A Little Humor for Your Day – Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They’ll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.

Funny Humor

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Well I told you I would probably end up…..

computer_bug

 

working out some more bugs this week before it was over with! One of the little devils crawled out of the keyboard, well really off the computer screen.

I gave everyone here at the WOTC the week off (except the guys & gal that helps with the critters). I did that were I could fix the computer and have some quiet time. I wanted the time to myself to fix the computers right. Well I did. The two computers were so screwed up, I had to wipe them totally clean. Then come to find out, Annie had dug through the disks’ files, mixed them all up and she had no earthly idea where the backup disks to the computers were. So I said fine, I will see you next week, all of you. Then I wiped the computers clean from their hard drives. I don’t what she did but nothing would come up on either one of the computers. I was able to open the computers up through their safe mode settings and go from there.

In the process of replacing everything else, I had to go and try to find the Microsoft Works package. When I found it, it was only $164.00. I said crap. That amount of money would feed and pay the light bill here, I couldn’t afford that. So instead, I went and downloaded this half-assed piece of poop. I believe it is called Office Open or Open Office, something like that. Anyway it has a mind of its own. I put the margins in place, go to type, their gone. I can be typing one spot, then my cursor is back at the beginning and I have screwed it all up.

Today, my good mood got shot down quickly. I put the Almanac on there, the Spell, Life As The Witch. I selected paste all of it. It was plainly left on the program here on my computer. I put it over in my old group on Yuku, thank goodness. By the time I got back to get the Correspondence, everything was gone. EVERYTHING!

So now, I am using the little notepad on my computer. I know ya’ll get tired of listening to me bitch but I swear if someone doesn’t know what they are doing, why do they do it anyway. WHY!

When it came to the horoscopes, the notepad wouldn’t cooperate at all. So I just stopped. I am trying to figure out what I am going to have to do. I know what I need to do but you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip.

Believe me, it does feel good to get this stuff off my chest. It is also a good thing I gave everyone in the office the week off. Or else you would have been reading about me in the paper. I don’t know it will work out somehow I hope. Just have a little more patience, please. I will get these programs back on these computers eventually.

I appreciate the patience you have already had with me. How about we say the heck with it and do some spells now.

 

Laugh of the Day for Dec. 26th – ‘There was life before the computer’

There was life before the computer

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,
It would hurt when you found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You’d be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut–you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider’s home
And a virus was the flu!

I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!