A Little Humor for Your Day – ‘You Might Be A Redneck if…..’

You Might Be A Redneck if……

Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite.

Burger King won’t let you do it your way, right away.

You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can’t remember your wifes birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.

You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can’t remember how old your children are.

Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts.

You think a computer hacker carries an axe.

You keep a chainsaw in the trunk “just in case”.

You’ve given your gun a woman’s name.

Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.

You go to the post office to research your family tree.

 

Source:

AHAJokes.com

Daily Feng Shui News for April 8th – ‘Buddha Day’

On ‘Buddha Day’ let’s see what Feng Shui has to say about placing Buddha statues in your living space for big blessings and benefits. This tradition tells that holy objects such as Buddha statues should be positioned in a place of honor and respect. Paintings and statues of Buddha should never be used as decoration. According to Feng Shui, the best place to place a Buddha statue is facing the front door so that the holy vibes ascribed to this symbol will welcome any energies coming through that space.

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com

Your Charm for Tuesday, April 8th is

Your Charm for Today

 Today’s Meaning:
What you need in this aspect is a bit of understanding. You can find happiness in abundance if you understand and accept the differences of those with whom you share your life within this aspect.

General Description:
This is an Egyptian group of amulets. The center ornament is the Lotus, from which hangs the emblem of Millions of years — Thou shalt never perish, never, never come to an end. The Lotus bestowed upon the wearer Light and Understanding, the gifts of the god Ra, their sun god, king of gods and of men. The Fish, the symbol of the Egyptian goddess who controlled the rising of the Nile brought Abundance and Riches. The other pendant is in the form of a lock of hair, the meaning of which is obscure.

 

Your Animal Spirit for April 8th is The Armadillo

Your Animal Spirit for Today

Armadillo

You’ll never get too close to Armadillo as his hard shell will keep you at arm’s length! And, if this roly-poly fellow is in your reading, he’s asking YOU to examine the areas where you need a hard shell—boundaries! Do you “do” for everyone but never “do” for yourself? Or, are you being TOO sensitive, protecting yourself even when danger isn’t present?

Your Ancient Symbol Card for April 8th is

Your Ancient Symbol Card for Today

The Lotus

The Lotus represents the spiritual self in its purest form. It reminds us that for most achieving a well developed spirituality is a journey which can be long and arduous. The spirit of the Lotus is not of our secular world, and the presence of The Lotus suggests that what is needed can be found by exploring your relationship with the Universe not as a physical entity pursuing material gain, but as a divine soul in need of celestial sustenance.

As a daily card, The Lotus is indicative of a period in which your energies should be focused on your spiritual self. This doesn’t mean you should forsake your possessions or place in our secular world. It simply implies you might be well served by reaffirming or further developing your spiritual self at this time.

Today’s Tarot Card for April 8th is The Moon

The Moon

Tuesday, Apr 8th, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What has traditionally been known as the Moon card refers to a deep state of sensitivity and imaginative impressionability, developed within a womb of deep relaxation. Here we dream and go into trance, have visions and receive insights, wash in and out with the psychic tides, and experience deep mystical and/or terrifying realities beyond our ordinary senses. The full moon and/or eclipse cycle charted by the Magi (as in some of the earliest Moon card images) exemplify this as a mechanism that Nature uses to expand consciousness.

The variants of the courtly lovers (representing skillful use of the sex force) or the man sleeping it off under the tree (use of drugs to alter consciousness) are also traditional avenues for tapping this primal force. Human interest in higher states propels us to the frontiers of consciousness, where we cannot always control what happens. The Moon card represents the ultimate test of a soul’s integrity, where the membrane between self and the Unknown is removed, and the drop of individuality reenters the Ocean of Being. What transpires next is between a soul and its Maker.

Get A Jump On Tomorrow: Your Horoscopes for Wed., April 9th

We might believe we can handle whatever reality tosses our way today. We may even feel excited about the future as the lively Leo Moon harmonizes with electric Uranus and the willful Sun, both visiting active Aries. Although we are eager to chase our dreams, satisfying our desires can be tricky because Venus and Mars, the cosmic lovers, are in a stressful alignment. Nevertheless, our willingness to take initiative should bring us closer to love.

Aries Horoscope

(Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You can accomplish a lot today as long as you don’t set work aside in order to pursue pleasure. Thankfully, overcoming obstacles is easier now because the Moon is traveling through your 5th House of Self-Expression while she supports the radiant Sun in your sign. However, it’s more important to deliver on your promises than it is to find immediate gratification. But don’t try to place the blame for your dilemma on external circumstances. Just consider the consequences of your actions and do whatever makes the most sense in the long run.

Taurus Horoscope

(Apr 20 – May 20)

You can’t escape your responsibilities today, yet you’re more likely to be concerned with expressing your desires than you are with meeting your current obligations. Your romantic heart may be in direct conflict with your pragmatic head, distracting you from accomplishing your work. Even if you are motivated to follow your feelings now, there’s no need to do anything about them. Allow your emotional stress to peak and then subside before swinging into action.

Gemini Horoscope

(May 21 – Jun 20)

You’re in your element if your coworkers turn this into a very busy day because you prefer to stay in motion now. You’re in rare form and can show off your wit and charm, flitting from one activity to another. However, irrepressible desires are brewing just beneath the surface, so don’t waste your time on trivial matters today. Take this opportunity to deliver a meaningful message. But keep some energy in reserve for when you will need it over the next several days.

Cancer Horoscope

(Jun 21 – Jul 22)

You can be so sensitive to other people’s moods that it’s often tough to take direct action, especially if you’re unsure of the reaction you may receive. However, instead of adopting a wait-and-see approach today, you’re more likely to respond without thinking to a complicated situation at work. But being wildly impulsive isn’t helpful either. Overconfidence leads to recklessness; it’s smarter to solve the existing problems now than to create new ones.

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your actions might seem transparent today with the demonstrative Leo Moon lighting up your 1st House of Personality. But you’re in touch with feelings that haven’t fully reached the surface yet, so someone may get the wrong idea about you. Paradoxically, your thoughts carry even more weight now because they are unspoken. Observe how others judge you without saying any more than is necessary. It’s better to share what’s on your mind after you figure out who you can trust with your secrets.

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your actions might seem transparent today with the demonstrative Leo Moon lighting up your 1st House of Personality. But you’re in touch with feelings that haven’t fully reached the surface yet, so someone may get the wrong idea about you. Paradoxically, your thoughts carry even more weight now because they are unspoken. Observe how others judge you without saying any more than is necessary. It’s better to share what’s on your mind after you figure out who you can trust with your secrets.

Virgo Horoscope

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You try to keep your preferences quiet today because you don’t want other people to know your likes and dislikes. You can easily rationalize hiding your desires because you’re unwilling to hurt anyone else’s feelings. Nevertheless, the dynamics are more complicated than they seem, since remaining silent about your needs further contributes to the awkwardness. Sharing your feelings in a sensitive manner encourages cooperation rather than resistance.

Libra Horoscope

(Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You want to demonstrate your appreciation for your coworkers and associates today, but you prefer to do it in an emotionally detached manner. However, your need for objectivity becomes more noticeable once you start sharing your feelings because others are likely to be more responsive than you expect. You may be required to confront your own ambiguity now, especially if someone reacts with great intensity. Even if you are resistant at first to revealing your vulnerability, you’ll feel relieved once everything is out in the open.

Sagittarius Horoscope

(Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Meeting your match is momentarily enchanting today as someone with lots of big ideas captures your imagination. However, you might wish that you could escape if the energy gets to be too much, but you won’t likely try very hard. No matter what you do now, philosophical conversations seem to follow you around. Fortunately, you can learn something quite valuable from your interactions with others. Keeping your mind open enables you to widen your horizons and cover new ground.

Capricorn Horoscope

(Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Nothing is as simple as it appears today; although you want to stick to your agenda, you find it tedious to follow the ins and outs of a complex conversation. Oddly enough, you’re feeling restless and you might prefer to jump around from one topic to another. Or, perhaps you just slip off and disappear into your daydreams where no one can find you. The tables are turned now since you’re the one who is seeking the fun and resisting the work. Let the good times roll.

Aquarius Horoscope

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Although you might appear to be open to change, your mind is probably already made up and more facts won’t likely alter your thinking today. Unfortunately, this rigidity on your part can amplify your troubles now. You don’t gain anything by allowing yourself to be controlled by unexpressed fears. Talking about your current apprehensions with a trusted friend is the most effective way to dissipate negative energy before it creates a more persistent problem.

Pisces Horoscope

(Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You would like to impress everyone with your hard work today, but it may be a struggle to walk your talk. Unfortunately, your immediate needs might be in conflict with those around you, making it more complicated to know what to do next. However, there’s no reason to set aside your desires just to placate others. Ultimately, you know what will work best for you, so quiet your mind and listen to your own intuition rather than seeking answers from anyone else.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Tuesday, April 8th

We are caught in a tug of war today between our own unrestrained self-expression and respecting other people’s boundaries. Controlling our aggressive tendencies may prevent conflicts but the Sun’s opposition to red-hot Mars makes it tough to cool off before realizing we’re in the heat of a battle. Meanwhile, the evocative Moon’s shift into dramatic Leo at 5:50 am EDT tips the scales toward overreacting rather than taking a more diplomatic route.

Aries Horoscope

(Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Set priorities and start tackling your to-do list early in the day. Although you’re eager to work hard, everything could still take longer than you think. You’re in a feisty mood today as the Sun opposes your key planet Mars, but it’s hard to know where to direct your passion. Relationship dynamics may feel tense now, making it crucial to avoid petty ego disputes. Don’t waste your energy trying to win an argument, even if you know you’re right. Taking the high road isn’t easy but it’s the most reliable path to success.

Taurus Horoscope

(Apr 20 – May 20)

Even if you were planning on kicking back and relaxing today, there’s more going on in your immediate environment than you can ignore. Attempting to avoid the action only creates tension now, for you’re likely to be pulled in by unplanned circumstances anyhow. It’s best to throw in the towel sooner than later, for you just might have fun once you let yourself be swept up in the social whirlwind. Embrace the element of surprise and anything can happen.

Gemini Horoscope

May 21 – Jun 20)

You have been operating on overdrive for a while now and you wish you could take some time off before you run out of steam. Although there are signs that you can slow down ahead, you won’t be let off the hook just yet. You might be able to amaze others with how much you accomplish, but burning yourself out in the process is surely not worth it. If you’re feeling somewhat depleted today, sneak away to recharge your batteries before you jump back into the race.

Cancer Horoscope

(Jun 21 – Jul 22)

Someone may be expecting you to do more than you can deliver and you don’t like to let anyone down even if you’re feeling overcommitted. In fact, you don’t want to miss out on any of the action now, so you might say yes before you think about the consequences. Allowing yourself to be talked into any activities that scatter your energy is not a good idea today. Creating healthy boundaries gives others the opportunity to respect your limits. Taking care of yourself is just as important as nurturing everyone else.

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your current service to others may be tied to your spiritual aspirations, but spinning lots of wheels at once can also prevent you from attending to your own dreams. Interactions with friends act as a catalyst now, sending you back into your colorful imagination. There is nothing wrong with entertaining your fantasies as long as you don’t use them to escape from a conflict in the real world. Nevertheless, avoiding unnecessary drama allows your generous spirit to shine while still leaving time for your inner journey.

Virgo Horoscope

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You have more time to figure out how to improve your cash flow, yet you still might believe that you have to make a decision right away. If you feel an overwhelming sense of urgency, take several deep breaths and step back from the situation. Hasty actions won’t be productive today, so consider all your options before you shift into gear. There’s no need to rush now; believe it or not, everything is unfolding according to schedule.

Libra Horoscope

(Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Someone’s behavior may not be totally transparent now and he or she might even be working against your good intentions. Don’t lash out if you discover that a friend isn’t being supportive; take what you learn in stride. Making others feel guilty will only waste your time and energy. Be thankful that you know the truth about what’s really going on, for what you don’t know can hurt you more than you think. Although it’s wise to watch your back, giving another person the benefit of the doubt is an exercise of compassion.

Scorpio Horoscope

(Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Unexpressed feelings can be complicated to manage if your anger or resentment has nowhere to go. Unfortunately, it could be tough to understand what is motivating you now and how deep your passions run. Don’t just jump into an argument today since you may be tricking yourself into believing that a simple solution exists. Move cautiously, for you are so receptive now that your emotions may be projecting from someone else. A current conflict is more easily resolved by doing your inner work than by just fixing something externally in your environment.

Sagittarius Horoscope

(Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Remaining practical while diving deeply into your own emotional reservoir can be a challenging task today. You’re probably reluctant to set aside unrealistic dreams, even if obligations are keeping you on a short leash. Stay true to your highest ideals by doing the most responsible thing. Be as thorough as possible when it comes to your work for more is going on than meets the eye. There’s a fine balance between taking care of business and honoring the whims of your heart.

Capricorn Horoscope

(Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Although you are extremely impatient today, honoring your responsible nature minimizes the chances of doing anything foolish. Fortunately, you have a secret reserve of energy, enabling you to finish what you start as long as you don’t fly off the edge on an emotional tangent. If you find yourself itching to do something else, just remember that there will be plenty of time later to start a new project. Be consistent and stay on your path without making any sudden changes in direction.

Aquarius Horoscope

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Trust what you feel in your body now instead of solely relying on your intellect to discover a solution. Nevertheless, you still need to dig beneath the obvious since you won’t be satisfied until you know the whole truth. Others may not understand your interest in subjects that seem

Mercury in Aries

Mercury in Aries

Brace yourself for fast talk and even speedier thoughts

Tarotcom StaffTarotcom Staff on the topics of mercury, astrology, aries

Watch your mouth! Mercury is moving through on-the-go Aries from April 7 – 23, 2014, so it’s time to brace yourself for fast talk and even speedier thoughts!

Mercury is the sprightly planet that impacts how we think and how we express ourselves. So Mercury in Aries will lift us out of a dreamy daze in how we perceive the world and the people around us. As Mercury transitions from peaceful Pisces to bold and brash Aries, our minds and our words will get less poetic and more action-oriented.

Aries is a Fire sign known for being impulsive, so be careful what you say! Comments might come out of your mouth before they’re fully formed, giving them a tinge of sarcasm or even an edge of insult — whether you intend them to or not. And even if we think we know the full impact of our words, there’s the danger that we haven’t thought far enough ahead about the effect they’ll have on those we care about.

At the same time, Aries is the first zodiac sign — literally, a true leader in Astrology. Our thoughts and speech could become more courageous, yes, but more than that, this pioneering sign could make us more innovative, too. It will be easier to think of fresh, brilliant solutions to nagging problems as we receive rushes of fresh inspiration. And with rebellious Uranus in Aries, too, we can really expect this innovative energy to fly off the charts.

But catch this inspiration as fast as it comes, because Aries is not known for being patient. In fact, it may be more difficult to complete everyday tasks if they lack the flavor of excitement.

Here are some tips to embrace the best parts of Mercury in Aries:

Don’t…

…get too caught up in the excitement of the moment; reconsider any commitments you’re about to make.
…allow yourself to get trapped in an argument, because neither you nor your friends or lover will be in the most logical place to resolve an issue.
…jump into too many new things at once.

Do…

…enjoy the fresh perspective you’ll experience when the no-holds-barred warrior sign takes control of your mental life!
…apply your taste for adventure and desire for new experiences to shake up your daily routine.

Your Daily Cosmic Calendar for Tuesday, April 8th

The Moon leaving void status in watery Cancer by entering fiery Leo (2:51AM) is a useful reminder that allowing your inner child to come out to play should happen more often than normal. Speak from the heart in vital discussions with loved ones as the Moon trines Mercury (5:57AM). The archetypes and qualities associated with the asteroid Pallas are blazing with white-hot intensity as this celestial body ceases retrograde motion (9:15AM) at 25 degrees of Leo and begins gradually moving direct. Problem-solving, strategy sessions, knowledge and wisdom, engineering and city planning, computer gaming and software design, inventive thinking, weaving, the genetic code, DNA and the immune system are all under the watchful eye of this crucial, mind-enlightening goddess. Mercury parallel Chiron (1:08PM) — adding a strong and favorable healing message — is another, seeming positive alignment that gives extra oomph to this 24-hour time-period. However, one, potentially treacherous aspect — the Sun in Aries in polarity to Mars retrograde in Libra (2:05PM) — has the potential to torch everything valuable around you and bring your key relationships to a standstill. The Sun and the red planet Mars always oppose each other in an approximate 2-year cycle. The reality is today is actually a Sun-Earth-Mars line-up in the solar system, in which Mars is closer to our planet than usual. The true goal here is not for the cosmos to act as a celestial mischief-maker regarding your primary partnerships, but for you and significant others to understand one another in a sensitive and yet revitalizing manner. Avoid ego battles and strive to come together in harmony rather than pull apart due to feelings of separateness and extreme individuality. [Note to readers: All times are calculated for Pacific Daylight Time. Be sure to adjust all times according to your own local time so the alignments noted above will be exact for your location.]

Calendar of the Moon for Tuesday, April 8th

Calendar of the Moon

 
8 Saille

Agni’s Day

Color: Red
Element: Fire
Altar: Upon a red cloth place a single torch, and light incense of cedar, and a bowl of melted butter mixed with warm milk, which is poured out as a libation during the chant.
Offerings: Speak the truth.
Daily Meal: Hot and spicy.

Invocation to Agni

Lord of the fire that brought us
From savages hunting in the cold
To humans who cluster around the light,
Fire that warms us, cooks our food,
Lord of golden teeth and swift tongue,
You who live in no god’s palace
For you are at home in every home,
Teach us your lesson of truth.
When the storm god, best friend
Of you, the god of lightning’s fire,
Stole a woman and confided only in you,
Fire god, you went and told her seeking lover,
And she was rescued, and you were cursed
By your own friend to be known always
As the One Who Eats All Things.
Yet you held your ground, telling him
That truth is higher in your estimation
Than any bond of the heart,
And to turn your eyes away from wrongdoing
Is a wrongdoing in itself.
Teach us to hold close to your truth,
Truth that burns and scalds and blisters,
Truth that is so painful that it can be mistaken
For some kind of small death.
This is the gift of the Fire God,
Agni the friend to all, who will play no favorites,
Scorch us with your purifying fire.

Chant:
Fire flow, fire flow through me,
Bonfire, brush fire, lightning strike.

 

[Pagan Book of Hours]

Calendar of the Sun for Tuesday, April 8th

Calendar of the Sun

 

8 Eostremonath

Day of Amon-Ra

Colors: Red and gold
Element: Fire
Altar: Upon a cloth of red and gold set an image of the Sun in a boat, ten red and gold candles, an incense brazier, a clay bowl of beer, and a bowl of polished colored glass stones.
Offering: Incense of musk and vetiver.
Daily Meal: Lamb or mutton. Lentils. Dates. Figs. Flatbreads. Beer.

Invocation to Amon-Ra

One day spins to an opening.
You come forth, Great Lord,
Hawk-headed, flying over the desert,
With your shrill cry,
Avatar of the sun’s killing light.
Little child by morning,
Grown man by noon,
Elder by evening,
Reborn again at dawn.
You sail on your golden boat
Across the sky each day,
And look down upon us in all your glory.
Teach us to shine, Great Lord,
And to reflect your light.
One day spins to a close.
You come forth, Great Lord,
Warrior with the ram’s head,
Father of war-kings, sire of legions,
God of great pillars that touch the sky,
Lord of the great reach, the burning spear,
The long march, the brave stand.
You run with your curling horns
Across the earth each day,
And look down upon us in all your glory.
Teach us to fight, Great Lord,
And not to fear the battle.

Chant:
Light of Sun
Day Begun
(Pass the beer and pour out the rest as a libation. Put out the candles and go.)

 

[Pagan Book of Hours]