Lighten Up – The Hearing Test

THE HEARING TEST

There was an elderly gentleman who feared his wife was getting hard of hearing.

So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and told him of a simple informal test that he could give her so that he ( the doctor ) would have an idea of the severity of her problem.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response….”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for supper?” No response. So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again he gets no response. So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”

(I just love this!)

“Jack, for the fifth time, CHICKEN ! “

 

Lighten Up – Wisdom from Grandpa

WISDOM FROM GRANDPA

When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.

On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past – but never the present.

A foolish husband says to his wife, “Honey, you stick to the ironing, washin’, cookin’, and scrubbin’. No wife of mine is gonna work.”

Many girls like to marry a military man – he can cook, sew, make beds, and is in good health…and he’s already used to taking orders.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know ” why ” I look this way. I’ve traveled down a lot of roads in life and some of them weren’t paved.

When you are dissatisfied with aging and would like to go back to your youth….Remember about Algebra. !!!

Just because you have one
doesn’t mean you have to act like one.