the daily humorscope
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Seek out new life, and new civilizations, today. Boldly go where no-one has gone before (just don’t get caught).
You will believe a completely rediculous hoax about a computer virus today, and everyone will tease you mercilessly.
Today you will stumble across conclusive proof that cilantro is actually the main ingredient in detergents and soaps, and that its culinary use started as a joke — it’s just that most people are too shy to admit that they’d rather spray Lysol on their burrito than put cilantro on it.
Good day to take up Rap music as a career. Either that or plumbing. (Most people are strangely unaware of the similarities.)
Today you’ll try the old “goat in a box” trick, on your new boss. It’ll backfire, though, and you’ll be the one with the clown shoes.
You will soon need to look older than you actually are. Bushy eyebrows generally do the trick. You’ll find that a little rubber cement and a pair of sleepy hamsters are just what you need.
Seek out new life, and new civilisations, today. Boldly go where no-one has gone before (just don’t get caught).
You will be conducting naval maneuvers in the bathtub today, when you will have an unfortunate accident involving your toy submarine. The visit to the emergency room will be most embarrassing.
You, for one, have just about had it with all this “Globalisation”. Time to go on a diet!
Leek soup day, today. Despite your recent tendency towards shoplifting vegetables, I highly recommend you buy a leek, not take one.
Today you will be “mooned” by a cat. Fortunately, you won’t notice.
Bad news: people think you’re becoming paranoid. Isn’t that just typical, though? I mean, they don’t even HAVE invisible malevolent air-squids spying on THEM, do they?
Witches Of The Craft® 