General Daily Horoscopes for Monday, July 25, 2011

The determined Taurus Moon prompts us to stand firm in our convictions, but we may be growing tired of holding on to a particular point of view. It becomes nearly impossible to remain so stubborn once the Moon shifts into adaptable Gemini at 12:34 pm EDT. While this shift into the sign of curiosity increases our mental activity, helping us process more information, an erratic Mercury-Uranus aspect can shake things up and promote carelessness.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

At first it seems as if others are telling you to slow down today, but this familiar advice to an impulsive Aries isn’t about your speed. The emotional Moon’s entry into your interactive 3rd house encourages you to react instinctively, but your intuition can lead you astray now. Although you’re tempted to respond right away, it’s smarter to deliberate first. Waiting for a while before speaking your piece will make everyone happier and leave you without regret.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You don’t want to do anything until you’re ready to do it. If someone else attempts to change your timetable, you might overreact. Try softening your position today; it’s not helpful if you become so locked into your own schedule that you can’t respond rationally to an intriguing opportunity. Accepting an unexpected invitation can bring an exciting social interaction that improves your outlook on the day.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

The Moon’s entry into multifaceted Gemini can be quite confusing, especially as it raises your feelings closer to the surface. This normally wouldn’t be a problem, except it appears that you want contradictory things that might require you to proceed in two different directions. However, you might be more successful by postponing your decision until your mental clarity returns. If you can be comfortable with your ambivalence, then nothing needs to be changed for now.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Your anticipation of the future is likely more intense now than the events that actually follow. However, no matter how you look at it, you’re in for significant changes. Don’t panic; it may take time to put the big pieces in place. During your preparation process, it’s crucial to stay in the present moment and handle each situation as it arises, rather than worrying about what you might have to do tomorrow.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You are ready for a bit of fun now, even if you still have plenty of things to do. Keep in mind that it isn’t wise to avoid your responsibilities, for they will continue to multiply over the next few days. Grab a bit of enjoyment when you can and then get back to work. It’s all too easy to overextend your lunch break, so let the good times roll for a limited amount of time before returning for another round of serious business.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You have a lot to manage today as the Moon moves into your 10th House of Social Responsibility. You want to do things right, but you may get distracted by interesting conversations with unusual people. There’s nothing wrong with being curious as long as you’re willing to take the time to ask questions in a sensitive manner. However, don’t be overly concerned about what others think; just concentrate on your path to success.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

It’s hard to know if you should be jazzed about what’s coming next or concerned that you recently missed your chance. You can sense that big changes are lurking just out past your perceptual limits. Nevertheless, you cannot wrap your mind around this elusive situation today. Although you may need to face your anxiety, remaining flexible is more important than following a specific agenda.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

The Moon’s shift into your 8th House of Deep Sharing today gives you a chance to dig beneath the surface. However, the lightweight Gemini Moon could still leave you feeling slightly unsatisfied. Pushing too hard can set you up for disappointment now. While others may be able to match your passion, they won’t be able to sustain it. Be persistent; your patience will pay off when everyone else catches up with you in the days ahead.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You stand to learn something important about yourself when you actually take the time to listen. But you may grow bored of someone else’s stories today as the restless Gemini Moon rattles your 7th House of Relationships. It’s ironic that another person can get on your nerves, yet also offers such an important lesson. A quick escape is tempting now, but staying present in the dialogue can ultimately change your perspective for the better.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You are easily distracted today and may be unable to stay focused on your work. It’s hard to keep your thinking in perspective because your mind is jumping all over the place. Don’t try to suppress your runaway thoughts by force. A smarter strategy is to grant yourself permission to ride a carousel of ideas and feelings. Think of this as a mini-getaway; your job responsibilities will be patiently waiting for your return.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You could be asked to offer your impression about someone you know. But the level of energy it takes to engage in a discussion — even in just sharing your ideas — might be more than you want. Your avoidance tactics won’t likely be very effective now, so you may as well stop trying to put off the inevitable. A little procrastination is harmless, but too much can lead to unnecessary trouble. Ultimately, it’s best to just say what’s on your mind.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Your thoughts are running astray today and you can frustrate yourself by thinking that you have the power to rein them in. However, it’s possible to calm your nerves by diverting your attention. Watch a movie or just relax to your favorite music. And remember, these distractions are not long-term solutions; they simply shift your focus for a while. Be patient; the nervous energy will run its course and settle down over the next few days.

General Weekly Love Horoscopes for the Week of July 25th

We will be looking for more excitement in relationships this week as amorous Venus enters audacious Leo on Thursday. Simple affection is not enough in this outgoing sign that spurs deeper needs for passion and romance. It’s time to step up and speak out to get noticed because the cool and quiet ones are hard to see in the bright light of this expressive sign. The bold Leo New Moon on Saturday sets the stage for grand gestures of generosity and loud declarations of love.

 

 
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You are ready to rock in your romantic life this week as alluring Venus dances into your 5th House of Play on Thursday with the Moon joining the party very late on Friday night. Going too far is probably unavoidable under these dramatic conditions where brash behavior is rewarded and taking risks is a must. Shining your love light is bound to attract the attention you seek.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Your magnetic ruling planet Venus and the Moon are both hanging out in your 4th House of Home and Family this weekend. This cosmic atmosphere is ideal for entertaining at your place where you can be the queen or king of your castle. Be generous with your heart and you might earn the kind of affection that comes when you don’t hold back. The heat of passion may feel risky, but it’s the secret sauce of relationship success now.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Conversations may start out on a casual note but can quickly become heated this weekend. The warmth is great when you’re being playful and loving, but can kill the romantic mood if you start battling over petty details. Don’t let small differences get in the way of a sweet connection. Demonstrating a good sense of humor is the key that can resolve conflict and turn a painful moment into a pleasurable one.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

The dramatic Leo New Moon encourages you to be more flamboyant this weekend. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, and if you don’t, learn how to fake it fast. This is a time when putting on a show opens doors that sincerity and seriousness can’t touch. If you are genuinely having a good time, it will be so much easier to attract the kind of passionate playmate you want by your side.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

This is your week to prance, play and enjoy all the fun and romance that your heart desires. Magnetic Venus dances into your demonstrative sign on Thursday and the Leo New Moon occurring on Saturday ensures a weekend of excitement and drama. Clear your calendar of responsibilities so that you are free to celebrate the joy of giving love with an open heart and being equally loved in return.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

It’s time to dream the impossible dream with the love planet Venus entering your metaphysical 12th house this week. Don’t let the limits of reality lower your expectations because you are ready for romantic inspiration. What starts as a seemingly unrealistic hope now can create the spark needed to restore passion in a current relationship or to begin a fulfilling new one.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Your captivating ruling planet Venus enters fearless Leo and your 11th House of Friends this week, enhancing your love life when you’re part of a group. Your social skills make you a natural party planner or an event organizer, which should gain you attention and admiration now. Your heartfelt belief in a cause can be the flame that ignites passion and makes others want to follow your example.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

The Moon in generous Leo falls in your 10th House of Public Responsibility this weekend. This is excellent for demonstrating your courage, creativity and leadership qualities to earn you appreciation and adoration. Don’t hold back when it comes to pursuing your goals, since playing it safe is unlikely to arouse much interest. Taking a risk with your heart might be scary at first, but is definitely the richer route to take. Pursuing your passion makes you undeniably hot.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Venus, the planet of amour, enters your 9th House of Faraway Places this week, arousing your deep passion for travel and adventure. People from different cultures can bring out the best in you as curiosity cultivates conversation. Talking about your feelings should serve you well now, so express your opinions with an open heart. Although your enthusiasm is likely to be contagious, make sure to deliver your messages with kindness so that no one is offended along the way.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You may have to take chances to rekindle the fire in a relationship now. Flirty Venus enters extroverted Leo, the sign of the gambler, and your 8th House of Intimacy this week. The chances for deeper connections come when you’re willing to open your heart without fear of failure. Yes, it can feel dangerous to express yourself so openly, but the potential rewards are well worth the risks.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your relationship life gets two major boosts this week. Loving Venus moves into your 7th House of Partners on Thursday and the exuberant Leo New Moon makes a commanding performance on Saturday. The key to cashing in on all this romantic goodness is to give your brain a rest and let your emotions lead the way. It may not look cool in the process, but if it’s passion you want, expose your heart.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

The love planet Venus shifts into your 6th House of Work and Service on Thursday, encouraging you to express your heart when you’re on the job or dealing with routine tasks. Even the most ordinary activity casts you in a favorable light and can be a springboard to connecting with someone interesting. The joy and pride you bring to minor matters can make you feel like a major star.

the daily humorscope for Monday, July 25, 2011

the daily humorscope 

Monday, July 25, 2011

 
 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Two people near you will engage in sudden, violent, rubber-band warfare. You will be caught in a crossfire, and severely thwapped. Next time, consider wearing protective headgear indoors.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you will read a bit of Shakespeare, and just before you fall asleep, you will think: “A duck, by any other name, would smell as foul.” Never mix Shakespeare and chocolate icecream. The results can be a trifle unpredictable.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today will be a celebration of life, love, and art. Also, the start of a nagging fear that you’ll find out something terribly unpleasant while doing your taxes.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Due to minor lymph-node infection, several dangerous toxins will shortly be released into your bloodstream. Not to worry. You’ll survive, and the only permanent brain damage will involve an enthusiasm for polka music.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will be conducting naval maneuvers in the bathtub today, when you will have an unfortunate accident involving your toy submarine. The visit to the emergency room will be most embarrasing.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You will walk into a door frame today, and people will smirk. Remember though, they’re smirking with you, not at you.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Your plans to take over the world move forward to the next stage, soon, right on schedule. What you need now is a hunch-backed henchperson with pale protruding eyes. Fortunately for you, a suitable candidate will soon show up at your door, dressed as a peanut.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Good day to take up knitting, on horseback. Everyone needs an adventure.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good day to do crossword puzzles in the park. Life is short enough, without letting it get you all stressed out like that.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Good day to let your imagination soar. Tomorrow: imagining you’re sore.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Your perfume or cologne has too much patchoulli. Only an idiot wears patchoulli. Or a witch. Hmm. Er, never mind. Wear whatever you like. I’m sure it’s quite nice.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Good day to ponder the parable of the itsy bitsy spider, and the futility of climbing up water spouts during spring weather. You’ll be able to apply this lesson to one of your current relationships.