Tag: Coffee table

A Little Humor for Your Day – You Might Be Addicted to Coffee If………..

You Might Be Addicted to Coffee If………..

 

You answer the door before people knock.

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

You ski uphill.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You chew on other people’s fingernails.

Your T-shirt says, “Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.”

You can type sixty words per minute… with your feet.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

No-Doze is a downer.

You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.

Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”

You don’t sweat, you percolate.

You buy half-and-half by the barrel.

You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite mug.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.

You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching you.

You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table.

The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.

Instant coffee takes too long.

When someone says “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”

You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

You’re offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.

You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

You can thread a sewing machine, while it’s running.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You short out motion detectors.

You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.

You don’t tan, you roast. You can’t even remember your second cup.

You help your dog chase its tail.

 

Source:

Turok’s Cabana

Lighten Up With A Little Humor – “But First” Syndrome

“BUT FIRST” Syndrome

“I call it “But First” Syndrome. You know. It’s when you decide to do the laundry. So you start down the stairs with the laundry, but then see the newspapers on the table. OK, you’ll do the laundry.

BUT FIRST you decide to put the newspapers away. So on your way in to put the newspapers away, you notice the mail on the table. OK, you’ll put the newspapers away.

BUT FIRST you’ll pay that bill that needs to be paid. So you look for the checkbook. Oops…there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. OK, you’ll pay the bill.

BUT FIRST you need to put the glass in the sink. You head for the kitchen. Darn it, there’s the remote for the TV. What’s it doing here? Okay, you’ll put the glass in the sink.

BUT FIRST you need to put the remote away. Head for the TV room. Aaagh! Stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, you’ll put the remote away.

BUT FIRST you need to feed the cat… So, here’s what happens at the end of the day: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is on the table, bills are unpaid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control …

And, when you try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, you are baffled because …..you KNOW you were BUSY ALL DAY!!

That’s the “BUT FIRST” Syndrome.”