the daily humorscope
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Someone will attempt to get you to stay in one place today, by telling you that you are surrounded by 100 black poisonous snakes (which are invisible). You will make a daring escape, despite the risk involved.
Today you will have the eerie sensation that either you are going crazy or you are being watched by something indescribably evil. Luckily for you, you’re in fine shape, mentally.
Today will be a celebration of life, love, and art. Also, the start of a nagging fear that you’ll find out something terribly unpleasant while doing your taxes.
You will be plagued by feelings of inadequacy, and will have a feeling of ennui mixed with malaise. But don’t let it get you down!
You need to work harder on your friendships. Why, you sometimes don’t even like yourself that much, do you? Be nice to yourself this week – buy yourself some flowers or a nice gift. And stop suspecting yourself of having an ulterior motive!
You will come up with a theory about people – that you can learn a lot about them, simply by removing the first letter of their name. For example, Ron -> On. That’s why I’m on-line. That also explains why Hugh acts so primitive, sometimes. And if I were you, I’d avoid Alice.
Bad news: people think you’re becoming paranoid. Isn’t that just typical, though? I mean, they don’t even HAVE invisible malevolent air-squids spying on THEM, do they?
You just need to start believing in yourself. Try getting other people to clap their hands, if they believe in you.
Don’t worry — that fortune cookie was wrong.
A rare form of management disease will strike you today, where you can only speak in metaphors. Still, you’ll open the kimono and hit the ground running.
Today you will lie to yourself. Amusingly, you will be completely taken in, and will be very annoyed later when the truth comes out.
Your manager will be a twit, today. That’s ok, though — it’s what he’s paid for.
Witches Of The Craft® 