1. Thou shalt love and honor the Earth for it blesses thy life and governs thy survival.
2. Thou shalt keep each day sacred to the Earth and celebrate the turning of the seasons.
3. Thou shalt not hold thyself above other living things nor drive them to extinction.
4. Thou shalt give thanks for thy food to the creatures and plants that nourish thee.
5. Thou shalt limit thy offspring, for multitudes of people are a burden unto the Earth.
6. Thou shalt not kill nor waste Earth’s riches upon weapons of war.
7. Thou shalt not pursue profit at the Earth’s expense but strive to restore its damaged majesty.
8. Thou shalt not hide from thyself or others the consequences of thy actions upon the Earth.
9. Thou shalt consume material goods in moderation so all may share Earth’s bounty.
–Earnest Callenbach. 1990
The 13 Commandments
1. Thou shall not turn thy ex into a frog.
2. Thou shall not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
3. Thou shall not laugh at nekked snow sprites.
4. Thou shall not get drunk with thy Goddess’s wine.
5. Thou shall not sacrifice thy little sister.
6. Thou shall not go running around proclaiming thy witchhood if thy are in times of burning.
7. Thou shall not question the word of thy High Priestess – She is God.
8. Thou shall not laugh at being nekked at coven – thou shall be killed.
9. Thou shall not commit to signing anything that declares any single person as thy lord and savior.
10. Thou shall not invoke thy Watchtowers only to say “never mind”.
11. Thou shall not burn enough candles to burn thy house down.
12. Thou shall not have the magickal name “Sir Stinky Fartsalot”.
13. Thou shall not call coven only for laughs.