A Little Humor – A Dog’s Letter To God

A Dog’s Letter To God

 

Dear God, Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

  1. I  will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
  2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
  3. I will not munch on   “leftovers” in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
  4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  5. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’. Neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.
  6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
  7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  8. I will not bite the officer’ s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration.
  9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
  10. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying   “hello”.
  11. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
  12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
  13. I will not throw up in the car.
  14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
  15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
  16. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
  17. I must remember to lick my butt after I lick their face, not before.

 

Turok’s Cabana