Tag: Aircraft

Lighten Up – “Gripe Sheet”

“Gripe Sheet”

 

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,”
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

 

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by
Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land ! very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar ! with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last.

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Daily Feng Shui Tip for Saturday, December 17th

This day is dedicated to the intrepid Wright Brothers, a pair of courageous inventors who blew the socks off anyone lucky enough to watch them launch their giant glider off Kitty Hawk, North Carolina in 1903. But I often wonder if the brothers Wright ever dreamt of manning those flying machines. Dream interpreters say that dreams of flying are almost as common as those of falling. They also say that dreams of flying indicate that something in your life might feel out of control. Conversely, dreams of piloting a plane suggest that a stimulating new project is heading your way. If in these dreams you’re captaining a fighter plane, then your confidence is getting ready to soar! And dreaming of being near a rocket launch is a serious sign of impending success that also fuels symbolism associated with family fortunes. Why not bring your dreams to life by activating engines with eyes wide open? Place any image, picture or photo of a rocket launching somewhere inside the Fame area of your main floor or office space (this image is a bit too ‘yang’ or aggressive for the bedroom). Not only will this bring a big boost to all career considerations but it will also trigger an elevated sense of confidence and esteem. What’s all the buzz? Maybe it’s about your professional status now heading to infinity and beyond!

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com