleeping well, but that will soon change. You will develop the knack of falling instantly asleep whenever you want to — either at night, or during boring meetings.
It’s ok to whistle while you work. Your co-workers will draw the line at yodelling while you work, however. They’re probably just jealous.
You feel like you’re slowly being crushed at work, in a mental and spiritual sense. Perhaps travel would refresh you? For spiritually beneficial travel, I usually consult my neighborhood Astral Travel Agency.
Witches Of The Craft® 