Lighten Up – HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

 HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

1. Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

2. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?

Hay and corn.  And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

3. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bits so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.  Bottoms up!

4. Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

5. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good

6. Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it.  How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

7. Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

8. Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO .. Cocoa beans … another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

9. Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is so good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Feng Shui Daily Tip for December 16th

Yum — today is ‘National Chocolate Covered Anything Day,’ an energy that’s really easy to swallow. Chocolate actually comes from a plant appropriately named theobroma, which translates to ‘food of the gods.’ These trees are thought to be native to South America and were brought to Mexico by the Mayan civilization. Consequently, both the Aztecs and the Toltecs extensively cultivated cocoa trees. In fact, those ancient Aztecs enjoyed a drink that is believed to be the forerunner of today’s chocolate milk treat. This beverage was also drunk only by men of the upper classes. Women were forbidden to drink this special concoction because of its purported aphrodisiac effects. So the next time you decide to engage an embrace, be sure to serve some sort of chocolate drink with your strawberries and watch the sparks fly as this food bears some sizzling fruit!

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com