the daily humorscopes for friday, november 25th

 

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Go find something flat, and scribble on it. People have been doing that for tens of thousands of years, and it’s mostly been ok.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Good day to skip. In fact, skipping is good exercise, and I’m certain that if you just get a few friends to go along with you, you can start a cultural movement of just as much importance as running and walking. The main problem, of course, is to figure out what sort of “skipping” shoe Nike is going to come out with.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Good day to buy chocolate for someone you love.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You will think of something hysterically funny, but not have anyone to tell it to.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Good time to go into business making measuring spoons. Good ones to start with would be a “smidgeon” and a “pinch.”

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll become best pals with a large invisible rabbit, today. Well, actually he’s a “puka”, which is a type of Celtic spirit, but he’ll look like a large invisible rabbit.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

While looking through comparative salary figures, who will discover that the job of “Village Idiot”, in many metropolitan areas, pays better than that of the mayor. Don’t even consider a career change, though — it’s a lot harder that it sounds.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You will find yourself in a huge handbasket, before the end of the day, and it will be getting much warmer than you like.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You will independently re-discover an old Celtic trick, which will help considerably with an upcoming math test. In particular, you’ll find that painting yourself blue may do little for your own mathematical abilities, but it will be a significant distraction for everyone else.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

Excellent time to show the world that plaid and stripes do too mix. (Tip #12 of Arnold Pinknobble’s “How To Get Noticed”.)

Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)

This week, try to live your life based on the ad copy of a men’s cologne. For example: “The mood of the sea, and the spirit of the wind” (Cool Water, by Davidoff) Or perhaps: “Disturb the equilibrium” (Catalyst for Men, by Halston)

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

It’s time to get a new perspective on your job. Try to think of work as a great big funhouse. Just without the fun.