A Little Humor for Everybody’s Day: Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion

Top Ten Reasons Why
Beer Is Better Than Religion
  1. If you have a beer, you don’t go around door to door trying to give it to someone else.
  2. You can prove that you have a beer.
  3. It is against the law to offer beer to little children who are not old enough to think for themselves.
  4. Nobody has ever been hanged, tortured, or burned at the stake over his particular brand of beer.
  5. If you have a beer, you don’t have to wait over 2000 years for another one.
  6. There are many federal laws that make them print the truth on beer labels.
  7. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
  8. Beer does not tell you when or how to have sex.
  9. There have been virtually no major wars fought over beer.
  10. If you have devoted your entire life to beer, there are groups you can join to help you stop!

 

–Turok’s Cabana

19 thoughts on “A Little Humor for Everybody’s Day: Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion”

    1. Well, how about we sort of ignore that one and go on to number 3 or 5? The last time I had a drink was a very, very long time ago. Believe it or not, it was a Yule also. My father loved to spike the eggnog. One year, I believe he poured at least two gallons of whiskey in it. Good grief, there wasn’t any nog just whiskey. My mother wanted to break his neck. I remember she asked him, “did you want a little eggnog with your whiskey?” The adults seemed to enjoy it but it burnt me out on eggnog for a very long time. In the last couple of years, I have just got to the point where I could drink eggnog. Come to think of it, number 4 might apply to my father.
      Have a great day, my friend,
      Lady A

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      2. Where I grew up the “nog” was the liquor part. So do you like your eggnog with the “nog” or without the “nog?” I was so darn dumb when I was old enough to go to the grocery and buy groceries, I saw eggnog on the shelves. I thought they were selling liquored up drinks, lol! Now how naive is that? I am a straight eggnog person. Well I was, I got diagnosed with diabetes and now it is too rich for me to drink. Heck I can’t enjoy nothing. That was one of the main things I looked forward to when the holiday season rolled around.

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      4. I can understand completely. Eggnog is a required taste. The first time I tasted it without my father’s doctoring, I thought “YUCK!” But after a while,with a little sip here and a little sip there, I started to thing it was pretty good stuff. I bet you ain’t crazy about the Holiday Fruitcake either, are you? That is one holiday treat I can live without. A quick funny story, my mother hated getting those cakes for the holidays. She got angry once and I was watching her. I asked her why she hated them, she showed me. Believe it or not, she took it and threw it on the floor and the darn thing bounced, I kid you know. Who knows what they put in a fruitcake to make one bounce. They just look nasty, never tried one and don’t want to either.

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      6. And they can be re-gifted over and over. No telling how old that fruitcake I have sitting in the cabinet is. Gee, I wonder what they put in those things to make them last forever. I would love to know who thought of the fruitcake for gifts anyway. They must have threw everything they had in the kitchen to make one. This gives me an idea, I think it is time to get rid of, I mean re-gift, the one I have. Would you like it, lol?

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      8. Living there,lol! You ain’t having to feed and water them are you? Re-gift them. Gee, why keep all those “good” eats to yourself. Since we already know they bounce, you could cut them up and make bouncy toys for your dog, if you have a dog. Or they would be great for the cats to run around the floor after. See there is tons of ways you would use all those fruitcakes. Personally, I think a person has to be a fruitcake to give one as a gift!

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      10. No Thanks, you can keep those fruitcakes. I think I am going to have to find a new joke we can crack on. Think so? We have went from liquor, eggnog, now fruitcakes. All are these are generally holiday favorites, we keep this up, they will be thinking we are Scrooges, lol!

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      16. I post here and over at the Commentary Gazette to help get that one going. It made me wonder when you said something about Oscar Wilde, I do a quote of the day over there. Hey, I just put up a new joke. We should have a lot to discuss on this one. The difference between women and men, I thought you could probably find a few in there you want to comment about. I can’t wait to hear them.

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