Tag: Empathy

Are You An Empath?

Are You An Empath?

Basic Empathic Characteristics

By Christel Broederlow, About.com

 

Empathy is the ability to read and understand people and be in-tune with or resonate with others, voluntarily or involuntarily of one’s empath capacity.

Empaths have the ability to scan another’s psyche for thoughts and feelings or for past, present, and future life occurrences. Many empaths are unaware of how this actually works, and have long accepted that they were sensitive to others.

Empaths Sense Deep Emotions

Empathy is a feeling of another’s true emotions to a point where an empath can relate to that person by sensing true feelings that run deeper than those portrayed on the surface. People commonly put on a show of expression. This is a learned trait of hiding authentic expression in an increasingly demanding society.

An empath can sense the truth behind the cover and will act compassionately to help that person express him/herself, thus making them feel at ease and not so desperately alone.

Empaths experience empathy towards family, children, friends, close associates, complete strangers, pets, plants and inanimate objects. Empathy is not held by time or space. Thus, an empath can feel the emotions of people and things at a distance. Some are empathic towards animals (ie: The Horse Whisperer), to nature, to the planetary system, to mechanical devices or to buildings etc. Others will have a combination of the above.

Deep Sense of Knowing

Empaths are highly sensitive. This is the term commonly used in describing one’s abilities (sensitivity) to another’s emotions and feelings. Empaths have a deep sense of knowing that accompanies empathy and are often compassionate, considerate, and understanding of others.

There are also varying levels of strength in empaths which may be related to the individualís awareness of self, understanding of the powers of empathy, and/or the acceptance or non-acceptance of empathy by those associated with them, including family and peers. Generally, those who are empathic grow up with these tendencies and do not learn about them until later in life.

Inherited Trait?

Empathy is genetic, inherent in our DNA, and passed from generation to generation. It is studied both by traditional science and alternative healing practitioners.

Empathy has both biological/genetic and spiritual aspects.

Empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels. From their position in observing what another is saying, feeling and thinking, they come to understand another. They can become very proficient at reading another person’s body language and/or study intently the eye movements. While this in itself is not empathy, it is a side-shoot that comes from being observant of others. In a sense, empaths have a complete communication package.

How Empathy Works

While there is much we don’t yet understand about how empathy works, we do have some information. Everything has an energetic vibration or frequency and an empath is able to sense these vibrations and recognize even the subtlest changes undetectable to the naked eye or the five senses.

Words of expression hold an energetic pattern that originates from the speaker. They have a specific meaning particular to the speaker. Behind that expression is a power or force-field, better known as energy. For example, hate often brings about an intense feeling that immediately accompanies the word. The word hate becomes strengthened with the speaker’s feeling. It is that person’s feelings (energy) that are picked up by empaths, whether the words are spoken, thought or just felt without verbal or bodily expression.

Empaths are often poets in motion. They are the born writers, singers, and artists with a high degree of creativity and imagination. They are known for many talents as their interests are varied, broad and continual, loving, loyal and humorous. They often have interests in many cultures and view them with a broad-minded perspective. They are mother, father, child, friend, nurse, caregiver, teacher, doctor, sales people… to psychic, clairvoyant, healer, etc. (That is not to say that any of these categories are all empaths.) The list is extensive and really unimportant. It is more important to notice that empaths are everywhere–in every culture and throughout the world.

 

Empaths Are Good Listeners

Empaths are often very affectionate in personality and expression, great listeners and counselors (and not just in the professional area). They will find themselves helping others and often putting their own needs aside to do so. In the same breath, they can be much the opposite. They may be quiet, withdrawn from the outside world, loners, depressed, neurotic, life’s daydreamers, or even narcissistic.

They are most often passionate towards nature and respect its bountiful beauty. One will often find empaths enjoying the outdoors, beaches, walking, etc. Empaths may find themselves continually drawn to nature as a form of release. It is the opportune place to recapture their senses and gain a sense of peace in the hectic lives they may live. The time to get away from it all and unwind with nature becomes essential to the empath. Animals are often dear to the heart of empaths, not as a power object, but as a natural love. It is not uncommon for empaths to have more than one pet in their homes.

Traits of an Empath

Empaths are often quiet and can take a while to handle a compliment for they’re more inclined to point out another’s positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly in respect to themselves. They may have few problems talking about their feelings.

However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at blocking out others and that’s not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and will have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another’s ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet! They are like beacons of light.

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding.

Here are the listeners of life. Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one–if only for peace of mind.

Written by Christel Broederlow Copyright (c) 2002 Christel Broederlow Shortened Version from The Empath Report 101

About this contributor: Christel Broederlow is a natural born empath and author of numerous articles about empathy through personal experience and continual research. Her Web site, The Empath Report, previously hosted at Geocities is no longer active.

The Ethics Of Empathy

The Ethics Of Empathy

Author:   Cael SpiritHawk 

Some months ago, a few of the members of my Grove expressed concerns over the ethics of using empathy, in various circumstances, to “read” other people’s emotional state. We ended up holding a discussion night about it, and several of our members shared their thoughts on the matter. I wrote down my opinion and posted it in the “Philosophy” section on the forums at my Grove website at http://www.shadowgrove.com/, and recently I found it again and thought I would share it here. I’ve edited it slightly, but what follows is essentially the same post I made at the time.

People have different levels of perception in all of their senses; one person may hear poorly and see very well, another may do both poorly, and another may hear with extreme acuity and be completely unable to see. No one can make any assumptions about the sensory perceptiveness of any other random person on the street. If you’re sitting in a Starbuck’s, having a quiet conversation with your friend, you can guess that the people at the table on the other side of the shop cannot hear you, but you have no way to actually know. You might think that the barrista cannot see the sketches you’re drawing to explain something to your friend, but you don’t know for sure; she might.

Walk through a busy place some time: an airport, a mall, a supermarket. Pay attention to what you see and hear. You can hear people talking, you can see people gesturing to one another, and you can see the expressions on their faces.

The sounds of words are carried to you by the energy of compression waves in the atmosphere. The image of a person’s hands and face are carried by electromagnetic energy (light) .

Back to the coffee shop. Pretend you are sitting across the room from the pair of friends who are talking and sketching. You’re reading a book, so you’re not looking at them. But one of them raises her voice, and it sounds to you as if she’s frustrated. You can’t hear the words yet, but her tone is clear; she’s upset. Then her friend stands up, and he begins shouting, and this time you can hear the words. He tells her that it’s not that he doesn’t understand her, it’s that he does, but he thinks she’s wrong. He holds up the paper they’ve been sketching on, and you glance at it and see what they’ve been drawing.

Now, arguably none of this is your business, because you have not been invited to participate. But the energy (sound and light) that they have been putting out has come to you, and it is in every creature’s nature to accept and act upon received information. So you have perceived (because of her tone) a general state of frustration from the girl. You have perceived more precisely (because of his tone and actual words) that her friend believes she is wrong in her position. And you have perceived (by seeing it directly) that what they are talking about seems to be the layout of an advertising flyer that perhaps they’re working on.

Three levels of perception: General, specific, and precise; gained from three types of passive observation – tonal, verbal, and visual.

Now you know something about those two people that you did not know before. Have you been unethical? Not yet. Because you have received only that which they have given freely in your presence. If you took that knowledge and decided to use it in an unethical way, then you have crossed a line. If you moved to a different seat to be able to listen better, would that be unethical? Probably.

But suppose you reached the conclusion that the man is so agitated that he might become violent. Would it be unethical for you to gather your things and leave, based solely on what you’ve seen? Not at all – it would be prudent.

So it is with empathy. Just as words are carried outward through sound energy, and facial expressions are carried outward through electromagnetic energy, emotions are carried outward by the energy of Spirit. Just as there are people who see well and people who see poorly, there are people who are very perceptive of emotional energy and there are people who perceive it poorly, if at all.

When a person is feeling a strong emotion, their spiritual energy is broadcasting that emotion to everyone in their proximity, just as the look on their face is broadcasting that emotion. If they’re laughing or crying or shouting, the emotion is carried by sound as well.

People can learn to hide their facial expressions and contain their verbal expressions. Likewise, they can learn to control the emotional energy they are sending out on the spiritual plane. But most people do none of these.

So where are the ethics lines drawn with perceiving this spiritual energy of emotion (a perceptiveness we call empathy)? They’re more obvious than many people would believe: they’re drawn in the same places that they’re drawn for any other sense.

If a person is shouting, you cannot help but hear. If a person is smiling, you cannot help but see. If a person is broadcasting emotion, and you feel it, you have not violated their privacy, because as an empathic-perceptive, you cannot help but feel what they feel.

The boundaries come in two places: When you try to pry, and when you try to use the information you receive in a harmful way.

Just as it’s wrong to eavesdrop on someone’s phone conversations (because you’re listening to something that has not been freely offered in your presence), and just as it’s wrong to peer between someone’s bedroom blinds at night (because they’ve put the blinds down for a reason), it is wrong to use empathy to try to ferret out information that a person is not offering up freely.

It’s wrong to pretend to know someone, in order to get them to trust you, because you’ve overheard their name in a conversation. It’s wrong to take down a stranger’s phone number that you’ve seen as they write it down for a friend. Likewise it’s wrong to use the knowledge that you’ve obtained through empathy to give yourself an advantage over the person you got it from.

If a person has given you permission to use your empathy, of course, the rules all change. Empathy can be a powerful therapeutic tool, because the emotions that a person is putting out empathically may be different from the emotions he or she thinks are there. A trauma from the past, a phobia, a deep-rooted anxiety, all of these can come out on the empathic plane, while a person feels uncontrollably giddy but can’t explain why.

Empathy is a tool, just like hearing, sight, and even our hands are a tool. It’s not the possession of a tool that is ethical or unethical; it’s the way we use it. It can be used in helpful or harmful ways, just as any tool can.

If we remember that we are given gifts to allow us to better take care of each other, it’s much less likely that we will violate ethical boundaries. If you are a person who is gifted with strong empathy, use it. You were given it for a reason. But use it in the way you would use any other tool; with care, and with forethought, and with a respect for the people that you are affecting. Listen with it for things that are a danger, so that you may avoid them, and listen with it for people who are in need, so that you may be available to help them when they are ready for it and open to it.

It’s very difficult to violate ethical boundaries when your guidelines are respect for others and respect for yourself.

You would not gouge out an eye for fear of seeing someone’s tears; why would you reject the empathy that might help you understand the reason for those tears, so that you might help to solve it?