You know you’re getting older when
- Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
- The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
- You feel like the night before, and yo9u haven’t been anywhere.
- Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
- You get winded playing chess.
- Your children begin to look middle-aged.
- You finally reach the top of the ladder, and you find it leaning against the wrong wall.
- You join a health club and don’t go.
- You begin to outlive enthusiasm
- You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.
- Your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet.
- A dripping faucet causes uncontrollable bladder urge.
- You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- You walk with your head held high trying to get used to your bifocals.
- Your favorite part of the newspaper is “Twenty-five Years Ago Today.”
- You turn out the light for economic rather than romantic reasons.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
- Your knees buckle but your belt won’t.
- You regret all those temptations you resisted.
- You’re 17 around the neck and 44 around the waist, and 105 around the golf course.
- You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
- After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
- Dialing long distance wears you out.
- You are startled the first time someone’s calls you Old-timer.
- You remember today that yesterday was your wedding anniversary.
- You just can’t stand people who are intolerant.
- The best part of your day is over when the alarm clock goes off.
- You burn the midnight oil after 9:00 p.m.
- Your back goes out more often than you do.
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