Houses To Avoid While Trick-Or-Treating

• Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole.
• Any house made of food.
• Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement.
• Any house where the high tension wires suddenly stop right above it.
• Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas.
• Any house that growls “get out.”
• Any house where the furniture seems to be walking across the living room floor.
• Any house that looks like a giant pulsating orb floating 3 feet off the ground.
• Any house with various and extremely realistic statues in the front yard of people in odd “running away” poses.
• Any house that wasn’t there only a minute ago…