Category: A Laugh for Today

A Little Humor for Your Day c.2016

I occasionally have to repeat this funny, it is one of my favorites, Enjoy!

Why keeping summoned beings as pets is a bad idea…

 

They may be cute and cuddly when they’re little, but they tend to grow. Fast. To something large.

You can’t flush your overgrown summoned pet down the toilet and no pound will take one. (Trust me on this one. )

Unless you spay or neuter them, they will breed, quickly.

Good luck trying to find a vet that will spay or neuter one…

The feeding costs are astronomical. New Age shops are very expensive. Oh, sorry, I meant “astrological”.

An exotic summoned pet is very difficult to feed. Museums start suspecting your interests in ancient cultures rather quickly.

Getting them used to gourmet food is a bad idea: there aren’t that many virgins around, you see!

Cats sitting on the chest of a sleeping child sucking their life-force out may be a myth. With summoned pets, it isn’t.

No insurance will cover it if your summoned pet bites your guests.

They may even eat your guests while you pop into the kitchen for tea.

When they nibble your toes on Sunday morning, it does NOT feel nice. Besides, you need those toes for proper balance.

Clipping their toenails to save your sofa from being torn into shreds is pretty damn hard.

You think a pet stealing your stuff is bad? Summoned pets steal your stuff and hide it to the astral plane!

Summoned pet dung is difficult to get rid of. They won’t accept it at the toxic waste plant anymore …

Cat’s hairballs are easy to clean away. Try dealing with astral slime puke.

They don’t stay in their cage unless you remember to seal it magickally properly. Every single time.

It also gets a bit tedious to keep that triangle of salt intact in the corner of the living room.

A summoned pet possessing your grandmother is NO fun, I can tell you!

A summoned pet possessing your stereo system may be painful.

Having them play with your altar tools is not cute.

Having them play with your Book of Shadows is even less cute.

Smell of sulfur wafting in the apartment tends to deter Jehovah’s Witnesses and other pests, though… But it does make breathing labored in the long run.

Landlords tend to dislike the “things that go bump in the night” routine you have going on in your flat.

Landlords will detest finding out that paying residents in your block are disappearing as if by magick.

On the other hand, the police may become a tad too interested in the very same phenomena.

It’s not fun to have your pet deciding to “hump” your neighbor’s dog in the middle of your daily walk.

It’s practically impossible to find new, caring homes for the resulting Cerberoses, too.

While it may be cute to have a pet that actually does talk back to you, it’s not nice when they start throwing curses.

It may be nice to have a pet that can retrieve your e-mail along with regular post, but it’s NOT fun having them actually posting replies…

Advanced summoned pets may summon pets of their own. That means BIG trouble.

Last but not least: If you’re not quite careful, you may one day wake up realizing that it is in fact YOU who are the pet in this deal.

 

Source: Author: Faerie K. Article Published On Ecauldron

A Little Humor for Your Day

Hilarious Monday Jokes to Get You Through the Week

Monday is the second day of the week. It’s also the first of the school and work week.

Instead of thinking of Monday as a dreadful day, beat the Monday blues with humor.

It can also help you be more productive by putting you in the right mindset.

1. What’s the bright side of Mondays?

It only happens once a week.

2. Who wins in a fight, Sunday or Monday?

Sunday because Monday is a weekday.

3. What do you call a person who’s happy on Monday?

Unemployed.

4. What kind of movie would Monday be?

A long and boring one.

5. Which day of the week is more depressing than Monday?

Sadder-day.

6. What does the calendar say after Monday and Tuesday?

WTF.

7. How is Monday like a math problem?

Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness.

8. Why was the broom late for work on Monday morning?

It over-swept.

9. What’s the worst Monday you can have?

The next one.

10. What day of the week gets the most groans?

I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought for Today and A Little Humor for Your Day

I got the birthday horoscope traits caught up and part of the regular daily posts done. The doctor put me in a knee brace and took x-rays. If they do not show anything I will be going for an MRI. Sitting at my desk is somewhat less painful but still hurts too. Tomorrow I am hoping to be able to do all the regular daily posts. Thanking you for sticking by me and supporting me while I heal from this injury!

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and all things positive!

Blessed be.

If you want to see some information on any tradition of witchcraft or herbs or flowers or a Goddess or a God or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

Some Humor for Your Day

Even on my darker days of pain or feeling depressed I try to find one thing to make me laugh. I also smile at strangers I may pass on the street or in a store or any place else I might encounter someone figuring a smile may brighten and otherwise yucky day. 8 out of 10 times the person smiles back at me. Try it you may find it brightens your day also!

I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!