The last couple of days, I have been hurt, angry and basically acting like a spoiled little child. I admit it. During that time, I have also been talking to the Goddess. Whether you believe in the Goddess or not, that is up to you. Our nice little talk when something like this…..
“I am sorry Goddess, I have let you down. I have been put through hell for the last two years and each time, I have managed to bounce back. First, there was the horrible truck accident that took one of my familiars and almost killed me. Next, there was a man who tried to burn me alive, I was in the hospital for several weeks and I bounced back. Then some where in the midst of all of that, my best friend was killed in an automobile wreck. I bounced back from that. No, I didn’t, I still cry when I think about losing Mystie. One of her boys remind me so much of her and I thank you for bringing them in my life. The point of this whole conversation, Goddess, is to tell you I am sorry. I have let you down. I have no more bounce left in me. I have done everything in the book I can think of to keep my promise to you and I have let you down. I have failed in my promise to you that I made so many years ago. The promise that I would spread your word and tell the truth about your religion. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t have the means and it really seems like I am the only one trying. I know others say they want the same thing I do but I don’t see it. It seems like I am the only one fighting an up hill battle to get your word out. I am embarrassed. I feel humiliated and I sincerely apologize for letting you down. Whatever you have in store for me for breaking my word to you, I am ready because I deserve it. I can’t do it by myself anymore, I can’t and Almighty Mother I hope you understand.”
Well I got a reply back, whether you want to believe me or not, that is up to you again. The reply when something like this…..
“You are not finished doing my work. You have accomplished so very much and you have so much more to do before your time is up. Swallow your pride. What has happened to the fighter that I know. You use to never give up so easily. Now you are going to let it all go without even a fight. What is wrong with you? Your work is over when I say it is over. Get yourself together and get back out there and fight. You have always fought for what you truly believed in and you are going to stop now. Whether you think so or not, there are others out there that depend on you every day. You give them strength, you give them comfort and you give them hope for a better world. This is not all about you, Kit. It never has been. It is about you being my servant and spreading my word and doing my work. You have a tendency to forget that. Now swallow your pride and your humility and get up off your butt and get back out there and fight. Fight for what you believe in.”
The conversation when on and basically the Goddess told me I was on a pity trip. Maybe it is a pity trip but after fighting for so many years, you get tired. I told her I needed the energy and the hope to continue. I believe she granted that request. I am not going to give up that easily anymore. I am going to learn to swallow my pride and when I need help ask for it. One person cannot accomplish what the WOTC was meant to accomplish. The Goddess told me there are other out there that believed the way I do, if there are, we need your help. She told me to spell it out to you and I am going too…..we need monthly donors to keep the WOTC afloat. It doesn’t have to be a huge sum, just $5.00 a month would help out greatly. You know my circumstances and I hope you understand I have carried the WOTC and the weight of the world on my back for several years now. With the Goddess’ help I have always found a way to keep the WOTC going. Now the WOTC needs your help. I need your help to take some of the burden off of me. All I am asking is for a few of you to become monthly donors to the WOTC. Winter is coming on and it is one of the roughest times of the year, not only for us but for you as well. I know that. If you want the WOTC to continue, then we need your help. The donor wall is going back up. Become a monthly donor and we will put your name on it. Do a one time donation and we will put your name on it.
The Goddess did make me realize that this isn’t about me anymore. It is about Her and continuing to spread her word. To reach out to the world and let the world hear Her truth. I guess humility comes right along with that or so She told me. Don’t be afraid to ask when you need help. The WOTC reaches around the world. We are the only organization that can do that. Do you realize how many people hear what we have to say every day? How what we have to say affects their lives and their way of thinking. The world needs hope now more than ever, the Goddess is the hope. We have to continue her message, no matter what and no matter what the cost to me might be. I made a vow to Her and I intent to keep it one way or the other. If you believe as I do and you want Her work to continue and for us to continue to spread her word across the planet, then help us. I don’t give a damn if I have to eat a bologna sandwich for Thanksgiving. She made me realize that in this fight, we all have to make personal sacrifices. I have accepted that. But I will not accept the WOTC going down without a fight. She has given me renewed hope and strength and I will fight to keep it going as long as possible. I finally realized I am not what’s important, the Goddess is. She is worth fighting for and I intent to fight to my dying day.
After I talked to the Goddess and got my head on straight, I got a phone call from Lady Beltane yesterday. As you know Lady Beltane is the leader of Coven Life. After listening to her message, I realized there is a lot more at stake than just losing the WOTC. She told me if I put our domain up for sale to put Coven Life’s domain up for sale as well. She said she didn’t know who or what would purchase our domain and she didn’t want anything to do with it unless I was over the WOTC. Lady Beltane is a good friend, she is more than a friend, she is my sister. Then I believe after listening to her message is when I got Goddess smacked again. I tell you one thing getting Goddess smacked isn’t any fun. I was told, “You never stopped to think how much there is to lose if the WOTC goes, have you?” “Stop and think for once in your life, stop and think about what all will be lost if you give up.” By that time I had already made my mind up that I wasn’t going to give up. I can’t there is way too much to lose if I do.
Lady B left me a comment in the back, I want you to read it……
No words can describe how bad I feel for you. I wish I could do more to help you keep WOTC but you know I won’t have a job once mt know heals. I do not mind at all you posting about why I started charging for the novice and adept courses. Hopefully, it will be enough when all the personal income I have is my small disability check to keep Coven Life going. I ask the Lord and Lady for a miracle for you to be able to keep WOTC going.
The reason I wanted you to read it is to prove my point. These site are expensive to run. We can’t do it by ourselves, we need your help. We need for some of you to become monthly donors or at least make a one time donation. We need enough to get us through the Winter. Whether you make that donation to the WOTC or Coven Life, I don’t care. Both sites are doing the Goddess’ work. Lady B is training future witches. Without her, where do you think those individuals would be? The Dark side of the Craft is always waiting for the new comers to come to the Craft. Why? To lure them down that Path. No telling how many individuals Lady B has stopped that from happening too. Her work is important and so is ours.
If you want both our work to continue then I humbly ask that you make a donation so we can cover our operating expenses. Don’t depend on just one person doing it, help us out. We don’t like asking for money but I don’t like losing everything we have accomplished so far either. We are one of the oldest and well established sites on the internet. We wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t meant to be. We need your help. We want to continue our work because we enjoy doing what we do. We love the Goddess and we want to continue Her work. If we didn’t love what we do and our Goddess why would we get up every day and do what we do.
I am doing as suggested, swallowing my pride and asking for your donations to keep us afloat and help us make it through the Winter. We can’t do it by ourselves. It will take all of us to accomplish what we want to accomplish. Won’t you come and stand with us as we try with all our might to carry on our work. Stand with us, side by side, shoulder to shoulder and we can accomplish great things to come.
Lady of the Abyss
I did hear that some of you went looking for the old witch yesterday. The Commentary Gazette told me they had the highest rate of visitors ever. Those visitors were coming directly from the WOTC. So you do miss me after all, lol!