the daily humorscope
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Beware of poltergeists, today.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
While idly doodling on a notepad, today, you will accidentally draw a symbol sacred to an ancient voodoo deity, and will open a gap into part of the astral plane that is even less appealing than Akron, Ohio.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Excellent day to blow soap bubbles in unusual places. See if you can get them to drift by people who are thinking too hard.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich today, and a bowl of tomato soup. When nobody is looking you will secretly dunk your sandwich. You never tire of the wild life, do you?
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
In a strange form of protest against the new trends in personal adornment, you will make mooing sounds whenever you see someone with a nose ring. Coincidentally, some of them will say “Hay!”
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Ian McHarg once said, “Man is a blind, witless, anthropocentric clod who inflicts lesions upon the earth.” You will come up with a brilliant rebuttal to this, soon. You will say: “So?”
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
This may be a little late, but heck, late is better than never. You know when they said to shop naked? They meant shopping on-line…
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Don’t worry — that fortune cookie was wrong.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good day to power-walk. It not only looks silly, it is silly.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Good day to call an old friend, and reminisce. (It turns out to be much much harder to reminisce with a new friend.)
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Good day to go around “nudging” people.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You will be forced to re-evaluate your boss’ IQ, when you discover that he is looking forward to the release of “Titanic II”.
Witches Of The Craft® 