A Little Humor for Your Day – “Redneck Astrological Signs”

Redneck Astrological Signs

 

Okra December 22 – January 20
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

Chitlin January 21 – February 19
Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they’re uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he’s motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

Boll Weevil February 20 – March 20
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.

Moon Pie March 21 – April 20
You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It’s a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. “Big” and “round” are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It’s not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

Possum April 21 – May 21
When confronted with life’s difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a “don’t-bother-me-about-it” attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won’t work, and you may find your problems actually running you over.

Crawfish May 22 – June 21
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you’re always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically.

Collards June 22 – July 23
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the “melting pot” of life and share their essence with the essences of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards stay away from Moon Pies. It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

Catfish July 24 – August 23
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

Grits August 24 – September 23
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

Boiled Peanuts September 24 – October 23
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best – your friends and loved ones – may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

Butter Bean October 24 – November 22
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies.

Armadillo November 23 – December 21
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you?Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re not concerned with anything about today. You’re really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another mating possibility.

 

Source:

ecauldron.net

A Little Humor For Your Day – What is your Southern Sign?

What is your Southern Sign?

 

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners understand: See the list below…

OKRA (Dec 22 – Jan 20) Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 – Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 – March 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 – April 20) You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It’s not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM (April 21 – May 21) When confronted with life’s difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don’t-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person and mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 – June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you’re hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 – July 23) Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 – Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one’s whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 – Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well. You are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 – Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 – Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 – Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re not concerned with anything about today. You’re almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.

Source:

JokesWarehouse.com

 

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A Little Humor for Your Day – Redneck Astrological Signs

Redneck Astrological Signs

 

Okra December 22 – January 20 Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

Chitlin January 21 – February 19 Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they’re uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he’s motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

Boll Weevil February 20 – March 20 You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.

Moon Pie March 21 – April 20 You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It’s a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. “Big” and “round” are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It’s not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

Possum April 21 – May 21 When confronted with life’s difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a “don’t-bother-me-about-it” attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won’t work, and you may find your problems actually running you over.

Crawfish May 22 – June 21 Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you’re always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically.

Collards June 22 – July 23 Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the “melting pot” of life and share their essence with the essences of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards stay away from Moon Pies. It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

Catfish July 24 – August 23 Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

Grits August 24 – September 23 Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

Boiled Peanuts September 24 – October 23 You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best – your friends and loved ones – may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

Butter Bean October 24 – November 22 Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies.

Armadillo November 23 – December 21 You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you?Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re not concerned with anything about today. You’re really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another mating possibility

A Little Humor for Your Day – What’s Your “Southern” Sign?

What’s Your “Southern” Sign? Some of us (especially Southerners) are
pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what we
need are “Southern” symbols:

OKRA (Dec 22 – Jan 20) Although you appear crude, you are actually very
slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can
look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere.
Stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 – Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A
chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he’s motivated and
has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can
erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 – Mar 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re
unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore
deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very
intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their
right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.

MOON PIE (Mar 21 – Apr 20) You’re the type that spends a lot of time on
the front porch. It’s a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of
Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. This might be the year
to think about aerobics. Or – maybe not.

POSSUM (Apr 21 – May 21) When confronted with life’s difficulties,
possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a
don’t-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn,
people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not really
healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won’t work and
you may find your problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH (May 22 – June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an
office, you’re always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer
the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to
the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically,
but you have a very, very good head.

COLLARDS (June 22 – July 23) Collards have a genius for communication.
They love to get in the “melting pot” of life and share their essence
with the essence of those around them.. Collards make good social
workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal
life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won’t
work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 – Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the
heart, although one’s whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You
catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy
bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should
stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 – Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like
yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits.
You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a
club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or
bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all
these things, that serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 – Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help
your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best – your friends
and loved ones – may find that your personality is much too salty, and
their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really
much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody
you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the
road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop
for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 – Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter
Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be
proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter
what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too,
shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 – Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough
exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old
friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a
throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re
not concerned with anything about today. You’re really almost
prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want
to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another possibility

Laugh-A-Day for October 27 ~ Redneck Astrological Signs

Redneck Astrological Signs


Okra December 22 – January 20 Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

Chitlin January 21 – February 19 Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they’re uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he’s motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

Boll Weevil February 20 – March 20 You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the needto bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you arevery intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.

Moon Pie March 21 – April 20 You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It’s a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. “Big” and “round” are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It’s not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

Possum April 21 – May 21 When confronted with life’s difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a “don’t-bother-me-about-it” attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won’t work, and you may find your problems actually running you over.

Crawfish May 22 – June 21 Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you’re always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtubto the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically.

Collards June 22 – July 23 Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the “melting pot” of life and share their essence with the essences of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards stay away from Moon Pies. It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

Catfish July 24 – August 23 Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

Grits August 24 – September 23 Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, though, so maybe you should think about joininga club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

Boiled Peanuts September 24 – October 23 You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best – your friends and loved ones – may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over andstop for you.

Butter Bean October 24 – November 22 Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies.

Armadillo November 23 – December 21 You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you?Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re not concerned with anything about today. You’re really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another mating possibility.

 

Turok’s Cabana

Wishing All My Dear Friends A Very Happy & Blessed Sunday!

Sunday Images, Pics, Comments, Graphics
Good Sunday Morning, my friends! I hope you are having a fantastic weekend! I know the graphic above is a little corny but……I would love to be fishing right now, lol! It is still a little cold here to even think about fishing. But Kiki and I love to go fishing. Remember Kiki, she is my little baby Pom. Kiki and I were out in the yard yesterday pulling weeds and digging up the herb garden. I swear I never saw so many worms in my life. That is what got me to thinking about fishing. If I was going fishing and digging for worms, I won’t see a worm to save me. But that figures, doesn’t it? We have three ponds around us stocked with fish. Last year, Kiki and I went fishing every pretty afternoon we could. Kiki got used to going fishing. When I would pull in a fish, the little fart would jump on it. She would want to play with it and it was a fight getting the fish away from her.

It was hot one afternoon, probably about 90 and we had gone down to the pond. Kiki is furry as everything. When she is washed and groomed, she feels like a little, soft teddy bear. Well, I had just took her to the groomer’s and she looked gorgeous. Here we go to the fishing hole, I sit down and started to fish. Kiki was wandering around the bank. I caught a fish, here she came a running. I fought with her and finally got the fish and put him back in the water. I had noticed Kiki had quit wandering and was sitting and watching my line go out in the water. I didn’t think a thing about it. I brought my line in because a fish had stolen the bait. When I threw it back out, I be darned if Kiki didn’t jump in the damn pond and go after it. I was about to have a heart attack. The pond starts out swallow but in the middle no one knows how deep it really is. She started swimming like a fish out to the line. Well here I go in the pond, still holding the fishing pole and chasing her around the water. I finally got out to my hips and caught the little brat. I drug her back to the bank and I was mad. I made her sit on the bank and not move. Well in the middle of all this loop la, I had caught a pretty good size catfish and didn’t know. I sit down myself and something jerked the crap out of the line. I fished with two hooks on the line. The catfish was on the bottom hook. Here comes Kiki excited, she had never seen a catfish. I had him laying on the bank, getting the hook out of his mouth. Well the brat jumped on him and on him and on him, till finally she jumped right on that top hook. You never heard anything yelp like her in your life. I know it hurt and I cried and cried. I think I just threw the fish back in the water. I picked her up and calmed her down. She had the hook stuck in her front paw. I didn’t have a knife or nothing with me. So I took a lighter and burned the line from the pole. This freed her from the pole but not the hook. So I took off running to the house, which is about a half a mile away (I got my exercise that day!). I ran into the house and she was crying and whimpering. I sit down in the kitchen floor with her. Well here comes hubby and Kiki is his baby (though she is stuck up my butt constantly, lol!). He threw a fit and went into hysteria. I told him to calm down and get me the pliers from the junk drawer. He got them and thank the Goddess, the hook was only stuck lightly through her pad. I was able to gently remove the hook with the pliers. I ran and took her to the bathtub to clean her paw and she stunk to high heaven. So I just gave her a bath. After that I gave her something for pain and she calmed down. Then I knocked my husband in the head and he calmed down, NOT! I am not a violent spouse, yet, keyword “yet!” He informed me I was never to take her fishing again. Yeah right, we have done made our fishing plans for this year. We have figured out, I am only going to fish with one hook this year, lol! No more doggie fish for me!

You know after a memory like that, I don’t think I would rather be fishing right now, lol! Instead I would rather be sitting here doing just exactly what I am doing!

Have a great one, my friends!