the daily humorscope
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you will become a digger. Dig, dig, dig. That’s all you’ll think of, for months. You will discover an amazingly large diamond, about 27 feet down, and will be fabulously rich after that. Not that you’ll give me any credit, of course. Ingrate!
The phrase “return your tray tables to the upright and locked position” will cycle endlessly through your mind, today. It’s not serious. (But you should probably consider cutting down on the honey-roasted peanuts.)
Happy Frog Day!! Let’s hear it for our little amphibious friends!
Someone will tell you today “Boy, what a girl goes through to send her brother through proctology school.” Despite being forwarned, you won’t have anything to say.
Today you will read a small booklet titled How To Make A Fortune in Frog Farming, which will change your life.
Today is an excellent day to wink slyly at people, just as they are turning away. When they look back, smile innocently.
Have you ever considered adopting a new life as a “mountain-person”? Living in the vast mountains and forests of Alaska, hewing an existence from the unforgiving wild Nature of our ancestors? Nope, me neither.
Good time to consider capitalizing on the wave of 70’s nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why not try making shag carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and discuss it.
You will join the ranks of the hipster cognoscenti. It’ll be fun at first, but later you’ll start secretly craving casseroles, and it will eventually become such an intolerable pressure that you’ll abandon your pale, pierced friends with the clever haircuts and move to Minnesota.
Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it.
Today you will deliberately annoy people by standing too close to them when waiting in line. Tomorrow: standing just slightly too far away.
You’ll have a brilliant idea, but nobody will take you seriously. You should be able to will them over with pure logic, however. There must be millions of bonsai enthusiasts out there – how many of them wouldn’t want an itsy bitsy chainsaw? Maybe if you start off with the little teensy shovel and wheelbarrow?
Witches Of The Craft® 