Posts Tagged With: Vacuum cleaner

A Little Humor for Your Day – Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.

“Go away!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door..

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. “If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning..”

Source:
JokesWarehouse.com

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Lighten Up – Thoughts to Ponder

Points to ponder

 

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why doesn’t toothpaste ever go rotten?

On electric toasters why do they engrave the message ‘one slice’?
How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner reach down pick it up examine it then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? “true”

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
If not then what was the purpose of the bath?

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

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Putting The Dirt To Work

Putting The Dirt To Work

When working with dirt, there is no need to cleanse it, charge it or do anything else you might do when using another ingredient in your spells or rituals. Why? Because the Earth is very old, ancient in fact, making it very stable. The Earth has collected all the consciousness of those who have walked here before us. The Earth has collected their knowledge and their power. If you had collected the dirt from a cemetery, it would contain all the energies and qualities of the person whose final resting place you got the dirt from. Altogether, you have already made a magickal operation. Now to apply it.

There are several ways you can do this, but they all start out the same. You just need to decide which dirt samples to combine. You can mix as many or as few as you like, the only rule being that the combination must be to your benefit and not harm you in any way at all.

Once you’ve decided this, the only left is to figure out exactly how you intend to apply the dirt. There is no right or wrong way and that you can’t mess it up.  Just be comfortable with the method you choose and let the dirt go to work.

Here are a few ideas on applying your dirt:

Sprinkling:  The easiest and quicest way to incorporate the dirt’s energies into your life is to sprinkle it along the bottom of your walls, under your throw rugs, along the outside of your house and then at the end of your property. Be sure to include all door mats and around the front porch. The only problem with its presence inside the house is the vacuum cleaner. Just be aware that you’ll have to replace the dirt every time you clean.

Charm Bags:  The bag can be made out of the traditional red flannel, leather, beadwork or any material that you prefer. The dirt is combined with snippets of your hair and fingernail clippings. By doing this, it indicates that you are the person to benefit from the spell. You can also include any other items that you might consider important to your spell working. The mixture is then placed in the bag, which is then worn around the neck or placed some where on the body. The bags can contain nail and hair clippings from other family members also. If you decide to do this, the bag should be buried rather than worn and rest close to the front step of the home as possible.

Good Luck Bottles:  Some knows these as Witches’ Bottles, which means you will have to have a jar with a tightly, secured lid.  The dirt mixture is placed in the bottom of the container and sprinkled with herbs that vibrate to good fortune (cinnamon, basil, lavender, as excellent herbs to use, the combination brings love, money and spiritual protection.)  Fish hooks are also added to hook good luck for you, as are nine dimes in payment to the spirit world for its protection and rewards.  Once the jar is at least half full, it should be filled to the top with your urine, capped tightly, and buried on your property.  Again bury this close to the front door as possible.

Categories: Charms/Talismans, Curses/Hexes, Dark Arts Potions/Powders, Magickal Sachets, Natural Magick, Potions/Powders, Ritual Working, Spellcrafting, The Witch's Tools, Working With Nature's Gifts | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dog-gone Doggie Of The Day for April 5

Lissy, the Dog of the Day
Name: Lissy
Age: Four years old
Gender: Female Breed: Dalmatian
Home: Germany
My dog Lissy is a Dalmatian. She is sweet, funny, smart, pretty and cool. She love delis, dog food and dog bones to eat, and she loves to play, and to run. She can run very fast in the fields when we take her there. Lissy is four years old, and she is white and black, as you can see. She does have things she dislikes, though. She dislikes cats a lot, and does not like getting sprayed with water. Most of all she dislikes the Hoover (vacuum cleaner) most of all, and will leave the room when one is brought into it. She is pretty, I think, and she is my friend.
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Green Tip – 11 Tools to Detox Your Home

11 Tools to Detox Your Home

  • Annie B. Bond

Being a longtime chemically sensitive person means that I have a lot of tools up my sleeve for detoxing environmental problems. This list doesn’t include DIY fixes, such as using washing soda to peel petroleum-based wax off a floor, but it focuses mostly on products that you can buy that help reduce your exposure, day-to-day. Most of all, I recommend you use your head. Remember your common sense, pay attention to where chemicals are in your home, and think through some solutions.

Cotton Barrier Cloths–440 Thread Count
Make jackets to block chemicals from car seats, crib and other mattresses, and anything coverable that is offgassing fumes. Although hard it would be ideal to cover couches and stuffed chairs made before 2005, with barrier cloth, or anything else that could be impregnated with fire retardants and stain repellents. The chemicals, polybrominated diphenyl ethers, called PBDEs, are endocrine disrupters, neurotoxins, and more, and are found most frequently in polyurethane foam cushions and electronics.

HEPA Vacuums and Microfiber Cloths
A study of house dust in regular homes across the U.S. found that all was contaminated with these six chemical classes: phthalates (plasticizer), pesticides, alkylphenols (hormone disrupting surfactants), brominated flame retardants, organotins (powerful fungicides, pesticides and bacteriacides, rigid-food packaging PVC, silicon curing), and perfluorinated compounds (Teflon and stain-resistant chemicals). One of your very best ways of detoxing your house is by using the best filtering vacuum cleaner available, the HEPA vacuum. In the 1940s, HEPA (High Efficiency Particulate Air) filters were invented to filter out radioactive dust particulate contaminants in bomb shelters during the atomic bomb tests. These filters were designed to capture particles down to 0.3 microns in size at efficiency ratings of 99.97 percent.

Microfiber Cloths
The fibers in these cleaning cloths are densely packed and designed with “hooks” to pull up dirt. They will help remove a significant amount of dust and without the additional use of a cleaning agent.

Seal Out Toxics
If you have cabinets, subflooring, or general furniture made of particle board, seal in the formaldehyde with SafeCoat Safety Seal.

Door Mat
Leave your shoes at the door? This subject seems to inspire very strong feelings in people, both pro and con. No matter what your opinion about it is, at least go with a door mat. Studies prove that we track lead, pesticides, and a whole lot more, into our homes on our shoes. An effective door mat, if people scrape the bottom of their shoes well before entering, will help reduce the amount of chemicals being tracked inside.

Your Nose
How does something smell? Like chemicals? Like an unhealthy natural material? Allow your nose to teach you about your surroundings. One good test is to pay attention to the first thing you smell on your re-entry into your home. When you have entered and been there for a few hours it is likely you won’t be aware of the smell any longer. Often the first thing you smell will alert you to an allergen or unhealthy chemical.

Tests
Especially when buying a house, it is important to have a series of tests done, including for radon, your water, pesticides (long-lasting pesticides such as chlordane), arsenic, and lead. There is some controversy about the effectiveness of lead swab tests, so heads up to have professional assessment of the lead in your home, and educate yourself about sources of lead in the home.

Gauss meter
I suggest people join up with some friends and buy a communal gauss meter, a gadget that costs about $170 and reads electromagnetic fields (EMFs). I used a gauss meter for my house and learned some very reassuring things about where the high levels of EMFs were found in my home (and that they fall off very quickly, within three to six feet from the appliance).

Aluminum Foil
I can’t tell you how many times I have used aluminum foil to seal in something that was outgassing toxic fumes. It is particularly handy if you are just moving into a home and a wall smells of spackle, or there is a lot of formaldehyde-based materials in the kitchen. Taping aluminum foil securely to cover the areas is a great temporary solution.

Acid and Base Awareness
I have found that the majority of odors are either alkaline or acidic. For example, if you are sensitive to perfume and someone spilled some in a guestroom of your house, what to do? I’ve found that much perfume is alkaline, so I suggest neutralizing it by spraying the area with white distilled vinegar, let it set for a few hours, and in my experience, the smell goes away. Acidic odors, meanwhile, can be neutralized by using baking soda. For example, soak clothes in 1 cup of baking soda to a load of laundry water, agitate every few hours, and then wash after a day’s soak. Or, famously, put an open box of baking soda in the refrigerator.

Water Filters
Buy water filters suited to your water situation, but filter your water. If you are on municipal water make sure you find a filter that remove chlorine, if you have well water, make sure you find a filter that removes bacteria.

Air Filters
Stay away from ozone filters (the EPA doesn’t recommend them) but consider an air filter, especially if a family member has allergies. Also make certain that you have a good air exchange in your home; consult with an expert about this issue if you are unsure.

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Daily OM for Jan. 20 – Releasing and Welcoming

Releasing and Welcoming
Energetic Sweeping

Sweeping the front porch every morning is an important cleansing ritual that prepares the ground for new energy.

In some of our lives, sweeping has become an activity performed without much thought. In many cases, sweeping is a lost art, replaced by the noisy, efficient vacuum cleaner. But in several cultures and religions, sweeping the front and back porch every morning is regarded as an important cleansing ritual that prepares the ground for new energy on every level—physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. It is often employed to sanctify a space and prepare it for a ceremony. This seemingly simple action has the power to clear away the old and make space for the new. It stirs up the energy in a place, clearing out the astral buildup that is the natural by-product of the presence of humans.

This kind of sweeping is not about cleaning the area of dust. In fact, the broom doesn’t have to actually touch the ground to be effective. You might want to consider having two different brooms, one you use for cleaning dust and dirt, and one you use for energy clearing. If you are so inspired, you could decorate your broom by carving its handle, painting it, decorating it with gemstones and ribbons, or any other creative adornment that appeals to you. You can also make your own broom out of tree branches and twigs, or choose a naturally appearing broom from nature, such as a pine bough.

Sweeping each morning prepares the ground for the new day at the same time as it deepens our awareness of the importance of letting go of the past to welcome the present. As we clear the energy of our space, we clear our own energy systems. In addition, we create a space that feels clean, clear, and open to all who enter. Be sure to think welcoming thoughts as you sweep, manifesting what you need for the day. Making sweeping part of our daily ritual tunes us into the continuing cycle of releasing the old and welcoming the new that is the hallmark of a healthy energy system.

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