- You are out in the woods and the Horned God appears to you and it takes you more than 30 seconds to put down your deer rifle.
- You’ve ever duct-taped an outhouse and called it a sweat lodge.
- You run out of candles and then get the emergency flares out of your trunk.
- Your altar is made from the hood of an old Chevy pick-up.
- You begin your Circle by calling for quarters to be placed in the beer fund jar.
- You enter a skyclad circle with the words, In Perfect Love and Perfect Lust.
- You close a circle with the words “Hot damn, let’s party!”
- You get most of your spiritual wisdom about the cycles of nature from Bill Dance bass fishing shows.
- You watch NASCAR for its karmic revelation.
- Your ritual robes are made of weatherproof camouflage.
- Your revel fire causes the smokejumpers to fly in.
- The only herb you use has to be planted in the middle of nowhere.
- You think “The Reclaiming Collective” is a great name for a used automobile parts business.
- Before you can use your ritual cauldron, you have to wash out the bones from your fish stew.