A Little Humor for Your Day – Senior Texting Codes

Senior Texting Codes

Now that we oldies can text, here are some helpful texting ideas.  Young people have their acronyms, now seniors have their own texting codes:

 

Top 10 Senior Texting Codes

* ATD – At the Doctor’s

* BFF – Best Friend’s Funeral

* BTW – Bring the Wheelchair

* BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth

* DWI – Driving While Incontinent

* FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

* FYI – Found Your Insulin

* LOL – Living on Lipitor

* ROFL…CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!

* TOT – Texting on Toilet

* WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)

Lighten Up – 16 Actual Police Comments Taken from Their Car’s Videos

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:* More werid but true 🙂

#16 “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

#15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

#14 “If you take your hands off the car,I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

#13 “If you run … you’ll only go to jail tired.”

#12 “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

#11 “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

#10 “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

#9 “Warning! You want a warning? O.K.,I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

#8 “Your answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

# 7 “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fairis a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop.”

#6 “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

#5 “In God we trust, all others we run through a DUI test.”

#4 “How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you had?”

#3 “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

#2 “I’m glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a personal friend of yours.
So you know someone who can post your bail.”

 

AND THE WINNER IS….

#1 “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets?

You’re right, we don’t.. Sign here.”