Murphy’s Other Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.
7. Nothing is foolproof, to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Zen Thoughts … for those who take life too seriously
- I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- A day without sunshine is like…, night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- 99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Remember, half the people you know are below average.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
- Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
- Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
- OK,….. so what’s the speed of dark?
- How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
And your final Zen thought for the day….. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?