Lighten Up – The Hearing Test

THE HEARING TEST

There was an elderly gentleman who feared his wife was getting hard of hearing.

So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and told him of a simple informal test that he could give her so that he ( the doctor ) would have an idea of the severity of her problem.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response….”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for supper?” No response. So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again he gets no response. So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”

(I just love this!)

“Jack, for the fifth time, CHICKEN ! “

 

Deity of the Day for August 23 is ULIKUMMIS

ULIKUMMIS

 Son of Kumarbis.  He was made to oppose Teshub.  There is also
mention that he destoys some of mankind.  However, he is actually described as
being blind, deaf, and dumb; as well as immobile.  He was made of stone and
placed on Ubelluris’ shoulder to grow.  He grew until he reached heaven itself.
When the gods found him, Ishtar removed her clothing and attempted to lull him
with music, but he didn’t see or hear her (as he was a blind and deaf creature).
The gods attempted to destroy him, but had no affect (he didn’t even notice).
Finally, Ea called for the Copper Knife that had been used in the seperation of
heaven and earth.  He then used the blade to sever Ulikummis from Ubelluris’
shoulder; lopping the creature off at the feet.  Teshub was then able to destroy
the creature totally.  It is interesting to note that this god’s name is the
same as a pair of twin volcanic mountains in Asia Minor.  This may explain why
he is said to be destroying mankind, even in his seemingly catatonic state.