the daily humorscope
Thursday, April 21, 2011
You will need two torches, a sword, leather armor, and a significant amount of courage today. And for heaven’s sake, don’t forget the twine.
Resist temptation, today. You might have to get rough with it, or even wrestle it to the ground.
Today you will uncover a conspiracy, involving leaf-blowers and other noisy and completely pointless garden equipment.
You will make people squirm, today. Surprisingly, some of them will show remarkable talent at squirming.
Something will start to bother you, and you will eventually have to ask someone to explain it. The thing is, some birds have very acute hearing – so WHERE ARE THEIR EARS??
Your plans for a do-it-yourself replica medieval catapult will arrive today! Soon, your neighbours will become nervous (but you can explain that their fears are groundless — you couldn’t possibly hit anything that close with it).
In one of those amusing mix-ups that happen so frequently in modern life, a friend of yours will have mistaken your reference to “her suit” and thought you said “hirsute”. Still, this may prove a little awkward.
You are about to scare several people out of their socks! It will turn out that they have very ugly feet.
Today you will flip a coin 4 times, and it will come up “heads”, “tails”, “heads”, “heads”. Then someone will come up and say “hey, whatcha doing?” Then the phone will ring. Just a coincidence, though, in this case.
Everyone will stare at you like deer in headlights this week at the office. Actually, you will later decide that driving your car around inside the office may not be your best-ever idea.
Not a good time to discuss sauerkraut. At least not if you value your friendships, and your sanity.
Everyone’s talking about Nostradamus these days, but nobody ever remembers his first name. Except you. People may think it’s pretentious of you to talk about “Bob Nostradamus”, but who cares? They’ll all die when the comet hits, anyway.
Witches Of The Craft® 