Tag: Bacchus

A Little Humor – What Would Your Diety Do?

What Would Your Diety Do?

Many folks, when faced with a difficult choice, say that they always            ask themselves, “WWJD?” As we all know, WWJD? is “What Would Jesus Do?” Now,            for those of non-Christian religious persuasions, we have…

WWAD? (A=Anubis) Wrap ’em up!

WWAD? (A=Aphrodite) Don’t you mean who would Aphrodite do?

WWAD? (A=Apollo) Test their musical skills… in a fair contest.

WWAD? (A=Artemis) Turn him into a stag to be torn apart by his barking hounds.

WWAD? (A=Astarte) Make love and war.

WWAD? (A=Athena) Stare him down, then beat the crap out of them… in a logical manner.

WWBD? (B=Bacchus) Get them drunk and turn them into dolphins.

WWBD? (B=Britannia) Rule!

WWBD? (B=Buddha) Does it matter? If you are enlightened it doesn’t. If you are not enlightened it still doesn’t.

WWCD? (C=Ceres) Discuss it calmly while holding a scythe.

WWCD? (C=Ceridwen) Stir it up one more time.

WWCD? (C=Chaos) No one is quite sure… but it will be messy and… interesting.

WWCD? (C=Cthulu) Does it matter? No one will survive anyway.

WWCD? (C=Cuchulain) Chop down an enormous oak tree with one sweep of your sword, carve a riddle writtin in ogham on it, and throw it in the path of the oncoming Connacht hordes and demand that they decipher it before advancing.

WWDD? (D= Demeter) Lay waste to your lands if you don’t have her daughter back by 10pm! [And don’t even THINK of laying a hand on her!]

WWDD? (D=Discordia) Here… have an apple… if you are the fairest!

WWED? (E=Ereshkigal) Strip them and hang them on a hook to rot.

WWFD? (F=Flora) Say it with flowers.

WWFD? (F=Fortuna) Play the lottery.

WWFD? (F=Frigga). Spin, spin, spin.

WWGD? (G=Gaia) Remind them to worship the ground they stand on.

WWGD? (G=Ganesha) Saddle up his rat.

WWGD (G=God) Send everyone to Hell that doesn’t obey his every wish.

WWHD?(H=Hades) Tell them to go to Hell.

WWHD? (H=Hecate) Show them the right path… or is it the left?

WWHD? (H=Hera) She’d get jealous.

WWHD? (H=Hercules) He’d labor to come up with an answer.

WWHD? (H=Herne) Lead them on a Wild Hunt!

WWJD? (J=Janus) Look the other way.

WWJD? (J=Jupiter) Strike them down with a bolt from the blue.

WWKD? (K=Kali) Tear out their beating heart, drink their blood and dance on their trembling corpse. Then wear parts as jewelry.

WWKD? (K=Kwan Yin) Show them some mercy.

WWLD? (L=Loki) Turn left at the next street, buy five chickens, “borrow” some jewelry, change into a seal and steal some apples. For starters.

WWLD? (L=Luna) Moon them!

WWMD? (M=Mithras) Cut the bull!

WWMD? (M=Mars) Suit up for battle.

WWMD? (M=Mercury) Change his mind… again.

WWND? (N=Narcissus) Huh? Is there someone else here?

WWOD? (O=Odin) Take an eye out and leave them in runes.

WWPD? (P=Pan) Tell them to pipe down or fuck off.

WWPD? (P=Pluto) Hump Minnie’s leg.

WWPD? (P=Priapus) Rise to the occasion.

WWSD? (S=Sekhmet) Drown her sorrows in blood.

WWSD? (S=Set) You don’t want to know but it wont be nice.

WWSD? (S=Shiva) Smoke some weed and dance the night away.

WWTD? (T=Thor) Hammer it out.

WWTD? (T=Tyr) Arm himself.

WWTED? (TE=The Eleusinians) It’s a mystery!

WWVD? (V=Vesta) Keep the home fires burning.

WWVD (V=Venus) Stand there and be eye candy.

WWVD? (V=Vulcan) Live long and prosper. [Hey, this took a while! I was just checking to see if you got this far. After all, I suffered for this, now it’s your turn!]

WWWD (W=Wayland) Serve them a feast where their children’s skulls are the finely-fashioned drinking cups.

WWYD? (Y=Yahweh) “I hear you, I hear you. Stop with the burning bush already! OY!”

WWZD? (Z=Zeus) By Jove, he’d flirt with the girls!

 

Turok’s Cabana

Gods of the Vine

Gods of the Vine

By Patti Wigington

Grapes. They’re everywhere in the fall, so it’s no surprise that the Mabon season is a popular time to celebrate winemaking, and deities connected to the growth of the vine. Whether you see him as Bacchus, Dionysus, the Green Man, or some other vegetative god, the god of the vine is a key archetype in harvest celebrations.

The Greek Dionysus was representative of the grapes in the vineyards, and of course the wine that they created. As such, he gained a bit of a reputation as a party-hardy kind of god, and his followers were typically seen as a debauched and drunken lot. However, before he was a party god, Dionysus was originally a god of trees and the forest. He was often portrayed with leaves growing out of his face, similar to later depictions of the Green Man. Farmers offered prayers to Dionysus to make their orchards grow, and he is often credited with the invention of the plow.

In Roman legend, Bacchus stepped in for Dionysus, and earned the title of party god. In fact, a drunken orgy is still called a bacchanalia, and for good reason. Devotees of Bacchus whipped themselves into a frenzy of intoxication, and in the spring Roman women attended secret ceremonies in his name. Bacchus was associated with fertility, wine and grapes, as well as sexual free-for-alls. Although Bacchus is often linked with Beltane and the greening of spring, because of his connection to wine and grapes he is also a deity of the harvest.

In medieval times, the image of the Green Man appeared. He is typically a male face peering out from the leaves, surrounded by ivy or grapes. Tales of the Green Man have overlapped through time, so that in his many aspects he is also Puck of the MidSummer forest, Herne the Hunter, Cernunnos, the Oak King, John Barleycorn, Jack in the Green, and even Robin Hood. The spirit of the Green Man is everywhere in nature at the time of the harvest — as leaves fall down around you outside, imagine the Green Man laughing at you from his hiding place within the woods!