the daily humorscope
Friday, April 22, 2011
Today someone sitting near you will make repeated nasal sounds that will eventually drive you screaming from the room. Try to avoid attacking them with a box of kleenex upon re-entering the room.
Oddly, despite the impression you gained from a television commercial, your new soap will not inspire unusual levels of grinning in the shower.
Bad day to feed the Bengal tiger. Let someone else do it, today. Probably just an “off” batch of the Purina Tiger Chow, but why risk it?
What goes around will come around, today. Metaphorically speaking, that is.
People will stare at you today. Unknown to you, you are starting to look more and more like a large frog. A career in basketball may be in your future.
This will be a very happy week for you. And you know what they’ve been saying about that for thousands of years, don’t you? “Happy Good! Me Like Happy!”
Today you will suddenly realize how sensuous pudding can be. This will mark a turning point in your life.
Today you’ll become incensed at the thought that you missed out on all the fun during the 60’s and 70’s, and will change your name to “Sunflower” in protest.
Good day to go around “nudging” people.
Fortune will smile upon you today. Actually, it’s more of a smirk.
It’s ok to spill the wine today, if you feel you really have to. Under no circumstance should you dig that girl, however.
You will be pestered by a small fluffy animal today. Don’t be taken in by appearances — it’s actually a mutant from outer space.
Witches Of The Craft® 