Lighten Up – Pagan Lightbulb Jokes

Pagan Lightbulb Jokes

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb? 13 consistng entirely of man-woman working couples

How many Rad fems does it take? 7: one to do it, 2 to organize the creche and 4 to debate the meaning of the word unscrew

How man Crowleyites does it take? They can’t. Uncle Aleister didn’t leave any instructions.

How many Chaos magicians does it take? They don’t need to–they are used to working in the dark.

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, one not to change it.

How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb? None. The universe changes the light bulb and the Zen Master gets the hell out of the way!

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a light bulb? 1. I can’t say. It’s oathbound. 2. I can’t tell you–you’re not a third-circle initiate!

How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb? 1. Same number as Gardnerians. 2. What do the Gardnerians do?

How many Dianic women does it take to screw in a light bulb? That’s W-I-M-M-I-N, and that’s not funny!

How many Solitaries does it take to change a light bulb? Who cares!

How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.

How many witches does it take to change a light bulb? 1. None… they call the electrician who’s also pagan and keeps the money in their community. 2. None — if a candle was good enough for Gramma it’s good enough for me!

How may light bulbs does it take to change a Gardnerian? None, they can do it all by themselves, thank you very much!!

How many Asatruar does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient, thank you.

How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.

How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb? Thirteen; one to hold the bulb, and twelve to drink enough to make the room spin.

How many ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb? One; he stands still with the bulb, and the universe revolves around him.

How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on what you want to change it into.

How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb? None. Crowley never wrote a book about it.

Lighten Up – Pagan Lightbulb Jokes

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb? 13 consistng entirely of man-woman working couples

How many Rad fems does it take? 7: one to do it, 2 to organize the creche and 4 to debate the meaning of the word unscrew

How man Crowleyites does it take? They can’t. Uncle Aleister didn’t leave any instructions.

How many Chaos magicians does it take? They don’t need to–they are used to working in the dark.

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, one not to change it.

How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb? None. The universe changes the light bulb and the Zen Master gets the hell out of the way!

How many Gardnerians does it take to change a light bulb? 1. I can’t say. It’s oathbound. 2. I can’t tell you–you’re not a third-circle initiate!

How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb? 1. Same number as Gardnerians. 2. What do the Gardnerians do?

How many Dianic women does it take to screw in a light bulb? That’s W-I-M-M-I-N, and that’s not funny!

How many Solitaries does it take to change a light bulb? Who cares!

How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.

How many witches does it take to change a light bulb? 1. None… they call the electrician who’s also pagan and keeps the money in their community. 2. None — if a candle was good enough for Gramma it’s good enough for me!

How may light bulbs does it take to change a Gardnerian? None, they can do it all by themselves, thank you very much!!

How many Asatruar does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient, thank you.

How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.

How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb? Thirteen; one to hold the bulb, and twelve to drink enough to make the room spin.

How many ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb? One; he stands still with the bulb, and the universe revolves around him.

How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on what you want to change it into.

How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb? None. Crowley never wrote a book about it.

Empty the Cup

Empty the Cup

 

A western scholar once visited a Zen master and asked to receive teachings. The master invited the scholar to tea, then proceeded to pour a cup for him. He did not stop when the cup was full but continued pouring until the tea overflowed. His point was that if a seeker’s mind is preoccupied, there is no room for wisdom. To gain in insight we must empty the cup of the mind, rather than pour precepts into it.

Daily Zen Meditation for August 19th

The world is unstable, like a house on fire. This is not a place where you stay long. The murderous haunt of impermanence comes upon you in a flash, no matter whether you are rich or poor, old or young. If you want to be no different from a Zen master or a buddha, just do not seek outwardly.

– Lin Chi (d 867?)

Daily Zen Meditation for 3/29

Far, far, the mountain path is steep
Thousands of feet up,
The pass is dangerous and narrow
On the stone bridge the moss and lichen green
From time to time, a sliver of cloud flying
Cascades hang like skeins of silk
Image of the moon from the deep pool shining
Once more to the top of Flowering Peak
There waiting, still
The coming of the solitary crane.


– Shih Te (c 730)