November 22nd
Cut Hair to Retard Growth, Mow to Retard Growth, Get Married, Entertain Friends, Host a Party
Tag: LIBRA
the daily humorscopes for monday, november 21st
the daily humorscope
Monday, November 21, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today will be the best day of your life, if you can just remember … er … now what was that? Hmmm. If you can just remember something really important. Otherwise, no. Hmmm.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You will lurk, today. There’s nothing that wrong with lurking, after all, and it’s occasionally somewhat refreshing. In fact, you’ll soon begin work on How To Lurk, a best-selling self-help book on the topic.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will put your foot down, regarding your turn at dinner preparation versus dining out. In other words, “if you ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
A big spider will be waiting for you in the dark, chuckling its evil spider chuckle, and rubbing it’s hairy legs together in a chitinously evil way. Fortunately for you, someone else will come by before you, and will squish it without a second thought.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Today you will be overcome with a sudden strong urge to learn to play a wooden flute while cavorting around in the forest. I recommend you treat those separately at first. You’ll find what you need under “Music, Instruction” and under “Cavorting, Instruction.” Don’t get talked into buying any cavorting supplies, though — they’re really only needed by professionals.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Good time to learn to play the harmonica. If you get one of those coat hanger thingies to hang around your neck, you can even play it while you’re typing!
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
This week, try to live your life based on the ad copy of a men’s cologne. For example: “The mood of the sea, and the spirit of the wind” (Cool Water, by Davidoff) Or perhaps: “Disturb the equilibrium” (Catalyst for Men, by Halston)
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
A Ph.D. degree in parapsychology is in your future. Despite what you may have heard, however, the corresponding career path is not terribly rewarding. You will get to see a lot of furniture move by itself, of course, so that’s a plus.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will develop a passion for Cajun cuisine, and will refuse to eat anything that hasn’t been “blackened”. Your family will draw the line at blackened corn flakes, however.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Stinky feet day, today. Don’t go to a Japanese restaurant.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
It’s nice that you’ve made good friends that you feel comfortable with. You might be getting a trifle TOO comfy, though – or you wouldn’t keep nodding off while talking with them.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You need to be a bit more brusque, to cut down on your interruptions. Stay just this side of gruff, however – and make sure you don’t stray into crustyness.
Zodiac Guidance: Your Horoscope Prayer
Zodiac Guidance: Your Horoscope Prayer
- posted by Annie B. Bond
Inspired by Earth Magic, by Claire Nahmad (Inner Traditions, 1994).
These short and simple prayers are based on your sun sign. They can help you to feel more balanced and grounded in your true self, bringing out what is best and deepest in you, helping you to function better in your life and your world.
Read the short prayer for your horoscope sign here.
Aries, March 21-April 19: May my courage help me to blaze new trails in my life.
Taurus, April 20-May 21: Today, may I focus on my inner garden, growing what I truly need.
Gemini, May 22-June 20: May I share my ideas with ease, finding playmates of the spirit with every word I speak.
Cancer, June 21-July 22: May my sensitive heart be nourished today by pleasant memories and creativity.
Leo, July 23- Aug. 22: May my vital imagination be the fiery force that can change my life for the better.
Virgo, Aug. 23-Sept. 22: Today, may I give thought to the messages of healing my body is sending me, and the ways I can give my body what it needs.
Libra, Sept. 23-Oct. 22: May I create something beautiful today out of my deep love for Beauty.
Scorpio, Oct. 23-Nov. 21: May I rise up again and again, filled with the power of renewal.
Sagittarius, Nov. 22-Dec. 21: May I speak the ideals of my heart clearly and with compassion for my self and others.
Capricorn, Dec. 22-Jan. 19: May I remember that my most important responsibility is to express my true nature.
Aquarius, Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Today, may I be open to fresh new ideas that help me strengthen the bonds of community.
Pisces, Feb. 19-March 20: May my deep intuition be a benefit to all my relations.
Cosmic Calendar for Sunday, November 20th
Last night – for several hours – the outer planet Uranus became a key planetary player in earthly lives. Now its Neptune’s turn to hog the limelight as this far-out celestial body in Aquarius receives a 90-degree square from the Sun in Scorpio (12:43PM PST). Don’t make the naive mistake in thinking that the only worry concerns 12:43PM PST. There is always a build-up of several hours (at least) before any solar aspect when the vibrations connected to both the Sun and whatever it is interacting with are becoming stronger and stronger. In addition after the alignment has occurred precisely, it isn’t gone, but remains influential – possibly for many hours or even a day or two. The Sun square to Neptune brings up mental clarity and emotional serenity issues. Unfortunately, it is usually the lack of mental clarity and emotional serenity that occurs under the square in question. Part of the problem here is that the Sun and Neptune are in the so-called fixed, power signs of the zodiac where there is a mighty reluctance to change, grow and adapt. Hopefully, just contemplating these concerns can bring you more into an internal state of peace and harmony – the higher goal of the Sun-Neptune face-off in the first place. Meditating to increase enlightenment is definitely a wise approach to working with these Sun-Neptune vibes. Exploring your multi-faceted talents in art, music, dance, poetry, film and photography are other ways to tap into the higher energy-field associated with Neptune. Be aware that a nearly 3-hour void lunar uncertainty zone happens from 2:23PM PST until 5:17PM PST when the Moon enters airy Libra. Thereafter, the cosmic emphasis shifts in the direction of improving the quality of your primary partnerships.
daily humorscopes for sunday, november 20th
the daily humorscope
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Everyone who drives by today will stick their head out their car window, give you a big dopey look, and flop their tongue around in the wind. If you had known this was “act like a dog” day, you might have been better prepared.
You are being watched by a large penguin. Act normal.
Beware! The Celestial Jade Emperor may banish you to the Big Grumpy Place if you don’t start paying more attention to the four Winds. Obviously, this is a metaphor, somehow involving Cleveland.
Nobody knows the trouble you’ve seen. Except for Bob, that is. You know – the quiet neighbor, with the binoculars?
You’ve been getting tired of the same old “look”, day after day. Maybe you should get a tattoo? I’ll bet people with tattoos never get tired of ’em!
Good day to embrace diversity. Wear mismatched shoes.
Today an ecologically-minded organic foods co-op will move into your home, while you’re away. You’ll be smelling whole-wheat fig bars for months, even if you succeed in extricating them. (Which is unlikely, in today’s political climate. They need somewhere to hide. Have a heart.)
Excellent day to tell everyone you know that a “horsepower” is a unit of power equal to 746 watts in the U.S., but which is not quite equivalent to the English horsepower, which is 550 foot-pounds of work per second. Once their eyes glaze over, you can borrow money from them without them even fully realising it.
You will find a strangely heavy small gold ring today, embedded in the centre of an obviously volcanic rock. There is some writing, in a script unlike any you’ve ever seen, running around the ring, although you can’t really see it unless you heat it up in a fire…
Excellent day to slurp soup. Remember: if you’re going to do anything, do it well. Obviously, that includes slurping.
This is a good time to get out there and make a difference! I’m often tempted to do that, but I just can’t figure out where “there” is — every time I get there, it’s here. Maybe if I run really fast? Oh well, if you figure it out, be sure to make a difference.
You’re getting a little carried away with the idea of selling banner ads to make extra cash. On the other hand, a totally bare forehead is a bit of a waste of space…
Daily Affirmation for Sunday, November 20th
the daily humorscopes for saturday, november 19th
the daily humorscope
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will have an enormously exciting day, today, compared to your usual day. You will find the prize in the cereal box.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Time for an excursion! Remember to pack some sandwiches, and carry a large ball of twine (it’s easy to get lost in the city — the twine should help).
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You will be able to get out of doing an unpleasant task today, by pretending you are a chicken.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
A very short and hairy person will bother you today. Unfortunately, you will be unable to ignore them, try though you might.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will start having strange dreams of becoming an aquatic creature. Eventually, you’ll spend nearly all your time in the water, and will attempt to get strangers to throw you fish.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Good time to start on your trophy collection! (You can have them made for yourself, you know.) Personally, I’ve won the “International Tiddly Wink Open” three years running.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You will begin an evil project, in secret. You will be successful. Although why you want to produce a cross between a St. Bernard and a chihuahua is anybody’s guess.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Time to throw down the gauntlet. Or, if you can’t find a gauntlet, a ski mitten will do. Just make sure you throw it down. (That’s one heck of a lot more fun than throwing it up.)
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
That bad smell in the closet will get stronger. Time to investigate.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will invent a new type of lingerie, and will make millions. The stripes are the key to your success. You will call it “Ze Bra”.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Ian McHarg once said, “Man is a blind, witless, anthropocentric clod who inflicts lesions upon the earth.” You will come up with a brilliant rebuttal to this, soon. You will say: “So?”
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Your window of opportunity is rapidly closing! Don’t worry too much, though – the screen door of possibility is still ajar.
Your Horoscope Bird of Power
Your Horoscope Bird of Power
- posted by Annie B. Bond
Inspired by Earth Magic, by Claire Nahmad (Inner Traditions, 1994).
Ever wish you could fly? Your sun sign is traditionally associated with different birds that can carry messages to the Great Spirit for you, offer spirit-support and healing, or sing a song for your soul.
Find out which birds are your horoscope birds of power here.
Aries, March 21-April 19: Vulture, magpie, robin.
Taurus, April 20-May 21: Dove, sparrow, swan.
Gemini, May 22-June 20: Parrot, linnet, eagle, finch.
Cancer, June 21-July 22: Seagull, owl, white peacock.
Leo, July 23- Aug. 22: Peacock, rooster, eagle.
Virgo, Aug. 23-Sept. 22: Rooster, magpie, parrot.
Libra, Sept. 23-Oct. 22: Dove, swan, sparrow.
Scorpio, Oct. 23-Nov. 21: Eagle, vulture.
Sagittarius, Nov. 22-Dec. 21: Eagle, peacock, bird of paradise.
Capricorn, Dec. 22-Jan. 19: Owl, falcon.
Aquarius, Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Cuckoo, albatross.
Pisces, Feb. 19-March 20: Swan, stork, sandpiper.
Your Weekend Love Horoscope for Nov. 18th – 20th
by Jeff Jawer
A Different Kind of LoveNovember 18 – 20 |
Serious fun is on the menu for Friday night, even though the Moon’s move into methodical Virgo — a sign more associated with work than play — occurs earlier in the afternoon. The Virgo Moon’s practicality and focus on details can burst romantic bubbles and ground high hopes. However, the analytical abilities of Virgo may also be applied to untangle knots of misunderstanding and correct unhealthy habits. But on Friday night the Moon’s harmonious trine with jolly and generous Jupiter, followed by a conjunction with passionate Mars, can provide the motivation and enthusiasm to learn a new dance or cook a complex dinner, all in the name of pleasure. Demonstrating efficiency or cultivating skills may not sound sexy, but competence is a very desirable and useful quality now.
Saturday is perfect for doing tasks with the one you love to combine productivity and closeness. Sunday’s mood is extremely different with the steamy Scorpio Sun’s strong square to fantasy-loving Neptune. This dreamy and spiritual aspect and the Moon’s shift into lovely Libra in the afternoon provide a delightful atmosphere for romance. Use imagination to create a unique environment or a special experience that’s a getaway from ordinary reality, and a ticket to a dreamland where worries melt away and two hearts can beat as one.
the daily humorscopes for friday, november 18th
the daily humorscope
Friday, November 18, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you will have to take someone aside and gently explain that a “briefcase” is not actually for undergarments. Remember: you probably made a few silly mistakes yourself, when you were just starting out.
You will spend the day discussing whether the main problems in the world are due to ignorance or apathy. Personally, I don’t know and I don’t care.
Good day to wear overalls and discuss bean farming with retired people at a diner or family-style restaurant. Or at least, that’s a lot more fun than what you’d be doing otherwise.
This week, you are the bug and everyone else is the really huge shoe. Your objective: don’t be noticed.
You will tend towards simplicity in your life. The Voluntary Simplicity movement has been gathering momentum lately, so you’ll have plenty of company. And heck, who cares if it’s “voluntary”, right?
Another one of those excrutiatingly boring meetings today. Try to liven things up by summoning one of the people back from the dead.
You will be traumatized by an episode with a stapler, today. You will be unable to even look at a stapler for several weeks, without trembling.
Today you will see a free floating full torso vaporous apparition! It’ll turn out that your glasses are smudged.
Beware of rodents.
You will become embroiled in yet another argument about crustaceans today. You will easily trounce your opponent, who will leave in a huff. He’s just being crabby, if you ask me.
Time to commit some random acts of kindness. I have developed an algorithm for this. The next time someone asks you for a quarter (or any small coin), take one out of your pocket, and toss it in the air. Heads, give it to them. Tails, put it back in your pocket, and tell them you haven’t got any. Or whatever – remember, the important thing is to be RANDOM.
What you need, mainly, is computerized shoes. Try to get the ones with the built-in serial port, so you can download a different average speed and average daily distance, to impress people. And you might as well get the ambient temperature readout, GPS, and pager options while you’re at it.
Your Horoscope Holiday Heads-Up
Your Horoscope Holiday Heads-Up
- posted by Cait Johnson
By Cait Johnson, co-author of Celebrating the Great Mother (Inner Traditions, 1995).
Each sign of the zodiac embodies certain challenges and qualities. When we know what these are, our horoscope sun sign can give us such a useful heads-up on some things to watch out for in this sometimes-stressful holiday season! For instance, is your sign prone to over-socializing? You may want to rethink going to that thirteenth party. Does your sign need to run the show? You might delegate some of the responsibility before you burn right out.
Find out what your horoscope can tell you about the best way to have truly happy holidays. We even include a helpful holiday affirmation for each sun sign, right here:
Aries, March 21-April 19: Watch out for your tendency to think that only you can do everything: avoid holiday burn-out by delegating responsibilities whenever you can. And be sure to get plenty of outdoor exercise to help keep your fiery nature on an even keel: you don’t want an angry remark of yours to cause any rifts this holiday season. The holidays will still be beautiful even if everything doesn’t get done.
Taurus, April 20-May 21: Be aware that you can get just a little set in your ways around seasonal traditions. This year, try something new! Even if it only involves buying a tree you can plant after the holidays rather than a cut tree, or using your grandmother’s tablecloth on the festive table rather than the one you’ve used for years, remember: Change is good: embrace it.
Gemini, May 22-June 20: Be sure to take time as often as possible to ground and center yourself so that you can be deeply present in the moment rather than flitting from thing to thing. The deepest and most meaningful experiences are often found in stillness.
Cancer, June 21-July 22: This year, do what you can to accept and love your sensitive self as fully as possible; cultivate a positive relationship with the image in your mirror no matter how many cups of eggnog or slices of mince pie you consume. Remember, the body is the home and sanctuary of the soul. And there‘s no place like home.
Leo, July 23- Aug 22: This year, you may want to try creating opportunities for others to shine as brightly as you do: try coaching a children’s choir, or getting a group together to put on a benefit performance for a worthy cause. When we encourage others to glow, the whole world grows a little brighter.
Virgo, Aug 23-Sept 22: Your attention to detail could get compulsive unless you take some time to deeply enjoy the pleasures of the season. You might want to read up on essential oils or herbs that are seasonal allies. The earth and all her gifts are sacred and give me comfort.
Libra, Sept 23-Oct 22: Wanting to be all things to all people could lead you into an exhausting round of social obligations unless you set time aside for your own peace of mind. Maintaining a personal sense of balance is my most important task. It is not my sole responsibility to create harmony in every social situation.
Scorpio, Oct 23-Nov 21: Your easily-offended nature will have many opportunities to take umbrage unless you detach and try not to take things so personally during the festive season. Find heart’s ease in the deeper spiritual meaning of the holidays.
Sagittarius, Nov 22-Dec 21: Be wary of spreading yourself so thin and being the sparkling light in so many people’s lives that you neglect your own fire. Rekindle your spirit’s flame in the soothing dark and silence.
Capricorn, Dec 22-Jan 19: If you feel you must work hard and harder during the holidays, please do yourself and your loved ones a favor and take a break. Simply being, not producing or doing, is my first priority.
Aquarius, Jan 20-Feb 18: Be sure to set aside enough quiet time with your nearest and dearest; use your imagination to invent meaningful activities to share with those you love. I can use my creativity in the service of deeper connection with my loved ones.
Pisces, Feb 19-March 20: Your empathy with the sufferings of others will simply bring everyone around you down unless you find ways to channel it helpfully. Find something you can do on a local level to reach out and be of service. I can share in human joys as well as human suffering.
the daily humorscopes for thursday, november 17th
the daily humorscope
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you will overhear people talking about you, and realize that you’re an incredible bore who nobody likes. Go to the library and ask the librarian for advice.
You will go on a boat ride, and a deranged bunny will swim towards you in a threatening manner. Unfortunately, this episode will be caught on videotape by a tourist, and your dreams of a political career will be forever dashed.
Good day to learn a new trick for dealing with people who come by your home to try to sell you something. Open the door v..e..r..y slowly, and squint at them. Then resume sharpening a large kitchen knife, while they are talking at you.
You will get through the day without too much trouble today. It would go even more smoothly, however, if you had bought that laser cannon when you had the chance.
Beware of short people.
You will invent a cool machine that will automatically make over 800 different varieties of coffee drinks. Unfortunately, everyone will go back to drinking just plain coffee.
You will read an oevre in a new genre. Actually, it will be an X-Men(tm) comic book, but you’ve never been one of those stuffy people who are unwilling to try new things.
You will make several somewhat inadvisable impulse purchases today. Fortunately, you will be able to return all of them, except for the Hormel “100 Years Of SPAM!” decorative wall clock.
You will develop the extremely rare “Perkin’s Disease”, and will start having a strange compulsion to shoot things with tranquilizer darts, or sell insurance. Plus, you will try to trick your friend, “Jim”, into wrestling a giant anaconda.
You will find happiness. It will look a lot like tranquility, only a bit fluffier.
It will occur to you to wonder, what if Jesus had actually said “The geek shall inherit the earth”, but was just misquoted? Then you’ll think of Bill Gates. Then you’ll start to worry.
Someone you don’t like will make repeated attempts to talk to you today. The best way to handle this is to stuff extremely crunchy food in your mouth during each attempt, and then mumble “What?” while looking at something slightly over their left shoulder.
Your Horoscope Animal Allies
Your Horoscope Animal Allies
- posted by Annie B. Bond
Adapted from Earth Magic, by Claire Nahmad (Inner Traditions, 1994).
Most of us know our birthstone (although I have never liked mine, preferring the one for January, go figure), but how many of us know the animals that are traditionally associated with our astrological sun sign?
Your horoscope’s power animals may surprise you! Find out what they are, right here:
You may want to honor your sun sign’s animals by bringing small pictures or figurines of them into your life, and thinking about their qualities.
Aries, March 21-April 19: Ram, tiger, leopard, stallion, vulture, magpie, robin.
Taurus, April 20-May 21: Bull, cow, dove, sparrow, swan.
Gemini, May 22-June 20: Dog, squirrel, serpent, parrot, linnet, eagle, finch.
Cancer, June 21-July 22: Crab, otter, seal, stag, heifer, unicorn, seagull, owl, white peacock.
Leo, July 23- Aug 22: Lion, wolf, griffin, peacock, rooster, eagle.
Virgo, Aug 23-Sept 22: Rooster, squirrel, magpie, parrot.
Libra, Sept 23-Oct 22: Hart, hare, dove, swan, sparrow.
Scorpio, Oct 23-Nov 21: Scorpion, wolf, panther, dog, wild boar, eagle, vulture, dragon, griffin, phoenix.
Sagittarius, Nov 22-Dec 21: Mare, lion, unicorn, eagle, peacock, bird of paradise.
Capricorn, Dec 22-Jan 19: Dog, elephant, goat, bear, owl, falcon.
Aquarius, Jan 20-Feb 18: Dog, otter, cuckoo, albatross, phoenix.
Pisces, Feb 19-March 20: Sheep, ox, seal, swan, stork, sandpiper.
the daily humorscopes for tuesday, november 15th
the daily humorscope
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you will become a digger. Dig, dig, dig. That’s all you’ll think of, for months. You will discover an amazingly large diamond, about 27 feet down, and will be fabulously rich after that. Not that you’ll give me any credit, of course. Ingrate!
The phrase “return your tray tables to the upright and locked position” will cycle endlessly through your mind, today. It’s not serious. (But you should probably consider cutting down on the honey-roasted peanuts.)
Happy Frog Day!! Let’s hear it for our little amphibious friends!
Someone will tell you today “Boy, what a girl goes through to send her brother through proctology school.” Despite being forwarned, you won’t have anything to say.
Today you will read a small booklet titled How To Make A Fortune in Frog Farming, which will change your life.
Today is an excellent day to wink slyly at people, just as they are turning away. When they look back, smile innocently.
Have you ever considered adopting a new life as a “mountain-person”? Living in the vast mountains and forests of Alaska, hewing an existence from the unforgiving wild Nature of our ancestors? Nope, me neither.
Good time to consider capitalizing on the wave of 70’s nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why not try making shag carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and discuss it.
You will join the ranks of the hipster cognoscenti. It’ll be fun at first, but later you’ll start secretly craving casseroles, and it will eventually become such an intolerable pressure that you’ll abandon your pale, pierced friends with the clever haircuts and move to Minnesota.
Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it.
Today you will deliberately annoy people by standing too close to them when waiting in line. Tomorrow: standing just slightly too far away.
You’ll have a brilliant idea, but nobody will take you seriously. You should be able to will them over with pure logic, however. There must be millions of bonsai enthusiasts out there – how many of them wouldn’t want an itsy bitsy chainsaw? Maybe if you start off with the little teensy shovel and wheelbarrow?
Grow Your Own Lunar Calendar
Grow Your Own Lunar Calendar
Author: Bran th’ Blessed
The earliest lunar calendars were small sticks into which some Neolithic hunter carved notches to count the days between full moons. This hi-tech device required no battery replacement and was accurate within plus or minus three days of the actual lunar cycle from new moon to new moon. Depending on the hunter, of course.
By such means, it eventually became clear that the full moon occurred every 29 or 30 days. Rather than leave the one finger uncounted on the third go-round, the length of the lunar cycle was set at 30 days (three hands of days) . This length worked well with the estimated duration of the *Celestial Calendar* year, which was 360 days. You may think that the year-counting stick was not as accurate as the month counting stick, but there is always with us humans the expectation of symmetry, and even today it doesn’t set well with us that our year should not end at the end of the twelfth month—as our 12-month Gregorian calendars so clearly attest.
It is because our years were set to 360 days—in order to match precisely with twelve 30-day months—that the circle is ascribed with 360 degrees. The zodiacal path is set to 360 degrees for the 360 days the Sun takes to encompass that circuit, one degree per day.
The Moon, too, encircles the zodiacal path, but it takes only 30 days to do so. In those 30 days the Sun moves 30 degrees, so the Moon must move 360 + 30 = 390 degrees to catch up to the Sun again. While the Sun moves one degree each day, the Moon moves 13 degrees each day. At the end of 30 days, they are united again, but at the beginning of a different zodiacal sign: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer; Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio; Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces…the signs (constellations) of the zodiac. (I have excluded the zodiacal signs, Doris and Butch, as these have grown into disuse over the ages. Pity.)
The Celestial Calendar provides further symmetries with 24 fifteen-day *Esbats* in each year, corresponding with the risings and settings of the zodiacal signs. There are three esbats (45 days) in each of the eight *Sabbats* of the year: The Solstices (Yule and Litha) , Equinoxes (Ostara and Harvest) , and four Cross-Quarter Sabbats (Winterwatch, or Imbolc; Beltane, Lughnasa, and Samhain) , and there are two sabbats (90 days) in each of the four seasons of the year.
This Celestial Calendar, however, is poorly matched by the realities of our astronomy. The Earth takes 365¼ days (not 360 days) to move from Winter Solstice to Winter Solstice. The Moon takes 29½ days (not 30) to move from full moon to full moon, and twelve months is actually only about 354 days. Alas, for a more perfect world, eh?
My *Pagan Seasonal Calendar* corrects the Celestial Calendar’s error in the measure of the year by adding five intercalary days to every year, four midseason, cross-quarter sabbat days and one end-of-the-year day. Winterwatch is added between the third and fourth Esbats (my calendar begins and ends at Yule/Midwinter) . Beltane is added between the ninth and tenth Esbats. Lughnasa is added between the fifteenth and sixteenth Esbats. And Samhain is added between the 21st and 22nd Esbats. Year’s End is added at calendar’s end. At the end of every fourth year (called a Span) , a sixth intercalary day called Span’s End is added, equivalent to our “leap year’s day”. The Span’s End day is not added to the 32nd and final Span of a Gaian Era (which is 128 years) . These few adjustments make my Pagan Seasonal Calendar, incorporating the Celestial Calendar, more accurate than the Gregorian Calendar we use with respect to the length of the year. But of course, it does nothing to resolve the problem with the month.
Real lunar months cannot be conveniently aligned with real seasonal years. Various cultures have tried to devise methods for utilizing a lunar calendar, but the two cycles don’t dance the same dance. The Julian Calendar of the Romans and the Gregorian Calendar of the Catholic Church both follow the lead of the Celestial Calendar in making months as long as desired, 28 or 29 days, 30 or 31 days. Lunar calendar systems make each year twelve of thirteen moons in duration, but the systems are either complex or set by visual observations. For my calendar system, I decided to look for a lunar calendar system that is accurate and works well on its own, and then fret the details of coordination later. This isn’t rocket science after all. The lunar period data available today is accurate to ten decimal places and more, and a handy pocket calculator (batteries included) is all I needed for the simple division problems. So here we go.
The period from one full moon to the next is very close to 29½ days. Two moons are twice that, or 59 days. This 59 day lunar cycle is called a *Doublet*. The *Morning Moon* of any doublet begins at midnight opening the 1st day of the doublet and ends at midday of the 30th day of the doublet; the *Evening Moon* begins at midday of the 30th day and ends at midnight closing the 59th and final day of the doublet. Morning moons begin and end in the morning, between midnight and midday; evening moons begin and end in the evening, between midday and midnight. Both moons go halfsies on the 30th day of the doublet.
The degree of error in a 59-day doublet is such that one day must be added after sixteen such doublets (32 moons) . This period of 32 moons is called a *Cynthiad*. The sixteenth and final doublet of each cynthiad has 60 days instead of 59 days. That makes each cynthiad 945 days, or precisely 135 weeks. The degree of error in a cynthiad is much smaller and in the opposite direction, requiring us to eventually remove one day after 47 cynthiads. This period of 47 cynthiads is called a *Lunar Age*, and it’s about 121 years and pocket change. The last doublet of the last cynthiad in each lunar age does not have a day 60. This last modification keeps the calendar within one day of accuracy for about 66 lunar ages—which is eight millennia and pocket change.
Every cynthiad in this age begins on Sunday; it’s the 7th Age of Balder (or some other Sun God/dess of your choice?) in this *Lunar Epoch*. Because of the dropped day at the end of each age, the cynthiads of succeeding Ages begin one day earlier than those before them. Thus the next Age will be the 7th Age of Saturn, in which all the cynthiads will begin on Saturdays…then Fridays (Freya) , Thursdays (Thor) , Wednesdays (Woden) , and so on. (The Age of Woden, with its Wednesday cynthiads, will begin the 8th cycle of ages.)
As I write this, the upcoming new moon of October 26th, 2011, will be: the 1st day of the Elder Moon, the 16th Morning Moon of the 41st Cynthiad in the 7th Age of Balder, and the 1311th moon in that 46th full Age of the Lunar Epoch. This is the first day of the 16th doublet in the 41st cynthiad of this age.
I associate the 32 moons of a cynthiad with various totem creatures, although I’m not settled on any but the 28th moon (Crow Moon) at this time (and that of course only because it is the moon of my birth, so I name it for my own totem animal, the Crow) . Here are the sixteen doublets of a cynthiad and the names of their morning and evening moons. You should change these totems where you feel it appropriate, but I hope you’ll leave the 28th (Crow Moon) as it is.
Doublet – Morning Moon and Evening Moon
01 – Oak and Owl
02 – Redwood and Bear
03 – Ash and Fox
04 – Walnut and Deer
05 – Hawthorn and Rabbit
06 – Willow and Dove
07 – Pine and Coyote
08 – Cedar and Snake
09 – Holly and Otter
10 – Maple and Mouse
11 – Cottonwood and Buffalo
12 – Hickory and Hawk
13 – Cypress and Spider
14 – Sycamore and Crow
15 – Birch and Badger
16 – Elder and Wolf
There are only six and a fraction doublets in any given year. The doublets of this year (2011) have begun or will begin on the following dates.
(0) – November 6, 2010
(1) – January 4, 2011
(2) – March 4, 2011
(3) – May 2, 2011
(4) – June 30, 2011
(5) – August 28, 2011
(6) – October 26, 2011
(7) – December 24, 2011
(To find later dates, simply count down eight weeks and over three days on your calendar from the last known beginning doublet date.)
On the smaller scale of time, each moon (month) is viewed differently in this lunar calendar system. Three days make a *Lunar House* (or *Temple*) . Three houses belong to the *Maiden Goddess*, three more to the *Mother Goddess*, and three to the *Crone Goddess*. These nine houses mark the visible days of each moon. The other days of each moon belong to the dark moon House of Kore/Persephone. The days of each doublet are as follows:
Day 01 – (Morning Moon Begins) – Dark Moon – House of Kore/Persephone
Day 02-04 – Early Waxing Crescent Moon – House of Selene/Luna (Maiden)
Day 05-07 – Late Waxing Crescent Moon – House of Artemis/Diana (Maiden)
Day 08-10 – Early Waxing Ovate Moon – House of Hanwi (Maiden)
Day 11-13 – Late Waxing Ovate Moon – House of Ngame (Mother)
Day 14-16 – Full Moon – House of Ishtar/Isis (Mother)
Day 17-19 – Early Waning Ovate Moon – House of Nana (Mother)
Day 20-22 – Late Waning Ovate Moon – House of Mawu (Crone)
Day 23-25 – Early Waning Crescent Moon – House of Cereddwyn (Crone)
Day 26-28 – Late Waning Crescent Moon – House of Hecate (Crone)
Day 29-30 – (Morning Moon Ends) at Midday 30 – Dark Moon – House of Kore
Day 30-31 – (Evening Moon Begins) at Midday 30 – Dark Moon – House of Kore
Day 32-34 – Early Waxing Crescent Moon – House of Selene/Luna (Maiden)
Day 35-37 – Late Waxing Crescent Moon – House of Artemis/Diana (Maiden)
Day 38-40 – Early Waxing Ovate Moon – House of Hanwi (Maiden)
Day 41-43 – Late Waxing Ovate Moon – House of Ngame (Mother)
Day 44-46 – Full Moon – House of Ishtar/Isis (Mother)
Day 47-49 – Early Waning Ovate Moon – House of Nana (Mother)
Day 50-52 – Late Waning Ovate Moon – House of Mawu (Crone)
Day 53-55 – Early Waning Crescent Moon – House of Cereddwyn (Crone)
Day 56-58 – Late Waning Crescent Moon – House of Hecate (Crone)
Day 59 – (Evening Moon Ends) – Dark Moon – House of Kore/Persephone
I hope this lunar calendar will be useful to those who hate to wait for the Farmer’s Almanac to come out each year in order to know the new and full moon dates, which is what I used to do back in the age of dinosaurs when there were no computers. I have found this doublet system quite reliable for well over a decade. Sometimes the moon dates may be off about a day due to astronomical variations or when an intercalary day is coming due or has just been added. But I have noted very little such inaccuracy actually. I hope I have provided enough information for you to take it from here should you so choose. – Bran th’ Blessed
Footnotes:
None
Power Animals for Your Sun Sign
Power Animals for Your Sun Sign
- posted by Annie B. Bond
Inspired by Earth Magic, by Claire Nahmad (Inner Traditions, 1994).
Every sun sign is associated with several power animals that can help, guide, and teach us throughout our lives. Yours may surprise you! Find out which horoscope animals are your special allies here:
You may want to honor your sun sign’s animals by bringing small pictures or figurines of them into your life, and thinking about their special and helpful qualities.
Aries, March 21-April 19: Ram, tiger, leopard, stallion, vulture, magpie, robin.
Taurus, April 20-May 21: Bull, cow, dove, sparrow, swan.
Gemini, May 22-June 20: Dog, squirrel, serpent, parrot, linnet, eagle, finch.
Cancer, June 21-July 22: Crab, otter, seal, stag, heifer, unicorn, seagull, owl, white peacock.
Leo, July 23- Aug 22: Lion, wolf, griffin, peacock, rooster, eagle.
Virgo, Aug 23-Sept 22: Rooster, squirrel, magpie, parrot.
Libra, Sept 23-Oct 22: Hart, hare, dove, swan, sparrow.
Scorpio, Oct 23-Nov 21: Scorpion, wolf, panther, dog, wild boar, eagle, vulture, dragon, griffin, phoenix.
Sagittarius, Nov 22-Dec 21: Mare, lion, unicorn, eagle, peacock, bird of paradise.
Capricorn, Dec 22-Jan 19: Dog, elephant, goat, bear, owl, falcon.
Aquarius, Jan 20-Feb 18: Dog, otter, cuckoo, albatross, phoenix.
Pisces, Feb 19-March 20: Sheep, ox, seal, swan, stork, sandpiper.
the daily humorscopes for Monday, November 14th
the daily humorscope
Monday, November 14, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will be hit on the head by a carton of yogurt today, which will not strike you as being the least bit funny at the time. Later, of course, you’ll all have a good laugh about it.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good day to make a nice pot of gruel. Isn’t it strange, how difficult it is these days to find gruel on the menu at restaurants? Perhaps you should start your own restaurant (e.g. The Gruel Pot) to rectify that situation.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
A small packet containing 7 oddly-colored bean seeds will arrive in the mail today. There will be no return address, nor any indication of what they are. Only one way to find out…
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You’ve been complaining too much, lately. You might find more to enjoy in your life by watching a documentary about a lot of people starving to death in miserable third-world slums. I know that always cheers me right up!
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will be intensely jealous of a rival today. Finally, you will realize that it isn’t doing you any good to be jealous, so you’ll switch over to envy.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Good time to invest in stock. (The canned kind, not the dry kind.)
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
It will turn out that all of your life up until now was just a peculiar dream, and that you are actually still only 2 years old. You will find this vaguely irritating.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Good day to wear overalls and discuss bean farming with retired people at a diner or family-style restaurant. Or at least, that’s a lot more fun than what you’d be doing otherwise.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will be forced to re-evaluate your boss’ IQ, when you discover that he is looking forward to the release of “Titanic II”.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Remember: it usually helps convince everyone you are right, if you jump up and down and yell.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
This week will find you explaining gender roles to the clueless. For example, men MUST continue to channel surf on the TV, no matter how interesting the show is that they stumble onto. Women must watch what shows up on the channel they’re watching, no matter how boring it is. It’s just how these things are done. Women commit and regret it. Men don’t commit and regret it. It’s in our genes. Some kind of adenine/guanine/trampoline chemical thingie.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
It will occur to you that there may be something behind the heroic and daring exploits of people in commercials for snack foods. You are absolutely right – in fact, snack foods can be dangerous if over-indulged in. I once wrestled a giant anaconda after downing a bag of Ranch flavored potato chips and a Hostess HoHo.
the daily humorscopes for saturday, november 12th
the daily humorscope
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will invent a new sort of optical illusion today, involving 6 straight lines, an assortment of blobs, and a picture of an iguana. Everyone will gasp in amazement.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Excellent day to dig a very big hole. If you pile the dirt up around the sides, and make huge “paw prints” around it, you can have some fun by phoning a TV station and telling them about the gigantic gopher you saw.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today one or more close relations will pout. You will stoicly endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Excellent day to slurp soup. Remember: if you’re going to do anything, do it well. Obviously, that includes slurping.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You are at a turning point in your life. Turn left.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, is the rule for now. In fact, “nothing” will play a very large part in your future.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Soon, through no fault of your own, you will catch someone underlining words in a library book. It’s just one of those signs, you know? Before the Apocalypse.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will soon accidentally discover why it is that so many things “taste like chicken.” It’s because they ARE chickens, in clever disguises.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good day to start learning the violin. Interestingly, your neighbours will volunteer to pay for lessons. It’s selfless gestures like that which really help friendships blossom.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Today you will be struck by the notion that “Life is like one of those little cars that the Shriners get to drive”. You have a mind of great depth and profundity.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will unearth a small stone figurine, while digging in a garden. If you set it on your television and put a small bowl of fruit in front of it, those unsightly warts should clear up in a week or two.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
If you want someone to change, it’s often good to give them a painful option and a less painful option, and let them choose their own course. For example, “Do you want to pick up you own wet towel, dear, or would you like to have a live weasel stapled to your leg?”
Cosmic Calendar for November 11th
After the flurry of celestial excitement during the last 48 hours, it is likely that today ought to be more in the calm and reasonable astro-psychic category. For the most part, this is true — although this is the eleventh day of the eleventh month in the year 2011. Thus, if the number 11 seems to be extra prominent in your wheeling and dealing today, do not be too surprised. The Moon in Taurus squares Neptune in Aquarius (8:28AM PST) — suggesting that some temporary confusion may be creating a hazy, chaotic condition in society. This lunar aspect also starts a 3+ hour void uncertainty zone that lasts until 12:11PM PST when the Moon enters flexible and curious Gemini. Finish odds and ends during the lunar void time-period, but wait until the Moon’s entry into Gemini before starting new and bold ventures. Be more of a high-tech aficionado and computer wizard as the Moon makes a constructive, 60-degree rapport with revolutionary Uranus (2:08PM PST). Catch up on correspondence, educational and literary pursuits. During the 48 hours after any Full Moon, it is wise to keep sending out the illumination you have received to your fellow travelers on board Spaceship Earth. You may feel the need to protect your valuables and investments later on due to a fractious, 45-degree link-up between Vesta and Uranus (7:13PM PST). Research and investigative work are in the spotlight shortly thereafter when Saturn in Libra makes an inspirational, 72-degree tie to distant Pluto in Capricorn (7:35PM PST).
the daily humorscopes for friday, november 11th
the daily humorscope
Friday, November 11, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
In a surprising twist, the failure of another large London-based bank will be blamed on you, today. C’est la vie, non?
You will be in a somewhat ornery mood when you go out to an Italian restaurant tonight. You will insist on chopsticks.
Bring extra. You’ll need it.
Your obsession with Lapsang Souchong tea takes a turn for the worse, today, as you begin secretly soaking your undergarments in it. Professional help is indicated.
Excellent day to be expansive and benevolent. It will make people worry.
Avoid friends who’ve had sudden personality changes, today. And always watch the skies.
You will begin a spiritual journey. The karmic chaos which has surrounded you begins to settle into a new pattern. Also, you will become strangely fascinated by electric juicers.
You’ve just finished something, but you’re starting to wonder if it would be better if you tried it another way. Forget it — that way, madness lies.
Everyone will stare at you like deer in headlights this week at the office. Actually, you will later decide that driving your car around inside the office may not be your best-ever idea.
Someone will ask “How are you?” for the millionth time. You should celebrate the occasion by having a speech prepared – something embarassingly intimate is usually best. “Glad you asked, Bob. I’m having a darned tough time getting rid of these pesky genital warts, for one thing…”
Life is beginning to bet a bit stale, isn’t it? Whenever that happens to me, I concoct some sort of prune-related recipe and send it off to the food editor of the local daily. You might give that a try.
Today you will discover a troupe of gypsies hiding in your bathroom. They will leave when you ask them to, but you should expect a fair amount of grumbling.
Witches Of The Craft® 
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